Now, please rid your mind of your Asian-robot-sex-fantasy filth as we're going to talk about children. No, not the sweet, doe-eyed children of Disney fiction, but those seething candy-grubbing monsters we must deceive into obedience with our obey-or-else bunco (coal in stocking, Teddy is watching you, mommy won't love you anymore). Seems the Roomba is not only an effective cleaning agent, but according to Wired Magazine's Chris Anderson, is also an effective robotic "child herder" simultaneously coaxing children to clean while sapping them of their wakeful vigour. This is an important revelation for us since the average age of the Engadget intern is 6 and a half – old enough to write in simple sentences but not old enough to sass us in a hurtful way. Hmmm, come to think of it, maybe those pink Roombas are actually cleverly disguised parental surrogates? Harry Harlow, where are you now?