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FreeHand puts a pocket on your wrist, L on your forehead
This day and age, there's really no excuse to have too little room in your average pair of cargo shorts for all the gadgets needed in a day. Convergence and shrinking PCBs have left us with do-it-all handhelds that can fit in the rear pockets of size 2 jeans on a size 4 gal, so really, you have exactly zero reasons to actually buy that abomination pictured above. If you must know, the FreeHand is a wearable neoprene pocket that keeps your keys, flash drives, RSA token and chump change within easy reach, and if you're lucky, you may be able to convince the boss it's being worn to prevent carpal tunnel syndrome. Folks who haven't listened to a word we just said can ignite a Jackson right now -- or spend $19.95 on this, same difference.[Via Coolest-Gadgets]
LeaveMeAloneBox perpetually closes itself, should win some kind of award
We can't say for certain that this is the most pointlessly sophisticated contraption we've ever seen built, but regardless of all that, we dare anyone to deny its greatness. In essence, the LeaveMeAloneBox does nothing more than turn itself off after a pestiferous human flips it on -- time, and time, and time again. Really, the beauty of this thing can only truly be seen in video, so click on through for what's likely to be the best 29 seconds of your day.[Via MAKE]
Robber holds up bank, doesn't bother to get off his cellphone
Make no mistake, we've seen some fairly boneheaded moves (even someone rocking this very same gaffe!) made by technologically-illiterate bank robbers, but the latest case involves a fellow who was quite the opposite of that. Yes, the 20 to 25 year male who decided to hold up an Alabama bank the day before his taxes were due actually did the deed without hanging up his cellphone. And there's surveillance footage to prove it. Quite honestly, we can't imagine what the conversation here would've been like, but at least he made the most of whatever minutes he had remaining as a free man, right?[Via textually]
Copulare's $2,350 iCoral iPod dock is just as absurd as you think
To be honest, JVC's P-Series LCD line may still hold the crown for most expensive iPod dock, but at least it comes with an expansive 1080p panel, right? Pushing aside a number of a worthy opponents on its charge to most absurd / unnecessary iPod dock evar, the iCoral supposedly features a top plate constructed from artificial coral and is proudly decorated with a "very artistic design" (Copulare's words, not ours). 'Round back, you'll find USB, S-Video and stereo analog outputs, but we're simply not seeing the slit in which your currency of choice comes out of at the press of a button. Due to that unfortunate omission, we're suggesting you hold tight to your €1,500 ($2,355) -- unless you're one David Beckham, of course.[Via UberReview]
Trucker blindly follows GPS, gets wedged in farm lane
At first glance, we seriously assumed that we had mentioned this exact same story before. Turns out, one particular Maxi Haulage driver doesn't tune into Engadget, as he pulled the exact same trick in (almost) the same circumstances. Reportedly, this timber haul was cut short as the driver followed his personal GPS system down a "farm lane" suitable only for (presumably small) tractors, and needless to say, the 45-foot vehicle has been wedged ever since. Additionally, the owner of the property is quite irate, as the mishap is forcing her to drive an extra two miles until rescue arrives. Still, the motorist did cruise right by a sign noting that the upcoming road was unfit for heavy goods vehicles, so at least the sat nav can't take all of the blame this go 'round.[Thanks, Carl H.]
Blinger portable ATM isn't at all relevant, handy
Every so often, a gizmo crosses our path that truly makes us question the thought process of its creator(s). This particular Friday, that gizmo is the Blinger. This so-called "portable ATM" apparently enables users to whip out an oversized, one-trick-pony of a device and instantly send cash for wares, check your current level of fundage, calculate currency conversions and wonder why on earth they haven't invented this thing called "online banking." Oh, wait.[Via InventorSpot]
GAMETECH's Sound Shell bulks up your DS Lite, isn't worth the trouble
You know how rough it is -- trying to procure a couple of those Duke Xbox controllers for your man-sized paws. Thankfully, for folks such as yourself, GAMETECH's busting out the Sound Shell, which takes the apparently dangerously small DS Lite and gives it plenty of fat. Besides adding on a pair of sure-to-be-booming speakers to the rear, this thing also provides a nifty storage nook for your earbuds and a totally necessary kickstand. You could blow ¥3,200 ($30) on this, or you could look a whole lot more hip by just picking up a similarly beefy Game Boy and kickin' it old school.[Via DSFanboy, image courtesy of Technabob]
Cellphone criminal dubbed "dumbest" by police
Rest assured, we've seen some brainless criminals in our day, but this one ranks pretty high on the list. Reportedly, a (potentially inebriated) individual waltzed into a police station and frantically announced that his phone had been stolen at gunpoint. When the detective called the number of the phone reportedly stolen, however, a ring was heard from the "victim's" pocket. After pondering what the criminal hoped to gain from the situation, we here at Engadget HQ came up empty, and apparently, the police involved in the situation were equally stumped -- so stumped, in fact, that they issued a statement entitled "Dumbest criminal?" with details of the event in a local newspaper. We'd say that sums it up fairly accurately.[Image courtesy of FOTW, thanks LordFarkward]
Zealot leaps onto subway tracks to retrieve iPhone
At first listen, one may assume that leaping onto subway tracks for an iPhone is completely and utterly insane, and while we'd tend to agree, it's not like we haven't seen folks do similarly zany things in the heat of the moment. Reportedly, a vacationer in New York recently dropped his iPhone down onto the subway tracks while shuttling back home, and after realizing his dear mobile was missing and backtracking quite a ways, his pal finally spotted it down below. As you can probably imagine, the crazed owner leaped down, snagged the scratched up (but still fully functional) device and managed to climb back out unscathed. Granted, we can only imagine how painful it would be to drop even more dough on yet another iPhone when all that stands between you and your current one is a leap of faith, but we'd probably just ask one of those friendly MTA employees to help us out before going mano a mano with the Reaper.[Via Switched]
Cardboard case mod comes ready to ship
Calling that thing pictured above a "case mod" is a near travesty, but we're at a loss for words outside of that. This box is almost devoid of specifications entirely, but judging by the artwork on the "chassis," it's powered by a totally rare Intel Pentium 3 CPU, hums along on Ubuntu and features a curiously placed fan, audio in / out, VGA output, a power supply and lots of fasteners tape. Truth be told, we're not even certain this concoction is capable of processing anything, but at least it's primed for a shipping label should the creator opt to cut his / her losses.[Via Technabob]
Sony places twice in list of business blunders
Given the PS3's precipitous fall from presumed console war winner to a seemingly perpetual runner-up status in domestic and foreign sales, we could probably fill a list of 101 dumb business moments using Sony alone. While Fortune's list of 101 dumb business moments of 2007 isn't so narrowly focused, Sony still manages to show up twice for two separate PR blunders.Fortune gives the 61st position on the list to Sony's over-the-top God of War II launch party and the furor it drew from animal rights groups. Never mind that the reality of the event was much tamer than the media sensationalism -- in public relations, perception quickly becomes reality (In fact, even now Fortune repeats the Sony-denied claim that journalists were invited to "reach inside the still-warm carcass of a freshly slaughtered goat to eat offal from its stomach.")Trailing right behind at No. 63 on the list is the Church of England's vocal objections to the use of Manchester Cathedral in Sony's Resistance: Fall of Man. Again, it doesn't really matter that Sony apologized twice or that the cathedral's use wasn't any worse than that seen in popular movies. Once the story is out there, the PR damage is hard to undo. Dumb, but true.[Via GamesIndustry.biz]
FOX cautions meetings between "cyber gaming" friends
Though I'd like to think that I grew callous to the treatment of MMOs in the mainstream media a long time ago, there's this bitter little flame deep inside me that is stoked every time I read a piece in the newspaper or see a bit on TV that's sensationalist, ill-informed, or just plain stupid. In the latest article to raise my ire, Fox reports on how MMOs create a uniquely unsafe environment, that puts online predators and mentally unstable people at an advantage in stalking their prey. Specifically, they claim that while people tend to have their guard up when surfing other online portals like dating sites or MySpace, people let are more at ease and trusting when it comes to bonding with guildmates, and this leaves them open to exploitation.The article seems to be a reaction to the recent "Baby Grace" case, which really had less to do with the fact that the couple met on World of Warcraft and everything to do with the fact that they were complete sociopaths. While there are some positive stories buried in the article -- including the 40 married couples who made the transition from guildmate to soulmate between Everquest and Anarchy Online, author Catherine Donaldson-Evans just can't rein in the hyperbole, concluding her article by referring to the internet as a modern-day pandora's box. (I can't seem to find the roll-eye emote here...)[Via MMORPG.com]
COLOSSAL MP3 Player stays true to its name
It's quite likely that the COLOSSAL MP3 Player has somehow managed to stay largely hidden from view for some time now, but it is apparently popping up in a number of locations and begging to be purchased as the ultimate tech gag gift. Apparently, these things come in a number of hues, check in at about five to ten times larger than your prototypical DAP and include a USB cable, earphones and 256MB of built-in memory. The humongous units get their juice from four AA cells and can be found at random drug stores (and probably elsewhere) for under $20. Needless to say, this is the stocking stuffer buster you've been looking for.[Thanks, Marcus]
BW-M2404 PMP takes a hint from your average digiframe
We're not quite sure what to make of Best Wisdom Industrial's BW-M2404, which could easily be a diminutive digital photo frame or a fat-bordered PMP depending on how you see it. Nevertheless, the manufacturer claims it's the latter, so we'll stick with that until told otherwise. As for specs, this oddly-shaped device sports a 2.4-inch 320 x 240 resolution LCD, between 512MB and 4GB of internal storage, an SD expansion slot, image / text viewer, a few built-in games, USB 2.0 connectivity, a rechargeable Li-ion and support for MJPEG, FLV, WMV, QVGA, MP3, WMA, DRM, WMA, OGG, WAV, APE and FLAC file formats. You'll also find an FM tuner and an interesting control layout, but unfortunately, we've no idea what this awkward little bugger will actually run you. If intuition isn't leading us astray, we'd say you're better off in the dark.[Via PMPToday]
Hello Kitty gets her own automatic toilet paper dispenser
Sadly, automatic toilet paper dispensers are nothing new to this gadget-crazed world, but the latest from Sanrio puts a bizarre twist on an already zany contraption. The Hello Kitty TP dispenser is gushing with obligatory cuteness and can be programmed to dole out exactly the right amount of paper with each button press; of course, there really should be a couple of buttons to satisfy the whole family, but we digress. The unit reportedly rings up at around $220, which sounds about two bills too high unless you're already devoted to collecting all things adorned with Ms. Kitty. Ah well, at least your Hello Kitty toilet paper won't seem so out of place now, right?
24 in 1994: the "lost pilot"
How did Jack Bauer ever get by without his magical Treo? We figure it must've involved a whole lot more eyeball threatening than he usually manages to cram into a season of 24. Also, according to CollegeHumor's "unaired 1994 pilot" episode, it involved a pager and some really bad early 90's hair. Consider yourself warned, video is after the break.
J. Lo brings latest album to Gresso flash drive
Nah, J. Lo won't go down as the first artist to sell an album via flash drive, but she's certainly raising the bar concerning price. Apparently, Gresso has landed an agreement with Sony BMG Music Entertainment that allows it to distribute Lopez's "Brave" album on the Adam&Eve flash drive, which features 1GB of storage and is crafted from African Mahogany or African Blackwood. Word on the street has this one landing later this month for around $70, and while it's only a supposition, we could definitely see this thing selling better without the musical connection. [Warning: PDF read link][Via Luxist]
GPS leads driver into tight spot, stays wedged for three days
Every few months, we happen upon yet another story involving a motorist who simply believes that their GPS system would never, ever lead them astray. This go 'round, a Czech lorry driver continued down an incredibly narrow lane at the request of his sat nav, and even though his ginormous camion was clearly too large to make it around the 90-degree turn, he threw common sense to the wind and continued onward. Needless to say, his ride ended up wedged so tightly he couldn't reverse his way out, so he decided to set up shop for three whole days rather than calling for "an expensive weekend rescue." Interestingly enough, the fellow managed to acquire food after befriending a couple that lived nearby, and while we're sure he uttered Michael Scott's words in a different tongue, we've little doubt that "the machine knows!" was heard by nearby wildlife shortly before this situation turned sour.
Rocket Phone returns in white, maintains unsightliness
No, your eyes are not deceiving you. Pictured above (and after the break, for the courageous) is the inexplicably ugly Rocket Phone all dressed up in white. We know you want one, but for your own good, just pretend it's not for sale.
PS Audio's prototype CD transport pretends to be cool
There's nothing we love more (okay, that's an exaggeration -- but barely) than blatant overkill, and this here prototype from PS Audio fits that description to a T. Granted, we fully expect audiophiles to blindly stand up for this thing -- even though no one outside of the company has a clue just how incredible (or not) the innards actually are -- but here's the skinny. This not-yet-named CD transport reportedly transfers audio tracks from standard CDs onto internal memory for as long as the disc remains inside; apparently, this design "nullifies any jitter" and "other possible audio degradation." Theoretically sound as this logic may be, we can think of quite a few other ways to listen to music stored on flash memory (or similar) without spending $2,000. Who knows though, maybe that wood is incomprehensibly exotic.
