EKGuard service tells you if you're having a heart attack
Since the majority of our day consists of stuffing our face with Big Macs while writing these posts from bed, you might say that we don't lead the most heart-healthy lifestyle (in fact, our risk-adjusted age makes us 73-years-old). With that in mind, we were pleased to discover a new service called EKGuard that you can call if you think you're having a heart attack, and learn from a friendly EMT or nurse on the other end that it's just gas. Actually, the operator listens to your symptoms and transfers you over to a cardiologist if things sound dicey; the doctor may then advise you to perform a self-EKG with Aerotel Medical Systems' Heartview P12 portable unit (included in your subscription). The Heartview is a 12-lead monitor that only requires 4 chest electrodes and 3 steps to register a full reading, and is able to transmit its results over the phone with a series of beeps and boops (or something like that). It doesn't really need to be mentioned that someone having a severe heart attack probably won't have the time nor the composure to go through the fairly intricate 5-minute process, so if your left arm keeps dropping the electrodes you're trying to stick on, you're best off skipping the EKGuard service altogether and calling yourself an ambulance.
[Thanks, Yossi]
