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Free Xbox Live Gold week, or free virtual girlfriend? It's all so confusing! [update 1]

Vladimir Cole

As we were just saying in the previous post, Microsoft's got a lot of irons in the fire. The "free Xbox Live week" promotion seems to be particularly well-liked by the folks at Microsoft and Verizon, as the two companies have made plans to make the week of May 8th through May 14th free to broadband-connected Xbox 360 owners.

The newest promotion is timed to coincide with E3, and will also include a giveaway of one million Microsoft Points and a "backstage" E3 pass (did you boys pick those up on Craigslist, by any chance?).

Just because we're borderline obsessive-compulsive, here's everything that Joanna Dark says upon loading the promotion page (with our comments in brackets):

  • Don't keep me waiting [I'm hurrying, but these damned foil packages are so hard to open in the dark!]
  • I'm free all week [As opposed to for-pay the rest of the time... undertones of prostitution here. Sure, why not?]
  • You got a week. Come get some. ["Some what," we wonder, as we stare at Ms. Dark's fetching hindquarters.]
  • Don't arrive early. [A joke about premature arrival? Totally unexpected.]
  • Are you ready to play?
  • I'm game. Are you?
  • You want a piece of me? [Can't get much more explicit than this.]
  • Hope your couch is comfortable [It's fine for playing games. Here, put down that riding crop and have a controller.]
  • Hey, you got me all week [Why does she punctuate only some sentences? This annoys us.]
  • I'll be there. Will you? ["She told me to come but I was already there." -- AC/DC]
[Via too many tips to count.]

[Update 1: Neither Microsoft nor Verizon have announced this deal yet, so we eliminted language in the first paragraph that suggests that the companies have made an official proclamation. A Microsoft spokeswoman notes, "we plan on releasing more information early next week."]

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