For those who haven't yet experienced complete mental meltdown and are still capable of reading English sentences, Bungie's website now hosts an update regarding this morning's spectacular non-arrival of the Halo 3 Beta designated for Crackdown owners. Frankie reports that a solution has been found and is currently undergoing testing. "Assuming the test pass goes according to plan, the fix will come in the form of a Crackdown title update within the next three to six hours." At the latest, it means you can turn your Xbox 360 (and your website, if you're Major Nelson) back on at about 12:30AM EST.
The Bungie man also apologizes for the inconvenience and hopes that the extreme emotional duress you've suffered will become "distant memory once you pick up the Spartan Laser, launch yourself from a Mancannon and enjoy online shenanigans with your friends."
(A note of warning: If your friend, Bruce Banner, invited you to play Halo 3 at his house tonight... don't go.)