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The Morning After: Wednesday, April 12th 2017

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Nothing makes for morning reading quite like the protracted death of Windows' black sheep, Vista, the sex doll of the future, and terrifyingly upgraded VR horror rides. Something for everyone, we would hope.

Just add talent.Google's AutoDraw turns your clumsy scribbles into art

You can't draw, but that's OK because Google's AutoDraw can tell what you were trying to get down on paper. Using machine learning, it figures out that your mess of lines and unbalanced circles were an attempt at a car, and replaces it with with a much better-looking version. You can try it out on the web right now.

Definitely NSFW. But you should read and watch it anyway.
RealDoll's first sex robot took me to the uncanny valley

During our editor-in-chief's four-hour visit to the birthplace of the RealDoll, the frighteningly life-like full-body sex toy, he stared at mounds of silicone vaginas, sheets of detached nipples, headless women hanging from meat hooks, a 2-foot penis and skulls with removable faces that attach like refrigerator magnets. This is where RealDoll is on a mission to create the first realistic sex robot, replete with AI brains.

Derren Brown's Ghost Train gets a terrifying upgrade for 2017.
One theme park's mission to perfect VR horror

We got to preview 'Rise of the Demon,' a revamped version of the Ghost Train that opened last summer. It's based at the UK's Thorpe Park, a haven for British thrill-seekers, and was designed under the guidance of Derren Brown, a showman and master of psychological manipulation. All told, it's one of the most ambitious VR projects I've ever seen, blending the HTC Vive with immersive theater and intricate ride engineering. Here's how they did it... minus the spoilers.

Say goodnight to the awkward Windows middle sibling.
Microsoft finally pulls the plug on Vista

The old wives' truism that Windows operating systems alternate between great and skippable editions held true through the 2000s, and nowhere was that more evident than Vista. It appeared between the venerable XP and still-chugging 7 with a new interface that was prematurely rushed to market, and it showed. Ten years after its debut and six years after it stopped selling its commercial versions, Microsoft has stopped supporting the forgotten OS today. It's time to move on.

Say hello to the new hotness.The Windows 10 Creators Update is now live

After months of testing, Microsoft has begun the official rollout of its big feature update for Windows 10. Your system should grab it automatically, but there's also a manual option if you just can't wait. Added privacy settings, friendlier auto-updates, Beam streaming, Paint 3D and other new features await.

The as-ridiculous-as-it-sounds modern classic is now on Steam.
'Bayonetta' brings heel guns and hair fights to the PC

After years of feverish fan demand, PC gamers can now finally play Bayonetta. Arriving on Steam today with 4K support and advanced graphics options, Sega's critically acclaimed action classic now looks better than ever before. In a bid to entice those who already own the game, Sega will also be giving buyers the Digital Deluxe Edition at no extra cost until April 25th. Now about that Bayonetta 2....

Making a smartwatch sounds fraught with difficulty.
Fitbit is having trouble making a smartwatch

Ever since Fitbit introduced its Blaze fitness watch at CES 2016, there's been talk about the company building a "true" smartwatch. That conversation only intensified when Fitbit bought Pebble; its CEO confirmed such a product was in the works this past January. It looks like the mythical Fitbit watch might not be coming anytime soon, though: reports suggest that the product is plagued with production issues that'll push its launch back to the fall.

You don't need two action cameras.GoPro's trade-up program entices users to buy a Hero5

As GoPro tries to get its sales back on track, a for pitch existing owners offers up to $100 off of a new Hero5 camera. Of course, to get the discount, they'll need to trade in one of its older cameras first.

Here's more 'Star Wars'.
'Star Wars Battlefront II' trailer leaks out a few days early

EA promised a trailer for its Star Wars Battlefront sequel on April 15th during its Star Wars Celebration event, but it appears to have popped up online a bit early. The 30-second teaser clip shows "game engine footage," with hints at what we can expect from both its single- and multiplayer experience. It appears that the story mode will have players taking on the role of a young woman fighting on the side of the Empire in a post-Return of the Jedi storyline attempting to "avenge your emperor."

The pair is making a habit of bickering over trademarks.
Swatch's provocative 'Tick different' slogan has Apple riled

We don't know when exactly Apple and Swatch first fell out with each other, but trademark disputes seem to be the stage both have chosen to acknowledge their strained relationship publicly. In the latest example of this, Apple is challenging Swatch's "Tick different" trademark, which features in marketing campaigns for its Bellamy range of simple, analog watches that include NFC for contactless payments. Apple is arguing the phrase is too similar to its now-retired "Think different" slogan. Apple is no doubt hoping to even the score on Swatch, which succeeded in a pointless case last year. The UK Intellectual Property Office denied Apple certain rights to the name "iWatch" after Swatch had complained it was too similar to its existing "iSwatch" trademark

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