With pointy hats and staffs stowed in a coat-check of pure gold, Catholic bishops have decreed the use of mass, digital communications to spread the word of the bible in as many languages as possible. In a statement just issued to the flock, the bishops said:

"The voice of the Divine Word must resonate over the radio, on Internet channels with virtual distribution (and by) CDs, DVDs and iPods, and on television and cinema screens."

The implied message here is very clear: God hates the Blu-ray.

Don't act like you didn't know that Pope Benedict XVI was down with modern technology. As part of World Youth Day, the man himself will begin sending out texts of encouragement to pilgrims who have signed up through Telstra to receive them. A total of four gigantic "prayer walls" have been erected at the Sydney Opera House, the Domain, Darling Harbour and Randwick Racecourse in Australia, where folks will actually be able to send their own messages for all to presumably see. The first message sent out? "Young friend, God and his people expect much from u because u have within you the Fathers supreme gift: the Spirit of Jesus - BXVI." Hllujh, amn brtha.

[Thanks, zedster]

Make no mistake, this isn't the first time a religious symbol has been integrated into a digital audio player, but unlike the iBelieve, this thing is actually, you know, real. Destined to be sold in bulk quantities to youth groups everywhere, the Cross MP3 Player is hardly designed by coincidence, and comes with 4GB of internal memory, a two-color LCD, built-in speaker, FM tuner, integrated mic, seven equalizer modes and a multi-language menu for those overseas mission trips. Fightin' the good fight will only cost you $48.14, but you can whittle that down even more by purchasing these things by the hundreds. Check out a couple more shots after the jump.

[Via CNET]

Church attendance is down in most of the western world, so what better way to boost the numbers than provide free iTunes gift vouchers? That's what the Church by the Glades in Florida is doing with a three week series of seminars called "'i': Living in a self absorbed world." Somehow, some free tunes, a hefty chunk of change in Apple's coffers, and a "borrowed" marketing campaign are supposed to help attendees "avoid the self-absorbed mentality." We're gonna hold off on judgement here since if anything, this gives us an excuse to whip out our iBelieve.

[Via Fark]

It's not like Sony hasn't been under fire from outlets in America and abroad before, but the latest quibble is coming from none other than the Church of England. Turns out that Sony reportedly took it upon itself to recreate the historic interior of Manchester Cathedral in Resistance: Fall of Man without first asking permission, and now there could be hell heaven to pay. Currently, the Church has asked Sony to "apologize and contribute a large donation from the game's profits as it did not pay a commercial fee to use the cathedral as a backdrop." Additionally, Sony could face two other demands -- one that requests the withdrawal of the game altogether, and the other to modify the section of the cathedral's interior. Notably, it's been no secret that certain sects of the UK have been dealing with rashes of gun crime, and while Sony hasn't succumbed to paying up or recalling all copies of the game just yet, it did say that it would "contact the cathedral authorities to understand their concerns in more detail."

It's fairly obvious that using the Wii to keep yourself slim and trim is bound to put a smile on your SO's face, but a curious banner at a presumed church used Nintendo's console (and its token font, too) to hint at answers to a successful marriage. Of course, a couple interested in spending countless hours of quality time gaming away with each other are indeed more likely to find common ground, but for the uber-competitive type, gaming together could lead to more quibbles than friendly laughs. Nevertheless, it shouldn't be surprising that a religious institution would tap into mainstream culture in order to garner attention to its offerings, and hey, if you've got to go to counseling for only taking "Mii" into consideration, you may as well get your game on while you're at it.

[Via NintendoWiiFanboy]

While we've seen quite a few toys pulling stunts that they should definitely be ashamed of, the latest edition ups the ante by doing its dirty deed in a Roman Catholic cathedral. Following the "if it blinks, obliterate it" mentality so well exemplified at various Boston transit arteries, a team of Santa Fe bomb squad experts were called onto the scene after three CD players were triggered to start blasting "sexually explicit language in the middle of an Ash Wednesday Mass" at the Roman Catholic Cathedral Basilica of St. Francis of Assisi. Reportedly, the players were "duct-taped to the bottoms of the pews," apparently causing the innocent church dwellers to assume the worse -- you know, like C4 explosives camouflaged as a mid-range driver. Nevertheless, the bomb squad removed the devices, took them outside, and probably had a thrilling experience whilst detonating two of the players as a safety measure. Once the crew realized the only explosive tendencies were captured in the inappropriate lyrics, they salvaged the third unit to comb for fingerprints and hopefully arrest the perpetrator(s). Now, which cop is going to cave in and post the fireworks on YouTube?

[Via BoingBoing]

C'mon folks, everyone and their grandmother will likely be watching the Super Bowl this coming Sunday (even across the pond), and even if you have no interest in the Colts, Bears, or large men in awkward suits, someone in your family probably feels otherwise. Nevertheless, the NFL showcased its mighty power (and terrible decision making) by condemning Fall Creek Baptist Church's "Super Bowl Bash," saying that advertising a fee-based party that utilized "license-protected words" was against regulations. Furthermore, ditching the door charge and the taboo language wasn't good enough to solve the problem, as "the law" limits Super Bowl (wait, can we say that now?) party TVs to a quantity of one, and that single set must not be over 55-inches. Needless to say, we don't doubt that good few of you fine, law-abiding, tax-paying citizens will be catching the big game with a couple of your friends on your 60-inch plasma (or 100-inch projection screen), but we'd highly recommend building an underground bunker between now and Sunday to make sure your plans are safe. Of course, bars and other eateries are somehow exempt from this bogus rule, and as expected, all the grumbling stems from Nielsen's obvious inability to estimate just how many folks are watching a single tube on this advertisers' dream night, but ratings drops or not, we wouldn't mess with Touchdown Jesus.

Though many look to His Steveness as some sort of cult leader (or in some more drastic, frightening cases, a deity of sorts), in a recent religious tract Jews for Jesus felt compelled to ask: What's next for the iPod guy? We think it's a little presumptuous a title for the tract -- which as far as we know is actual and real -- to assume he's one way or another when it comes to holiness since his 2004 bout with pancreatic cancer. (Jobs, as you might recall, was raised Lutheran but has long since been influenced by Eastern spirituality.) Besides the backward Apple logo (and their obvious oversight of the whole Garden of Eden implication), at least J4J got most of the basic details about Jobs' history down, including mention of the Reality Distortion Field (illustrated by beaming Jack Chick-inspired heavenly emanations), so you've at least got to hand these guys five points for creativity. Still, something tells us the only thing we can expect to see from the iPod guy in the near future is some biz on Leopard, and maybe some more info on the long-awaited Mac Pros.

[Thanks to everyone who sent this in]