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April Fools' Day 2012: And the rest
It was a fairly lively April Fools' Day this year -- not only did we manage to make it all day without being duped, deceived or disillusioned, but at times we were genuinely entertained by what the technology and gaming companies of the world were able to dream up.On the other hand, the stuff invented for April Fools' Day is often times way, way cooler than the products that actually get made, which is sort of depressing when you stop and think about it. It's like the news cycle on April Fools' Day is glimpse into a world where magic is still alive in the hearts and minds of millions. Sigh.Anyway, we've taken the liberty of compiling the gags and goofs we haven't already posted about into this specific chunk of Internet, so head on past the break for a look at realities better than our own.
Valve puts fake Half-Life: Episode 3 listing on Steam for April Fools' Day [Update: Nope]
Damn it, Valve.UPDATE: We've discovered that this website is a fake and does not actually belong to Valve. We were duped by a fake April Fools' Day joke posing as a real April Fools' Day joke and sincerely apologize for passing this along to you as fact.
One Shots: Bringing it back for realsies
By now, everyone's figured out that today's One Shots revival was an April Fool's joke, but you guys have been such great sports about it that we're going to Bring Back One Shots starting next weekend as a once-a-week featurette. No... really. No joke! So... do send your screenshots to oneshots@massively.com, and don't forget to include all the usual details, like your name, the name of the game shown in the screenshot, and a little explanation of the scene. Large, colorful, clear, UI-free shots that tell a story and really show off the game make for the best images. We'll pore over the submissions every week and pick out one that really sings to us to showcase, and then we'll see how it goes. If we get lots of submissions and the feature does well, we'll keep it around more permanently! We've tucked our first entry, from Ehra, behind the break to cap off the April Fool's festivities!
Ska Studios' Charlie Murder media blitz, Twisted Pixel buy-out prank
Ska Studios' next title is a gory RPG-dungeon-crawler punk-fest called Charlie Murder, and we have the first trailer available for the pleasure of your eyeballs and earballs above. Charlie Murder has a brand new website that developer Ska Studio promises to update with bios, wallpapers and music in the near future; for now it features a hefty batch of shiny screens.In related Ska news, the studio's April Fools' joke materialized in a post about it being bought out by Twisted Pixel for a jet ski, in order to offset the number of fancy dinners Twisted Pixel ends up buying Ska at PAX.In related related ska news, this.
One Shots: None shall pass... until the sun comes out
Who dares attempting to pass? You? Are you trying to pass the Great and Terrible White Wizard? Well, please don't. He wouldn't like it very much. In fact, he might become so put out that he'll cast a spell with his +5 staff of mockery and turn you into another piece of coal for his suit. For years I have wanted to pass by this snowman in Lord of the Rings Online but chickened out each and every time I came under his glare. Just look into those eyes and tell me that you don't feel your will melting away and your feet frozen into place. Back away, my friend. Back away slowly and never return. Do you have a picture of a favorite MMO anthropomorphic pile of snow? The very first thing you should do is not send it in to us at oneshots@massively.com, along with your name, the game, and a description of the scene, and we won't publish it. Bring back One Shots!
Assassin's Creed on Kinect makes people look like Fools, also it's April
A dark, cynical part of us truly enjoys April Fools' day. We already have severe trust issues with the world at large, and one day a year we're allowed to look at every single person with a complete lack of belief or respect and have it be totally normal. We're proud to say that while we watched the above trailer for Assassin's Creed on Kinect, the expression on our faces was absolutely normal.
One Shots: Can you believe they put that in an MMO?
This is a screenshot of one of the most amazing things ever seen in any MMO. When I first saw it, I couldn't believe that it was actually happening. Is it a glitch? An easter egg? Has some disgruntled developer thrown this in to get back at his boss just before leaving the industry for good? Unfortunately, my character stepped in the way at the last second, but that shouldn't matter, right? Oh well. It was amazing, I swear! Do you have a picture of the one that got away? The very first thing you should do is not send it in to us at oneshots@massively.com, along with your name, the game, and a description of the scene, and we won't publish it. Bring back One Shots!
MetaMetaCritic, the reviewer-review aggregator [April Fools]
Paradox Interactive's contribution to 2012's April Fools' Day festivities is MetaMetaCritic, a "new reviewer-review aggregator" that "aggregates reviews of reviewers." Its basically exactly what it sounds like, and while the site doesn't actually work, per se, it has been pre-loaded with several gaming journalists from around the internet, including our own Dave Hinkle."David remains difficult to control and displays terrible pathfinding," read's Dave's fictional review from faux-outlet EDIT Magazine. "Nevertheless he has an extraordinary ability to not only produce words, but frequently arrange them in the correct order, no mean feat in this day and age.""Select media groups have already cited MetaMetaCritic scores as providing a good guideline for journalists' bonus pay," reads the site's press release, available after the break.... Wait, we're supposed to be getting bonuses? I need to make some phone calls.
One Shots: Botanical bliss
This is a picture of a plant in Fisherman's Haven in Guild Wars, one of my favorite zones for accessing my storage vault when I'm /invisible and hiding out from my friends, who are probably trying to drag me along to vanquish zones or do Zaishen dailies or something. I mean, seriously guys, I think you forgot that MMOs aren't supposed to be about fun. They're supposed to be about spending $60 and then complaining on the forums and quitting in a huff. Behind me is a beautiful vista with gentle waves swirling on a beach nestled in an exotic cove, but you can't see any of those things because I chose to focus on this plant, darnit. It's my very favorite plant. I stand next to this plant while accessing the storage vault referenced earlier. I don't have to comport with your oppressive "beautiful screenshot" paradigm. This plant has deep meaning. Deep. Meaning. Something about standing alone in a wasteland of sand. It's about the very essence of MMOs, see? Do you have a picture of a favorite MMO plant? The very first thing you should do is not send it in to us at oneshots@massively.com, along with your name, the game, and a description of the scene, and we won't publish it. Bring back One Shots!
Think Geek's April Fools' Day swag includes Minecraft 'Creeps' and a Skyrim hoodie
Think Geek does April Fools' Day like no one else, partially because the fake items they come up with are consistently hilarious, but also because one phony gag always ends up becoming a real product. This year, we're hoping the realness treatment comes to one of the two goofy gifts seen above, the Minecraft Creeps or the Skyrim Electronic Dragon Shout Hoodie.If they actually existed, the Minecraft Creeps would come in packs of four at $4.99 a pop. The Skyrim hoodie, similar to Think Geek's other electronic clothing apparel, would run on four AAAA batteries (not included) and would be capable of reproducing all 20 of the Dovahkiin's shouts.To be honest, we also wouldn't mind if the Star Trek Inflatable Captain's Chair or the Star Wars Admiral Ackbar Singing Bass were put into production. Actually, you know what, Think Geek? Just go ahead and make all of this stuff, we promise we'll buy at least one of everything.
Blizzard Entertainment introduces Blizzard Kidzz!
Blizzard Entertainment has just announced a new line of educational games for children of all ages, involving plenty of favorites from the Blizzard universe of games. For Warcraft fans, keep an eye out for The Westfall Trail, in which kids ages 6 and up can lead a band of settlers from Lordaeron to Westfall while learning about the history of Azeroth -- as long as you avoid catching dysentery, of course. And if it's typing skills you're looking for, Zergling Teaches Typing should be right up your alley. There's even a playable demo of the game available on the official site. Yep, with Blizzard Kidzz, your child can play all the games their heart desires -- and learn while doing it, too!
Notch's new space game is called ... Mars Effect?! [April Fools!]
It looks like the Elite-inspired space trading game Mojang's Notch has been working on finally has a name: Mars Effect. The game's official site just went live with a smattering of gameplay details, as well as insight into the philosophy behind Mars Effect's name."After several weeks of trying to come up with a good name for the game, we finally decided not to learn from previous experiences and pick a name that's already kind of in use by a huge existing franchise," says Notch. "After playing around with names like 'Elight,' 'Wind Commander,' and 'Steve Online,' we finally settled on the very catchy name 'Mars Effect'."The game's bulleted list of features includes things like "waist high walls" and "a game ending that makes sense," among other things. Notch also outlines the game's "fixed wattage" system: All ships produce a finite amount of energy, and your ship's features require specific amounts of power. Activating a cloaking device, for example, requires so much power that other ancillary systems like computers and lights must be shut down in order to free up wattage. Each ship is also equipped with a fully emulated 16-bit computer, which "can be used to control your entire ship, or just to play games on while waiting for a large mining operation to finish."Update: Rather than play along with these gags as they happen, we've decided instead to tag each April Fools' Day prank as such in the headline, in order to avoid as many dashed hopes as possible. While we never believed for a second that Notch would actually call his next game Mars Effect, we wouldn't be surprised if some of these gameplay mechanics ended up in his actual space game.[Thanks, Jason!]
Google Maps comes to ... the NES?! [April Fools!]
In a move that is as surprising as it is whimsically delightful, Google has decided to bring its globally renowned and often essential Google Maps service to one of the best-selling home computing solutions of all time: The Nintendo Entertainment System.As demonstrated in the video above, using Google Maps on your NES/Famicom is just as easy as using it on your desktop, smartphone or tablet. Simply insert the cartridge into the system, remove it, blow into it, reinsert it back into the system, attach a phone line and you're ready to go. Google's cloud of servers compensate for the NES's lack of processing prowess, allowing for a quick, seamless experience.While Google Maps for NES has yet to begin shipping, a demo version is available at the web-based Google Maps portal -- just click on the Quest button on the top right to begin your adventure.Update: Rather than play along with these gags as they happen, we've decided instead to tag each April Fools' Day prank as such in the headline, in order to avoid as many dashed hopes as possible. For what its worth, we want this to be real as much as you do.
