The following is a paid advertisement from the Advocates for Human Purity.
Friends, you've seen them at the docks, using their robotic limbs to put our organic brothers out of work. You've seen them at the bars, throwing their cyber-hootenannies, what with all the oil-drinking contests and their literal Electric Slide. That's right, we're talking about cyborgs -- and they've just gone too far.
Because now, they've injected their influence into a first-person shooter, Team Fortress 2. This otherwise innocuous game, full of hardworking organics, is being sullied with cybernetic arms, futuristic weapons like the "Machina" rifle and electric sunglasses.
Sure, they say it's all a harmless nod to Deus Ex: Human Revolution, but you know the truth: They've taken over your life, and now they're targeting your children (and your 20-something son who moved back in while he waits for his photography career to take off).
Friends, you were stone cold silent when they got their hands on Steve Austin, you were beary quiet when Teddy Ruxpin growled at your toddlers.
Isn't it time you spoke up?