Christmas toy noises are/aren't dangerous

Now that nearly all links between cellphones and cancer have been demolished, thanks to that pesky thing called "science," fear-mongers have been scrambling for another issue to sink their teeth into. But have no fear, we're sure they'll think of something. In fact, it looks like they already have: the hot new "OMG we're all going to die!" issue this holiday season is noisy Christmas toys. We're not even joshing. Apparently in a study done by the Deafness Research UK in conjunction with Dr. Brad Backus of University College London, 14 out of 15 toys tested produced noise levels above the recommended safety limit when held close to the ear. 8 of the 15 were just fine during normal use, but the three worst offenders -- a machine gun, a tommy gun and a cap gun -- are on the "avoid" list. So Bobby can't have a machine gun for Christmas, what else? Dr. Brad say: "Our advice is pretty simple: don't let your child hold noisy toys too close to their ear and don't let them play with them for more than an hour a day. Most parents probably don't want to listen to these toys for too long anyway!" Oh, is that all, we're sure Bobby will understand completely. After all, it's for the children!

[michael leimon @ Dec 12th 2006 12:34AM]

how horrible, kids are all about busting caps... in stuff

[JRA219psu @ Dec 12th 2006 12:38AM]

"WHAT?? I CANT HEAR YOU!!!"

[Porkchop Flavored Cupcake @ Dec 12th 2006 12:40AM]

I take vitamins, I've got strong ears, strong eyes, strong mind.
Bring on the dbA, it will get crushed.

[Johan @ Dec 12th 2006 12:47AM]

"NINTENDO SIXTY-FOOOOOOUUUUUURRRRRRRR!"

I can see that being made into one of those quote toys...

[Skyler @ Dec 12th 2006 1:55AM]

Haha: Nintendo 64 Kid "In yo' pocket!"

[Brennan @ Dec 12th 2006 12:52AM]

OMG!!!! A NINTENDO 64!!!!

lol never gets tiring to watch.

Wii n PS3 will be the top toys this Christmas, a lot of noise, flying Wii remotes, hope parents dont restrict these systems for an hour of playtime, because that would suck for all the kiddies wanting to frag with so much violence against other players.

lucky my parents rnt like that, i have a Wii n Wii only.

u know ive only played Banjo Kazooie n Mario Kart 64 on N46, so played only twice ever since it came out, how sad of me......

[Theron @ Dec 12th 2006 12:54AM]

Oh gee dam, we cant give our kids plastic versions of the worst products on this planet! haha, oh look martha, little timmy is shooting sammie in the head, hahahaha. the problem isnt friggin computer games, it toy weapoins, we give kids guns that look mind bogelingly real, and then are amazed when they pick up a real one and shoot each other. hmmm, didnt see that one comming did ya?

On topic however, Obviously something that is designed to be heard from 1/2m is gonna be loud when you put it next your head! thats physics :P
ah you gotta love the fear mongers. Hey look kids, theres a terrorist in the sink, or was that a comunist :P

[Brian @ Dec 12th 2006 1:05AM]

Back in the day, we had toys that blew our ear drums, shot our eyes out; and we liked it! The kids today are just sissys.

[Deluxe @ Dec 12th 2006 1:32AM]

pogo-stilts!

[Googenheim @ Dec 12th 2006 2:20AM]

Did any of you guys catch the BMW commercial that aired last night starring none other than "The N64 kid"? They used the original video footage, but changed the image on the N64 box to a picture of a robot and put their own spin on it to promote BMW. Go to youtube and type "N64 kid BMW" and it should show up.

[Martin Carlsson @ Dec 12th 2006 2:21AM]

Old! :)

[Ransom @ Dec 12th 2006 2:56AM]

uh oh people, did we forget about megaphones??? if you held a noisy toy up to a megaphone, and put your ear up to that, it would be unhealthily loud.

better warn the populace about this one...

also if you throw a toy hard enough, it could hurt someone!! this is something else to warn people about...

[http:newtechreviews.blogspot.com @ Dec 12th 2006 3:13AM]

Just get them a twig, i'm sure they'll LOVE IT for christmas!...it's not dangerous, it makes no sudden movements, and no noises...Just tell them "Don't Hold it up to their ear!" I mean really, if you try hard enough you can make ANYTHING out to be dangerous...

check it!
http://newtechreviews.blogspot.com

[John Shillabeer @ Dec 12th 2006 3:42AM]

Wow. There's now yet another way for the Wii to be harmful.

[Joe @ Dec 12th 2006 3:46AM]

I think the study means that giving toys to kids may cause them to scream loudly and jump around, causing burst eardrums and possible falls, a la Nintendo 64 Kid.

[Rynth @ Dec 12th 2006 4:13AM]

On a completly different subject, waffle are now dangerous missiles, and should be banned from all stores....

moving on, Wtf? you being serious? What about all the years Kid's have had personal walkmans , tape players etc, and had them on full blast... come to think of it, thats all i ever had mine on , full blast or nothing.. and there aint no wrong with my ear's....

I might just take a trip to A+E this xmas, and see how many Wii related injuries there.. I'm sadistic like that.

[Oobitsa @ Dec 12th 2006 6:10AM]

I can't even begin to tell you how much I that BMW ad. That screaming greedy little kid really needs to be gagged and bound.

[jesusfreak @ Dec 12th 2006 7:16AM]

i guess when you look back on things you realize how you gave so much importance to a stupid object...nut i loved the BMW ad..they literally put their own 'spin' on it :P

[Matt B @ Dec 12th 2006 9:42AM]

How are kids ever going to learn if they can't hurt themselves?

[codywatson @ Dec 12th 2006 10:56AM]

Merck should definitely create a product that disables all ear functions until a person turns 18. This way, we can protect our children's hearing as long as possible without legal ramifications! YAY!

[bliz @ Dec 12th 2006 4:04PM]

Nintendo Sixty-FOOOOOOOOOOUR
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFlcqWQVVuU

[B*lldog @ Dec 12th 2006 4:13PM]

That's right I always hold a cap gun in my ear - twats! What are these charities spend their donations on??? Am I going to get a health warning from the nurse advising me to keep my new born kid away from my ear when she gives him to me to hold? Society you really have got too bored for your own good to come up with this drivvel!