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Baby Pals creeps the hell out of us

We presume we are supposed to find Crave's new baby-caring sim Baby Pals somehow entrancing, perhaps even -- shudder -- adorable. So why can't we stop thinking about that scene from Trainspotting whenever we see these screens? Angular, polygonal babies, eyes as dead as the night, somehow not ... quite ... right.

If you haven't already guessed, Baby Pals gives players the opportunity to raise a sprog by taking care of the little one's every need. So you get to feed and dress your weird-looking virtual child, teach it how to talk, crawl and walk, and even play games with it, such as peek-a-boo and patty cake.

Even more frightening than all of that is the thought that this, along with Ubisoft's Imagine Babyz, could sell a significant number of copies to pre-pubescent female DS owners. This saddens us. At best, Baby Pals and its kind are vaguely patronising. At worst, they're derivative, lazy examples of gender stereotyping. With damn creepy babies.

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