We're so mad at ourselves for in some small way perpetuating the sphere of influence of Kim Kardashian, who, as Joel McHale correctly points out, is famous for having a big ass and a sex tape. But news is slow this morning, OK? It was either this or another cake shaped like the Companion Cube.
That said, here's EA Sports chief Peter Moore beating up on Kim Kardashian in Facebreaker, a fight you can re-enact at home with just a few free minutes and a semi-truck full of self-loathing. Who wins this historic clash of titans? All we can say for sure is not us, dear reader. Not us.