While we question the ability of McSweeney's to
integrate classic Nintendo characters into a major-league squad, that's just the scouting report that's been released
for this truly fantasy baseball roster.
For instance, you've got a young shortstop who spends way too much of his time with "fairies" in Link and the token female pitcher (albeit one with a built-in arm cannon) in Samus, but these inclusions will always be overshadowed by that of the stocky plumber stalked by rumors of steroid abuse. Way to go, Mario.