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The Onion releases latest round of iPhone specs
Crazy, we knew The Onion had some pretty reliable sources inside Apple, but who would have thought the Stevephone reproduces through asexual mitosis? And we still think $600 is a lot, but an iPhone hat clearly makes it a fantastic value.
The Onion: Apple launches iLaunch
One things about Apple geeks: We're not afraid to make fun of our own fanatical devotion. Take this great article at The Onion which describes the latest Apple product, The "iLaunch:""The iLaunch runs Keynote-formatted presentations in high definition through a built-in projector while displaying a 3-D rotating image of the product. Voice-recognition software, Apple's most advanced to date, can recite a speech highlighting the features of the device while injecting several clever digs at competitors..."I'd like to see a "Reality Distortion Field: Home Edition."
Onion newsbrief: iPhone 2.0 in the works
We do love The Onion around these parts, and when Onion coverage does cross over into Engadget territory, we find it's usually best to let those guys speak for themselves:"'We looked at [the iPhone's] innovative user interface, the paradigm-shifting voicemail, the best-in-class mobile browser, and we realized we could make all that seem ridiculously outdated by the time the product becomes available to customers in June,' said Jobs, who described the project as 'Apple reinventing the iPhone.'"We really love that Palm's sponsoring the page, too. [Potentially NSFW in and around The Onion.][Thanks, Duke]
The Onion: Man needs two trips to complete GoW
We just received some breaking news from The Onion. They are reporting that Pennsylvania resident Ronald Franks only needs two more trips to Best Buy to complete the Gears of War campaign. Ronald has been bringing his memory card to the retailer for the past three weeks and feels that he can beat the game in a few more trips. Though, he says that when he gets to the final boss he'll "probably take a personal day to defeat RAAM". We wish Mr. Franks the best of luck in his quest to complete Gears and hope his Barnes & Noble copying trips are just as successful. Where would we be without hard hitting news like this?
The Onion takes a stab at the Wii (and PS3)
The Onion, in full-on satiric overdrive, took some stabs at both the Wii and PS3 in a fairly funny side-by-side comparison. Taking the everyman approach to labelling each system's strengths and weaknesses in a full-on 'two systems enter, one system leaves' battle in the Thunderdome, they gauge such aspects as 'special features' and 'the way your peers will view you.' They've got some curse words in there, so we included their observations into the post, past the jump.
The Onion skewers Wii and PS3
The Onion posts a hi-larious infographic comparing the PS3 and Wii in such categories as "ability to tear families apart" and ability to be a "parenting substitute." (Both consoles score "excellent" in the latter category.)We would have added "reason you upgraded the TV." (PS3: Needed the full 1080p experience. Wii: Tried to show off home-run swing to first date and let go of the remote.)What other headings -- and judgments -- would you add? [Via N'Gai Croal's Level Up]
What in the World of Warcraft is love?
The Onion has produced a quite frankly amazing satirical piece with which spouses and lovers of WoW addicts everywhere will instantly empathize. It perfectly encapsulates the geekiness and obsession with World of Warcraft that the other half invariably fails to understand, usually because they live life in the real world rather than in Azeroth. I don't want to spoil it by quoting any of it here, so just take my word for it and read this article!
