snake-oil
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Ubisoft announces Innergy (which is not a video game)
So what is it? "Innergy can help you with a job interview or simply to better sleep at night," explains concept director Tommy Francois (the one with the dyed-red hair). So how do you play it? You slap a sensor on your finger (no, not that sensor) and just breathe. "It's not magic," says Francois. No -- no it's not. In fact, we're pretty sure you can "play" it right now. Go on: breeeeeathe in ..... breeeeathe oooouuuut. That's it. That's your "innergy."
LessLoss BlackBody: improve your sound for just $959 and your sense of reason
The high-end audio market has always been more about marketing than about music, but it's hard to say if we've ever seen a product as phenomenally insane as the LessLoss BlackBody, a $959 block of metal that designer Louis Motek says "takes advantage of the quantum nature of particle interaction" to improve your stereo's sound quality by simply being in the same room. How? "Your gear's radiation is transformed into room-temperature blackbody radiation." Yeah -- and that's just the tip of this crazy iceberg. We can't say we believe it for a second, but LessLoss says that the BlackBody is so effective at altering "electromagnetic ambient conditions" that the quality improvement is obvious to "even non-audiophiles" listening to "a noisy home PC playing through your average SoundBlaster." That sounds like a challenge to us -- hit us up, LessLoss.
Video: Pocket Pain Doctor is the worst iPhone app. Ever.
The Pocket Pain Doctor is an iPhone app "guaranteed to invigorate your mind" and rid you of such pesky things as fatique, drowsiness and acne. Of course, it also has all the telltale signs of a swindle: fake trademark claims on the terms Bluwave and Redwave (which belong to Starkey Labs (for hearing aids) and American Banknote (RFID tags), respectively), "clinical proof" that has nothing to do with the product, and the faux sophistication of using "exacting nanometers" to adjust the, uh, brightness. Cherry on the cake? It's made by the same creepy one-man clown show responsible for the Pocket Cemetery app. Read - Pocket Pain Doctor website Read - US Patent and Trademark Office
HIS iClear claims to reduce noise, really just fills an empty PCIe slot
If you've been hankering for a good dose of snake oil, we've found something sure to satisfy. The HIS iClear card is marketed as a device that rides shotgun with your graphics card and "provides up to a 10-percent increase in signal-to-noise ratio performance." From what we can gather, this mostly barren piece of kit is supposed to reduce noise generated by your graphics card (or something to that effect), but considering that NewEgg gives this thing away for free with GPU purchases, we feel our doubts about its effectiveness as justified.[Via BoingBoing]
Today, on Not Getting the Joke theater
An ordinary person, upon seeing a guy named "Griftah" selling "Amazing Amulets" in the Lower City of Shattrathfor very high prices, may think twice before buying the amulets. But Gazzle is no ordinary gnome. He spent 25 gold on the "Polished Pendant of Edible Energy" -- whose tooltip states "Focusing one's metabolism, this pendant allows the wearer to draw great energy from ordinary food and drink -- even heal wounds!" Upon equipping it and conjuring up some food and water, he discovered that he wasn't regening health and mana any faster. Disillusioned, he posted a "Shame on you, Blizzard" message on the WoW General forums and went off to try ... the other amulet he purchased. A round of mocking follows in which a ton of people point out that the amulet does exactly what the tooltip says it does, and it's not the amulet's fault if the health and mana would regenerate anyway. It's kind of like purchasing a "Talisman of Protection from Crocodile Attacks" if you live in Minnesota -- hey, it must be working, because I haven't been attacked by crocodiles! Along those lines, Griftah also sells an "Infallible Tikbalang Ward," which protects you from Tikbalang attacks. I agree with Tseric -- let the buyer beware on these items. Or, as another poster states, "I prefer to think of it as a stupid tax." According to Allakhazam, Griftah also sells:
