Open letter to manufacturers of household products: Stop messing with the classic pillow design by trying to get all high tech and cutesy. That means no more MP3 playing pillows, no networked pillows for "communicating" with loved ones, no pillows that record us snoring, no pillows that indicate current surfing conditions, and definitely no pillows with artificial heartbeats. Chillows, however, are still allowed. That is all. Since we'll get in trouble if we don't mention the actual product here: the Sound Pillow is just a regular pillow with embedded speakers and a stereo plug, designed by the UK's Royal National Institute for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing to sooth tinnitus sufferers (which actually makes it sound kind of useful, thus negating our whole introductory rant), and costing about $44.