Now that the Verizon-AOL-Yahoo! merger is finally nearing its completion, AOL CEO Tim Armstrong took to social media on Monday to unveil the combined organization's new name: Oath. No, seriously. They're calling it Oath. Yeah, like the promise. No, I don't know why either, but that distant rumbling you hear? That's the sound of the revamped moniker being ruthlessly dragged through Twitter by innumerable hot takes.