Celebrity patents unearthed

We've been a little bummed that since Google's launch of its Patent search engine we haven't had the time to pore over it yet, but thankfully not everyone is preparing for CES. Ironic Sans unearthed no less than 18 bizarre and unusual celebrity patents by entertainment A-lisers not normally renowned for following in the footsteps of Dean Kamen. Obviously our pick for favorite was Eddie Van Halen's "musical instrument support" which makes two handed shredding that much easier (really though, did the patent drawing need to be shirtless too?), although other curiosities include Hedy Lamar's "secret communication system", Jamie Lee Curtis's "infant garment" diaper design, Lawrence Welk's "Welk ash tray", Goerge Lucas's patent on a demonic Yoda toy figure design, Penn Jillette's sexually jilted "hydro-therapeutic stimulator" hot tub (what? possibly NSFW), and perhaps the mostly slyly odd, Michael Jackson's "Method and means for creating anti-gravity illusion". We highly recommend perusing these patents -- much is to be gained from peering into the minds of the world's greatest celebrity / inventors, whose creations may one day truly touch the lives of the everyman.

[Trev @ Jan 4th 2007 12:57PM]

Hedy Lamarr's "secret communication system" wasn't a curiousity. She co-invented Spread Spectrum communications

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spread_spectrum

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedy_Lamar

[Bill Butler @ Jan 7th 2007 10:48PM]

The Hedy Lamar patent has had wide-ranging implications for the wireless trends that we are seeing today. In, particular, a tiny company in Canada called Wi-LAN purchased her patent portfolio and has gone on to be the primary patent holder for OFDM, the key technology in 802.11g and the upcoming WiMAX 802.16a. Wi-LAN at this point is poised to be the Qualcomm of the wireless explosion. WIN.TO and WILIF (foreign trading symbol).

[KC @ Jan 4th 2007 1:08PM]

That's a pretty cool idea about the diaper from Jamie Lee Curtis.

[AaronC @ Jan 4th 2007 1:35PM]

I was just about to post what Trev did. She was ahead of her time on this one.

[saq @ Jan 4th 2007 1:45PM]

I wouldn't mind having one of those jacuzzis.

[Simon Tooke @ Jan 4th 2007 1:48PM]

Ahh, yes, the famous "Jill-Jet" patent. I think Penn's pretty proud of that, but it seems like there's got to be prior art - it seems like obvious use of existing technology.

[waldo15 @ Jan 4th 2007 1:57PM]

Dude, Hedy Lamarr is not a curiosity, she was indeed the co-creator of what now is known as Spread Spectrum. Is thanks to her (indirectly at least) that we now have WiFi and 3G data networks.

And I knew in my gut that Wacko did not have those crazy moonwalker superpowers! It was all in the shoes... oh he got me right there :)

[GTG @ Jan 5th 2007 10:09AM]

To those of us over 60 this was of importance because of it's use for encrypted military communications during WWII. The application for entertainment was later recognised and expanded. Not ahead of her time but very timely and immediatly recognised as useable when presented to Washington.

[John @ Jan 4th 2007 1:57PM]

Sheesh! It doesn't work if you're not shirtless, I thought EVERYBODY knew that! I believe the poofy mullet is also required.

[TwoScoopsofPig @ Jan 4th 2007 2:15PM]

Who the hell is Goerge Lucas? Sounds like a Polish half-brother to Skywalker Ranch's fave resident...

[EatingPie @ Jan 4th 2007 2:52PM]

I've seen the Van Halen invention in action. Works exactly as described (and pictured), utilized extensively in Eddie Van Halen's guitar solos, allowing him to "pick" with both fingers.

It seemed like such an obvious thing -- though that may be because Eddie Van Halen just made it look natural. Glad he owns the patent. Very talented man. Did a lot to completely change the sound of electric guitar in the '80s and beyond.

-Pie

[rainking187 @ Jan 4th 2007 3:50PM]

Wait, so there's a patent for Star Wars merchandise that they haven't made yet? That's surprising.

[Farris @ Jan 4th 2007 4:37PM]

I think you missed a letter: A-lisTers**

[morcheeba @ Jan 4th 2007 5:10PM]

I think EVH has the best drawing of a person I've ever seen in a patent!

It's interesting to note the Design Patents vs. the regular patents. The ash tray and the yoda figure protect the design from copy-cats, but aren't the typical technical-innovation patents.

[CM @ Jan 4th 2007 6:51PM]

The Hedy Lamarr (aka. Hedy Kiesler Markey)/George Antheil patent linked in the article IS the patented technology that is said to be the precursor to modern spread spectrum (frequency hopping) communications.

The idea is that by using a constantly changing carrier frequency, a radio signal is both undetectable and hard to jam as well (by any gear that operates on a fixed frequency). (Not covered in the patent is a means for keeping the transmitter and receiver in perfect synch. This would have to wait for the phase-locked loop.)

[Frank @ Jan 5th 2007 10:02AM]

Tom Cruise patented a couch that offers more bounce to the jump.

[Tracey @ Jan 5th 2007 1:23PM]

They forgot Quinn Cummings, who played Lucy McFadden (the 10-year-old girl) in "The Goodbye Girl." She invented and patented an infant sling.

http://www.google.com/patents?vid=USPAT6595396

[Z @ Jan 5th 2007 8:07PM]

That drawing... isn't that Nigel Tufnel?

[USMC BEANS @ Jan 17th 2007 1:08AM]

Hedley!