Roomba robot love me

Now, please rid your mind of your Asian-robot-sex-fantasy filth as we're going to talk about children. No, not the sweet, doe-eyed children of Disney fiction, but those seething candy-grubbing monsters we must deceive into obedience with our obey-or-else bunco (coal in stocking, Teddy is watching you, mommy won't love you anymore). Seems the Roomba is not only an effective cleaning agent, but according to Wired Magazine's Chris Anderson, is also an effective robotic "child herder" simultaneously coaxing children to clean while sapping them of their wakeful vigour. This is an important revelation for us since the average age of the Engadget intern is 6 and a half – old enough to write in simple sentences but not old enough to sass us in a hurtful way. Hmmm, come to think of it, maybe those pink Roombas are actually cleverly disguised parental surrogates? Harry Harlow, where are you now?

[DannyMac @ Dec 19th 2005 2:05AM]

The Woomba: It cleans your business!

Gotta love Saturday Night Live...

[Justin @ Dec 19th 2005 2:05AM]

I was thinking about getting one of these. They seem pretty cool.

I can't stand vacuuming!

[OddManOut @ Dec 19th 2005 2:05AM]

"...actually cleverly disguised parental surrogates?"

I think they've got it backwards. This thing might be a good alternative to HAVING CHILDEREN, not to parenting them. Think of the advantages...

- It doesn't make a mess (in fact it cleans them up)
- It doesn't need food, it eats garbage and minute amounts of electricity.
- It can be stowed in a closet for days or weeks at a time...WITHOUT involving Child Protective Services.
- It is noisy, but predictably so.
- It may be pink at conception, but if you find it's look distasteful you can paint it or adorn it with decals to suit yourself. 'Fugly' kids are much harder to fix...
- It does not require a $100,000 college education to be capable of meaningfull work. Shoot the most it will probably ever need is a firmware upgrade.
- It will never walk in on you while you are contemplating or even actively engaging in filthy 'Asian-robot-sex', and if it did...it wouldn't care, be traumatized in the least, or talk about it during the next family get together.

(And if 'Asian-robot-sex' is how you get down, this thing is probably as close as you're ever going to get to having a child anyway.)

Just some things to consider during 'Family Planning' :)

[Petrica @ Dec 19th 2005 2:05AM]

It may be red at conception, but if you find it's look distasteful you can paint it or adorn it with decals to suit yourself. 'The kids are much harder to fix.

[Tom Robinson @ Dec 19th 2005 2:05AM]

Those things are creepy