Sharknado: The Video Game is horrible, and it costs $2.99


SyFy's Sharknado made-for-TV movie became a social media sensation (and the target of endless mockery) in part because it was intentionally cheesy and low-budget; chances are Sharknado 2: The Second One, which premieres this Wednesday on SyFy, will follow the same model. The Sharknado iOS game is cheesy and low budget as well, but instead of being charming, it's just cringe-worthy.

Sharknado: The Video Game is an endless runner -- which seems to be the category of choice for horrible licensed properties these days -- but unlike other such games it's not a free-to-play affair. This one will cost you a cool US$2.99 upfront, but don't expect that price to score you a fully featured experience, because you won't get it. What you will get is ugly graphics, unresponsive swipe controls, horrible music, and a heavy emphasis on in-app purchases.

The game is broken down into stages, each of which starts with your character (presumably based on Ian Ziering's Fin Shepard, the protagonist of both the original Sharknado and the new Sharknado 2) running down a city street as it is pelted with sharks. You eventually find a surfboard and end up surfing down the street instead, dodging the gaping jaws of more sharks along the way. Once that is completed, you are tossed into the air to murder a handful of sharks with a chainsaw by running into them in the same three-lane running mechanic you've been using from the start.

The "end" of the level is just a plain white screen that says "Sharknado destroyed," which immediately transitions into the next stage, which is really just the exact same thing you just got done completing, but with more sharks.

There were a lot of creative options available for a team designing a Sharknado-themed game, but unfortunately they weren't utilized. What we're left with is a crappy free-to-play game disguised with a premium price tag. Avoid.