goat simulator
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You can't play Goat Simulator on Mac (yet), but you can play Goat Rampage on iOS
Goat Simulator is an amazing game. In Goat Simulator, you control a goat and destroy a small town by running into everything in sight. The game is indeed headed for OS X, but it's not there yet, which is a total bummer. However, a new iOS game has snuck in to capitalize on the goat hype, and while it's not quite as fantastic as the original, it's still a lot of fun. It's called Goat Rampage. To call Goat Rampage a "game" might be a bit of an overstatement. It's more of a physics sandbox where you control the movement of a goat. You can run and jump, but that's about it. There's no real objective, aside from wrecking everything in sight, and the game only really ends when you decide to stop playing. But while things like plot are ignored, guiding your awkward little farm animal around the large stages is somehow hypnotic and satisfying. You'll topple stacks of boxes, knock barrels flying, and even take out massive objects and animals like military tanks and elephants. Each time you hit an object you get a specific number of points, and those points are tallied towards your high score. Getting zero points offers the same reward as getting 5,000, so don't feel too bad if your point total is modest. The point here is to make your own fun. The game is US$0.99, and it's hard to deny how strangely enjoyable it is. It's not Goat Simulator, but at the moment, it's the next best thing on an Apple device.
Multiplayer hijinks, new map join Goat Simulator in May
Those who have already exhausted the myriad ways to wreck stuff in Goat Simulator will be happy to hear that the game's first patch both squashes bugs and brings new content for your cloven-hooved avatar to destroy. "Goat Simulator patch 1.1 adds local splitscreen multiplayer and a whole new playable map, coming in the middle of May," wrote Coffee Stain Studios in a recent tweet. The developer fails to offer any specifics on what this new map might contain or how the addition of a second goat might alter Goat Simulator's baffling gameplay, but we expect to hear more soon. If you haven't already played Goat Simulator, you can grab the game from Steam for $10. Respected goat resource GoatFinder lists prices for actual, live goats from $75 to $500, so consider Goat Simulator a bargain-priced entry to the world of naughty livestock. [Image: Coffee Stain Studios]
Goat Simulator now available for barnyard mischief on Steam
Leave it to Coffee Stain Studios to deliver totally serious news on April Fool's Day: The indie developer launches Goat Simulator on Steam today. For $9.99, PC players can raise hell as the adorably mischievous goat, scoring points by breaking items as they would in a game like Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, save for the epic tricks. To whet the appetites of today's unfunny pranksters, Coffee Stain Studios did offer goofy "release day patch notes" in Goat Simulator's official Steam forums. The day-one patch "added more goats," "added more goatiness to the map," increased "goat tongue realism" by 25 percent and "probably added some bugs." The patch did not change the goat in the game to a hawk, which would have made more sense of our conversation with the developer at the Game Developer's Conference in March. [Image: Coffee Stain Studios]
Joystiq Weekly: Facebook buys Oculus VR, Bioshock Infinite DLC review, GDC videos and more
Welcome to Joystiq Weekly, a "too long; didn't read" of each week's biggest stories, reviews and original content. Each category's top story is introduced with a reactionary gif, because moving pictures aren't just for The Daily Prophet. If GDC and this past week has taught us anything, it's that almost no one's happy with the present state of reality. Virtual reality headset Oculus Rift now has a pretty cushion-y parent company, the comparable Project Morpheus potentially has Sony's developers behind it, and Microsoft might be toying with their own ideas for augmented reality. The common consensus seems to be "let's reach the future, even if it means strapping displays to our faces." We're starting to wonder what Nintendo's non-wearable health technology is going to look like. If it's not something to block out our primary reality, and if it's planned to launch through Nintendo's fiscal year of 2016, will it be something to supplement devices we already own? Maybe we'll face a line of AdventureTrek treadmills, where we run and jump our way through iconic Nintendo universes. Maybe it will involve a Pokemon MMO played with pedometer devices like the Pokemon Pikachu, with dungeon raids consisting of a dozen people throwing their devices into dryers for the best possible attack speed. Or maybe neither of those ideas! Because they're garbage. What isn't garbage is the slew of news, reviews and original content we've lined up for you in this week's Joystiq Weekly. Even if you don't care about VR, there's news of a legal tussle between 3D Realms and Gearbox over Duke Nukem, a hint of The Last Of Us reaching the PS4 and a review of Bioshock Infinite's Burial at Sea Episode Two. There's also video features from GDC for Fantasia: Music Evolved, Goat Simulator and Videoball, in case you like moving pictures with your words. We've summarized all that and more for you to delve into after the break!
Goat Simulator launch trailer kids around with Dead Island
Between Escape Goat 2 and Goat Simulator, wow: Goats, so hot right now. Remember that launch trailer for Dead Island from a few years back that caught so much attention? Well, prepare to never view it the same way again. Coffee Stain Studios' game is the "latest in goat simulation technology, bringing next-gen goat simulation to YOU." The dev isn't lying: If you're going to run Goat Simulator just be sure you've got plenty of ram. For more on Goat Simulator, including why all animals are in fact goats, check out our in-depth GDC interview with Coffee Stain's Armin Ibrasagic. The game hits Steam on April 1*. *Of course it does. [Image: Coffee Stain Studios]
Why Goat Simulator is secretly a Hawk simulator
Getting the gist of Goat Simulator isn't that hard, even if the title conjures the image of cute, semi-evil livestock munching on a tranquil mountaintop. What we have here is a misappropriation of computational cycles – not to mention the Unreal engine – to render an obnoxious, destructive beast that lives to ruin a generic suburb. But there is a game in there, not just a joke. Developer Armin Ibrasagic of Coffee Stain Studios (Sanctum) explained his design inspiration to us during the Game Developers Conference, ahead of Goat Simulator's wide release through Steam on April 1. Based on our dumb video above, the argument goes something like this: 1) Goat Simulator depicts and encourages the ram-ifications of being near an insane goat. 2) Since all animals are goats – just watch the video – it follows that all animals are simulated here. 3) Hawks are animals. 4) Pro skater Tony Hawk is part of the Hawk family and is therefore an animal. 5) It follows that Goat Simulator is simulating Tony Hawk, "except instead of a skater you're a goat, and instead of doing tricks you make people angry."
Internet darling Goat Simulator crashes into Steam on April Fool's Day
Coffee Stain Studios, the indie developers behind bizarre Joystiq fixation Goat Simulator, have revealed a release date for the odd little game: April 1 - appropriately, April Fool's Day. Alongside the release date, the developers have also revealed a bit of additional information on Goat Simulator. Thanks to the game's website we now know that Goat Simulator will only appear on PC, and that it will not feature any multiplayer functionality. While Coffee Stain Studios plans to keep the core gameplay in Goat Simulator "small and silly," the developer is working on adding Steam Workshop support so that players can create new levels for their four-legged avatars to ruin in a flurry of barnyard hijinks. Goat Simulator has yet to appear on Steam, but Coffee Stain Studios is still allowing prospective virtual goats to pre-order the game via its website. The asking price is $10, but includes access to a beta test for those who can't wait to live out their inexplicable dreams of being antisocial livestock. [Image: Coffee Stain Studios]
Gone North Games forgoes violence to tell A Story About My Uncle
Though exceedingly common in video games, blood and guts are not a necessary component of good design - an oft-forgotten point that developer Gone North Games hopes to demonstrate with its upcoming indie platformer A Story About My Uncle. Officially described as a "non-violent first-person platform adventure game built in the Unreal Engine," A Story About My Uncle tells the tale of a boy searching for his lost uncle, only instead of finding him down at the pub or watching a baseball game, our protagonist somehow stumbles upon a fantastic world. We urge you to watch the trailer above, as it reiterates all those plot points we just mentioned but does so with the aid of attractive, intriguing visuals. Originally conceived as a university project, A Story About My Uncle was nominated for a Swedish game of the year award in 2012. That success drew the attention of Coffee Stain Studios - the people responsible for the baffling yet mesmerizing Goat Simulator - which now plans to publish A Story About My Uncle on Steam at some point in 2014. [Image: Gone North Games]
The Internet has spoken, Goat Simulator now available for pre-order
As we mentioned last week, the Internet loves few things more than fuzzy creatures and wanton destruction, so it comes as little surprise to learn that Goat Simulator has received enough online affection to transform the Global Game Jam entry into a full-fledged game. "OKAY INTERNET YOU WIN, IT LOOKS LIKE GOAT SIMULATOR IS OUR NEXT IP," wrote Swedish developer Coffee Stain Studios, before delving into what is arguably a description of the game. "Goat Simulator is like an old school skating game, except instead of being a skater, you're a goat, and instead of doing tricks, you wreck stuff. It brings next-gen goat simulation to YOU. WASD to write history." Pay a visit to the newly-launched Goat Simulator website and at the bottom you'll find a pre-order form asking for $10. There's currently no word on when Goat Simulator will be released, nor any in-depth information on what the game will be like once completed, beyond the trailer's promise that your goat will be able to wield an axe with its tongue. Still, we can't see that mattering much. If the online masses want goat mischief, the online masses will get goat mischief, no matter what form it may take. [Image: Coffee Stain Studios]
Goats are jerks, Goat Simulator proves it
For millennia goats have been known as the most demonic of livestock, and as this footage from Goat Simulator demonstrates, were they not kept in pens, goats would run amok, headbutting buckets into space, climbing ladders and sprinting headlong into moving cars. Created by Swedish developer Coffee Stain Studios for Global Game Jam 2014, Goat Simulator awards players points for their antisocial barnyard behavior. While never intended for retail release, the internet has unsurprisingly fallen for this combination of fuzzy beasts and wanton destruction. "When I woke up today my video with the damn goat had 100,000 views, which is like more than all our other real game trailers the last year combined," Coffee Stain PR manager Armin Ibrisagic told Vice. Following this unexpected outpouring of support, Coffee Stain is now pondering the future of Goat Simulator. "We are discussing what more we can do with Goat Simulator now that people have shown such an interest in it, but we don't want to promise anything," Ibrisagic said, adding, "We're going to listen to people's opinions in the coming couple of days and see how it goats." [Image: Coffee Stain Studios]
