Earlier this week, we reported on World Joyland, the counterfeit Blizzard theme park that recently opened in China. It's got not just one cheap knock-off Arthas, but two cheap knock-off Arthases. You can visit Silvermoon City or even get your picture taken in front of a half-draenei, half-dwarf who is allied with the Horde. It looks super confusing.
That got us here at WoW Insider thinking about a real, non-counterfeit World of Warcraft theme park with actual safety standards. A delicious lunch at The Mage Table. People dressed in boomkin costumes earning minimum wage. A fun swim in Thousand Needles! (Too soon?)
So this week, in addition to the usual "what are you playing" question, I had our intrepid columnists help design our own WoW theme park. Petting zoos! Fire! It's all there!
Care to sign a waiver before following me after the break? Totally routine, I assure you.
Adam Holisky (@adamholisky) (gplus.to/adamholisky) Katie's family is having a reunion of sorts down in the Twin Cities, so I'll be going to that this weekend. Last year her father mixed some good drinks, and this year there's a Twins game in it, so I'm looking forward to it. When I do have time play WoW, which I'm hoping to at night, I'll be on just long enough to do my dailies. Maybe I'll punish a PUG or two and run something ZA/ZG on my laptop. Tons of DPS that way, guaranteed! /nod /nod
Chase Christian (@madsushi) (gplus.to/madsushi) I will be working mostly; I have a lot of overtime scheduled. In my free time, I'll be playing Mass Effect 1. I'm starting a new character and playing through both games (and DLC) so that I have a character ready for ME3. Also, I'll be slaying Alliance at the Molten Front.
Bonus answer: I would love to have a coaster that simulates riding a Wind Rider and get to check out some recreated zone from the air!
Daniel Whitcomb (@danielwhitcomb) (gplus.to/danielwhitcomb) This weekend I really need to finish unpacking the last of my stuff from the move if I can. I'm also on track to unlock a second vendor for the Firelands dailies, so I'll make sure to get that done. I'll think I'll unlock the armorer so I can make critter launchers for all my hunter friends.
For me, the WoW Theme park should have massive a Pirates of the Caribbean-style water ride that leads you through the idyllic city of Stormwind, before plunging into the Chaos of the Orcish invasion, ending with the assassination of Llane by Garona while Varian looks on -- then to the events of Warcraft 2, including the death of Lothar to Doomhammer and the triumph of the Alliance and destruction of the Dark Portal.
Fox Van Allen (@foxvanallen) (gplus.to/foxvanallen) An exciting weekend of being way too hot. It's like, 5 million degrees out. Literally. Also, I'm sick. Sick of Tyler's face! Ohhhhh, burn! Hahah! I got him! I got him good! His face! His face! (Also, it's very wrinkly and he's old-looking.)
As for the theme park, I'm envisioning a weird, underwater Throne of Tides exhibit like that restaurant they have at Epcot that's totally underwater. Except instead of food, you'll get a story that just kind of drops off and winds up going unresolved.
Joe Perez (@Lodurzj) Bastion and Cthulhu Saves the World are my plans for this weekend. After that, preparing for Rag attempts on Monday. Also reading the new Thrall book. Also seeing Captain America and probably a few other movies.
Josh Myers (@Elamqt) Working and hopefully seeing Captain America. As for games, the BF and I have been spending some time on the side playing Rift, me tanking on a riftstalker and him healing on a chloromancer. It's actually been pretty fun.
As for a WoW theme park ride, I think a ferris wheel named "State of DPS."
Kelly Aarons (@Cadistra) More WoW, and sniffing the XBLA store for some neat titles. I'm going kayaking for the first time on Sunday, so if I die, Sacco gets my stuff.
Bonus answer: the Cenarion Circle Petting Zoo. All animals are sacred, and you should treat them as such. Oh, you're only petting a grizzly bear! Don't look so scared.
Anne Stickney (@shadesogrey) Family's in town for the weekend, so I'm going to be occupied with that, mostly.
Bonus answer: It wouldn't really be a Blizzard park if there weren't a Nesingwary camp just over the hill from the Cenarion Circle Petting Zoo. Plotting. Also, I'm thinking that Gamon needs to be somewhere inconspicuous, having a drink. If you talk to him, he punches you.
Kelly Aarons D:< Then I'd have no choice but to hire D.E.H.T.A. to keep watch. :x
Lisa Poisso (@emused) (gplus.to/lpoisso) No computers this weekend, unless I'm working -- we're redoing our shower grouting. Doesn't that sound like fun?!
Bonus question: There's no losing me in a WoW-themed amusement park; I'll be riding the water flume log ride from Grizzly Hills, over and over and over and over and over ...
Mat McCurley (@gomatgo) (gplus.to/gomatgo) League of Legends mega-weekend continues. WoW archaeology will happen as well.
If I could make an attraction at the WoW Theme Park, it would be the Yogg Saron Madness Machine. You go in sane; you come out the worst player in your raid.
Matt Low (@Matticus) Going on a massive recruiting and rebuilding spree over the weekend. Oh, World of Warcraft, you can be a pain sometimes. Not sure what to do in the games department. I've run out of stuff to play! I beat Black Ops last week!
Matt Rossi (@MatthewWRossi) Friday and Saturday, I hope to be drawing stuff, working on an idea. Sunday, probably Ragnaros.
A WoW theme park needs an actual 100-foot-tall column of fire screaming at everyone that it was too soon. TOO SOON. Bonus points if it hits random people with a gigantic burning hammer.
Matt Walsh (@Rhidach) (gplus.to/rhidach) Trying out League of Legends for the first time tonight, then I need to run a few troll heroics to cap my VP for the week. I'll probably finish up my latest playthrough of Fallout: New Vegas, too.
As for an amusement ride, how about a room where random spouts of fire pop up and people have to try not to stand in them. If you succeed, you get a T-shirt.
Michael Gray (@writegray) (gplus.to/writegray/) I have family coming in from out of town, so I'm working today and then cleaning for a day or two. Then, probably going to play with the dog and nephew a bunch. I'm a simple guy that way.
Robin Torres (@cosmiclaurel) (gplus.to/cosmiclaurel) My daddy is coming to visit, and it's time that he discovers Beatles Rock Band, since he is such a huge Beatles fan and yet has never seen the game. The Spawn has also requested multiple games of Uno with him, so not sure if I'll have much time for WoW. If I do, I'll be farming more heavy leather on Roblinator. Grumble mumble leatherworking.
Bonus: After the heat and excitement of the rest of the park, I would like to take the peaceful gondola ride through the Undercity, where the inhabitants sing "If you were dead" to the tune of "If you had wings."
The weekend is the perfect time to kick back, relax and enjoy some game time. Are you an achievement junkie? Can't get enough raiding? Rolling a new alt? Considering taking the leap into roleplaying? Whatever your favorite way to play World of Warcraft, let us know in the comments what you're playing this weekend!