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WRUP: The stupid benchmark game edition
Final Fantasy XIV released its benchmark this week. To celebrate, I've been playing the benchmark. Specifically, I've been tweaking settings to see how high I can get the score to go without sacrificing any major visual quality. This is stupid at face value, but it's especially stupid when you consider that I ran the benchmark at maximum resolution and settings and got a score that told me, "You're good; you can run the game like this just fine." In other words, I have turned a test program into a crude facsimile of a game in which I see how I can game the test. I say this without pride. Most of us at the Massively offices will be playing actual games rather than whatever stupid nonsense this is, so this week's WRUP is still relevant. Check out our plans past the break, and let us know what you'll be doing down in the comments!
WRUP: Ahh bees edition
Ahh! Ahh, bees! Bees, bees, bees! Get away from there! Bees are over there! Lots of bees! Oh, jeez, bees! How many bees are there? There are lots of bees. I'm scared of bees. Don't let the bees get me! Where did these bees come from! Bees to the left, bees to the right, here I am stuck in the middle, which is slowly filling with bees. I specifically would request no bees if there was a place for that. Bees! Ahh! Bees. Ahh! WRUP! Wait. Wait, that wasn't scary. It's not scary at all. It's just the weekend plans of the Massively staff compiled in list format just past the break. WRUP cannot swarm, nor will it produce delicious honey and pollinate flowers. WRUP is nothing like bees. So enjoy this week's installment, and thank whatever deity you believe in that you're not here surrounded by bees. I'd almost forgotten about the bees. Ahh!
WRUP: Things I am no longer allowed to do in work chat edition
I consider myself to be a professional worker as long as I'm not around my co-workers. As a result, there are certain things that I am no longer allowed to do in the Massively work chat. For example, I am not allowed to make a horrible pun and then immediately play a sound effect from Won't Get Fooled Again. I am not allowed to change the room's title to "Flapjack And His Orchestra." I am not allowed to speak in all caps while talking like what people in 2010 thought street pimps from 1992 sounded like. I am also not allowed to post pictures of my cat attacking My Little Pony figures, make references to Mr. Show, or insist that I be addressed as the master of cheese wheels. A new ban has been added to prevent me from discussing cabinet-making in an obscene manner, but that was really only half my fault. What I am allowed to do is introduce WRUP, which I'm doing right now. Check out our plans past the break, and let us know what you'll be up to in the comments!
WRUP: The strange purgatory of Final Fantasy XIV edition
Lately I've been thinking about Final Fantasy XIV. All right, that's not really unusual, but it hasn't been in my usual capacity of thinking about the game's future. No, I've been thinking that it's been too long since I played the game, that I should log in and level Lancer or Culinarian a bit -- that sort of thing. It's missing a game that's gone, except it's not gone, it's just on pause for the moment. Needless to say, I'm happy that it's February and I'll be getting a chance to jump into the beta soon. You know I'll be rocking a Highlander lady. I realize that some of you may have no idea what in the world half of those terms referred to, so to assuage you, here's a new installment of WRUP, complete with the usual Massively weekend plans. And you can even leave your weekend plans in the comments, too! It's a miracle of science.
WRUP: Not another post about Sagrada Familia edition
Contrary to what you might think, this post really isn't about Sagrada Familia. It's more about the fact that I decided to foolishly purchase a Nanoblocks set attempting to replicate the sight of this massive structure. This was revealed to be an intensely poor decision after about five seconds, for reasons including but not limited to a lack of stability, a poor choice of colors, and decisions about assembly that require a level of manual dexterity that even I don't naturally possess. After several hours of work, the completed project sits on my desk, a reminder that the next time I'm curious about this sort of thing I should just try assembling some LEGO blocks with a set of tweezers. But the mistakes of the week can be overridden by the glories of the weekend, and this week's WRUP is just past the cut. Check out our weekend plans and let us know what you'll be up to over the next two days in the comments.
WRUP: A week off edition
My birthday this year is on Sunday. To celebrate the fact that I am one step closer to feeling the icy hand of death crawling along my spine, I took a week off to stare in mute horror at the trainwreck that I have made of my life over the past 30 years. This will be accomplished largely by completely avoiding introspection and combining sleep, video games, and hard liquor in the proper portions. Also some presents. But enough about my whatever, it's time for WRUP! As always, the Massively staff is out and about playing all manner of video games, and you can find out what games we're playing just past the cut. So take a look and let us know what you'll be up to down in the comments! Especially if you will also be staring in mute horror at something -- possibly your attempts to construct a birdhouse.
WRUP: Zelda Syndrome edition
One of the games that motivated me to buy the Humble THQ Bundle was Darksiders, which I had heard described as basically Legend of Zelda with ultraviolence and Joe Mad. It delivers what it promises, but as a result, I'm in the late game and fighting hard against my Zelda Syndrome. Zelda Syndrome is a condition wherein a player stops playing an action-adventure title after the majority of the game is done, usually with all of the really annoying bosses already dead. All that's left is a dungeon or two and the final boss, but for some reason sufferers simply lose interest and go back to playing something else. I've fought against it with every single Legend of Zelda game and several points related. There is no known treatment. While I raise awareness of this horrible syndrome, you can entertain yourself with this week's installment of WRUP, which outlines the games that the Massively staff will be playing this weekend. You can also let us know what you're playing down in the comments. After doing so, please consider giving money to researchers addressing Zelda Syndrome by purchasing a related title -- possibly Okami.
WRUP: Open PvP edition
Open PvP was first introduced to the world by senior rock engineer Thag, who realized that he could communicate his displeasure with cavemate Thog's activities through more direct means. Over the past several thousand years, the ruleset has been updated and expanded many times, with new rules banning the use of certain abilities outside of designated warzones. These days, for much of the civilized world, PvP is instanced; to enter an instance, queue up at your local military recruitment office. With that out of the way, let's get to this week's WRUP, yes? This features no PvP, instead focusing exclusively on what the Massively staff will be up to over the weekend. Check out our plans in the list past the break, and let us know what you'll be up to in the comments. Or just punch your monitor in displeasure. That's like PvP, although having to replace your monitor afterwards will be an unfortunate consequence.
WRUP: Will you marry me, vicious leopard living outside of my house edition
Leopard, we've had a really strange relationship. I can remember how it started like it was yesterday, mostly because it was. You escaped from the zoo, I tried to get to my car, you nearly gnawed my leg off... at the time, I didn't think anything of it aside from "I need someone to help me; there is a leopard in my yard." But now, as I see you pacing the front lawn licking your chops at the thought of devouring me, I realize that we're meant to be together as a man and a savage jungle cat looking to consume that man for sustenance. So, vicious leopard living outside of my house: Will you marry me? Roar once for yes and twice for yes two times. This week's installment of WRUP is past the cut, complete with our plans for the weekend and the opportunity for you to sound off on your plans in the comments. Be sure to tune in for next week's installment, in which I recover from multiple leopard-induced lacerations and ask to spend some time away from the murderous cat-beast.
WRUP: An open letter to Mr. Claus edition
Dear Mr. Claus (I think it'd be disrespectful to use just your first name, you barely know me), I have been truly awful this year. I could have been worse, probably, but I don't get any awards this time around for good behavior. However, as I hurtle toward my next birthday, I am also at an age where I do not realistically require your services to acquire goods. Pretty much anything I really want I can buy for myself. So here's the deal. First option, you don't bring me presents for being bad and I continue being awful next year, because you no longer provide me with any incentive. Second option, you bring me gifts anyway and I consider being better next year. It's not blackmail, it's just a superior bargaining position. Oh, and if you want, there's the final pre-holiday WRUP just past the break. You can find out what all of the Massively staffers are up to, which might tip the scales into the "naughty" or "nice" category for the year. And you can let us know what you'll be up to in the comments, whether or not it involves making lists and checking them repeatedly.
WRUP: Humble Bundle edition
The Humble Bundle is really cool, but I've never bought it before this year. Somehow, getting a pile of indie games for a smaller payment felt like I was directly ripping someone off. When I saw that THQ did the bundle routine this year, though, I jumped on it. I figured that if I paid the price for the one game I wanted but didn't have when there's one extra game in there I'm curious about, that's fair, right? Except then they added another game that I had wanted. And it turns out that the two games I did want are both excellent. So now I feel like I legally robbed someone. My ethics are strange. Fortunately for you, if you missed out on the bundle, you won't have any ethical quandries to sort out. You can just revel in the fact that it's time for another installment of WRUP, with all of our Massively weekend plans just past the break. And you can let us know what you'll be up to for the weekend in the comments!
WRUP: Fine points of bear worship edition
Anyone who has met me in person knows that I have a vested interest in bears. As a result, I have to say that anyone in a game or out of it worshipping a bear as a fierce and deadly warrior clearly has not grasped what bears represent. Yes, they certainly can be killing machines, but more often they're enormous snurfling piles of fur and fat looking for something sweet. Understand that if the bear is your god, your god's primary interest is finding a beehive and then falling asleep for a week. Not to say this isn't cool. But it's not quite the proud anchor you want for a warrior culture. Much like a beehive, the weekend contains the sweet honey of free time for many of us, and that's why it's time for another installment of WRUP. Check on past the break to see what the Massively staff has planned for the weekend, and let us know in the comments what you'll be up to for the next two days!
WRUP: Valor edition
Some fights cannot be won. Some battles are doomed to failure from the first salvo. But even when no hope for victory remains, you must stand fast. You must raise your head and refuse to bow. You must be a testament to the meaning and the values that you embody, no matter how desperately you wish to give in. If you fail, you fail with your head held high, with dignity and your ideals in place. This is valor. Don't let anyone tell you differently. On a happier note, it's the weekend, and that means it's time for another installment of WRUP. That means a full rundown of our staff plans over the weekend, what games we'll be playing along with our usual meandering about the rationale behind those games. You know, as we do. Check out our plans past the break, and let us know what you're going to be up to down in the comments.
WRUP: Maybe the zombies are on to something edition
Look, I'm not a zombie. I've never really considered myself zombie-curious, either. But now I look at diagrams of brains, and I have to wonder what it is that zombies see that I don't. Maybe there's something to the whole brain-eating thing? They seem happy enough. Sure, they're mindlessly shambling toward living flesh and trying to devour it, but really, am I all that much better for most of the day? I just shamble toward my computer. They've got a much more active lifestyle, is what I'm getting at. Maybe it's a brain thing. Leaving everyone to chew on that for a while, it's time for this week's installment of WRUP, in which the Massively staff relates their weekend plans. Also, today we find out what everyone on staff is thankful for outside of the continued non-existence of a zombie apocalypse. So find our answers past the cut, and let us know what you're up to in the comments.
WRUP: In honor of Javier Placeholder edition
Javier Placeholder was born when the randomize button in City of Heroes failed to generate my new hero but succeeded in generating a stand-in. After filling in for someone who was scheduled to be the victim of a freak nuclear accident, Javier Placeholder was supposed to develop fantastic powers, but instead he got some storm-related powers or something until the kinks of his real powers could be worked out. He's not the hero we need, nor is he the hero we deserve, but he is a hero who will definitely show up until the main guy can get over here. In unrelated news, welcome to this week's WRUP, wherein the Massively staff discusses our weekend plans as well as whether or not we think players expect too much out of free-to-play games. Check our plans past the break, and let us know what you'll be up to in the comments.
WRUP: Partial disaster edition
I'm always amused when something is called a complete disaster. It seems unnecessary to me. If something is a disaster, by definition, that's pretty much all that needs to be said. You don't have partial disasters running around. Localized disasters, sure, but they're still disasters. It's not a proper disaster otherwise. As a result, I think we really need some more incomplete disasters. You know, a disaster that gets up to good, solid disaster levels and then just sort of loses interest partway through. Maybe a hurricane that just gives up and sits five miles off of the coast until it dissipates. I harbor no illusions about removing the concept of a complete disaster, but I'd like some contrast. This installment of WRUP is not a disaster, complete or incomplete. It's actually a column in which the Massively staff members explains their weekend plans, and this week it's also a spot for us to sound off about one-time events. You can also let us know what you're up to in the comments, although you can't let us know whether your plans were a disaster until after the fact.
WRUP: Front row at the zamboni championships edition
Yes, it's Massively's anniversary, and... wait, what? Darn it, that header was supposed to read "Front row at the Massively anniversary celebration and zamboni championships." Well, at least we can... oh, wait, apparently the zamboni drivers already started. They weren't supposed to go on until after we'd done our thing for the anniversary. I mean, I'd say something to them, but they've already started. Driving a zamboni is hard work. I think. I've never actually driven a zamboni. Maybe if we're really nice to them they'll let us play around on the zambonis afterwards. Only we shouldn't say it like that, because then they'll think that we think zambonis are just toys. That's insulting to them and us. Look, let's just move on to WRUP for the moment. There we can all talk about our favorite memories from Massively's five years, and also discuss what we here at the Massively staff will be playing over the weekend. Once the zambonis are done, we can do the full anniversary thing. What does a zamboni championship actually entail, anyway?
WRUP: Turn into a duck edition
Those of you who read my bizarre introductions to articles have done very well. You have learned almost all of what I have to teach you. Now, as your final test, you have to turn into a duck. Just... you know, go over into the corner and turn into a duck. Then you will be ready to learn the secret of making electric guitar sounds with nothing more than a drinking glass and a nasal congestion problem. Wait, that's not what you were here for? Oh. You probably were just looking for WRUP, which is where the Massively staff talks about what they're planning for the weekend. Also, this week we talk about our most hated zones. Yeah, that's much more interesting to those of you not interested in the duck thing, you can just jump on past the break and share your weekend plans in the comments. The rest of you, though, had better be making with the duck transformations pronto.
WRUP: You don't like that, that's dumb edition
Oh, reading a book? What are you reading? No, you're not reading that. That's dumb. It's a stupid book because I don't like it, and if I don't like it, it's not cool. Since you're also cool, you must not like it. Here, read this instead. It's super awesome and I like it. What do you mean I gave you the first book and told you it was awesome and you should read it? You're probably just delusional because you were reading something I think is dumb. That must be it. Look, let's just read WRUP. That's pretty cool if you like seeing what the Massively staff is up to over the weekend and whether or not we like using premade builds in games. Plus, then you can let the staff know what you'll be up to over the weekend in the comments. You can like that. At least until I don't like it any more.
WRUP: Context edition
You are a primate that, due to several freak mutations, has developed an overly large brain capable of handling abstract thought. You live on a ball of dirt and water that hurtles through an empty and uncaring void with only a thin layer of breathable gas to prevent your complete and utter annihilation. Every single action you undertake is the result of having a brain capable of abstract thinking that is still governed by the basic instincts that were relevant when your ancestors were foraging for grubs. It's important to put everything into context, so there you go. Now that that's out of the way, we hope you enjoy this week's installment of WRUP! It's the Massively staff's rundown of our weekend plans. We also discuss how much gaming time we get on average, which seems to be a pretty solid average. Take a look past the jump, and let us know what your plans are down in the comments. Keeping context in mind, of course.
