Verb For Shoe? How about a noun: Hype

Verb For Shoe

This holiday season you've finally got a gift to give the person who has everything. We mean everything—because they're probably not stupid enough to drop a thou (US, of course) on the new Verb For Shoe, the "physics defying" shoe from MIT spinoff company VectraSense. Though they won't explain how it defies physics (nor do they give actual non-CG product shots) it does supposedly wirelessly communicate to your computer and to other shoes (for inter-shoe e-business cards exchange), have adjustable air bladders, and a performance/health monitoring system (not yours, the shoes'! Don't you know your Verb For Shoe's health is more important?) Look, in all seriousness for a moment—we feel we must say this as sort of a public service announcement—MIT spinoff or not, if you buy this shoe we're totally disowning you.

[Thanks, Max]