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Serious Sam: The First Encounter (classic) now on GOG

What you may not know about Sam, resident evil-alien-thing-killer and titular hero of the Serious Sam series, is that he's a serious guy. No, we don't mean he can't take a joke -- he's serious about savings, whether it be a coupon on a can of Campbell's Chunky or the fate of the whole world, he's all about the savings. And now GOG is saving you from a meaningless existence by offering the original Serious Sam: The First Encounter for $10.

That Hamilton will not only net you the original shooter, but also the game's soundtrack, though we can't imagine why anyone would want that. We panic enough when we hear this in the game -- we don't need to start looking over our shoulder at every crosswalk for fear of kamikaze, combustible dudes running us down, you know?