Poll: Jobs and Gates sit down in an alternate reality
By Ryan Block 
posted Jun 1st 2007 12:37PM
posted Jun 1st 2007 12:37PM
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this is an awesome poll! haha
Gates asks Jobs where to get black turtlenecks on the cheap.
I prefer the alternate reality where they gaze into each other's eyes profess their adoration for each other then proceed to make sweet-sweet love... Oh wait that did happen.
Exactly! I thought they were going to make out or something! Especially after Jobs said the Beatles line to Gates. Oh, man, my heart just melted into one big pool of red wine and chocolate!
For some reason I seem to be taking a really strong dislike to Jobs recently and this interview only ended up making me dislike him further.
I mean, the whole setup had a very 'demilitarized zone/neutral territory' feel to it, and it looked like we were going to get some insights into the past/present/future of computing from two guys who have been instrumental in making it what it is today. Instead Jobs kept mentioning iPhone features at evey opportunity. (the iPhone looks like a great product -- but this was not the place to promote it). He really lacked class in that department.
The other thing that annoyed me about Jobs was his response to the PC vs. Mac ads. I hate negative advertising of any kind so these ads have always bugged me. Might have been a tad funny at first, but after that they have just been one cheap shot after the other. So Jobs talking about "PC guy is what makes it work" really seems a bit fake. I suppose he didn't have a lot of options at that point though -- they were pretending to be best buddies, and the ads are already out there.
Oh, and finally -- his response to the question about giving stuff back to the world. I mean seriously -- according to Forbes latest lists, Gates has 56 billion dollars and Jobs has 5.7 billion. Which is a tenth of what Gates has, but it's still a completely ridiculous sum of money. I don't think its unreasonable to expect him to speak out in favor of some causes or make some charitable contributions. In his defense, of course, he could be doing such things anonymously. Or he might be putting it off to a future date. I sincerely hope this is the case..
Jobs attacks gates with an iphone, gates fights back with a surface. ouch... computer/table to the head.
For some reason seeing the 2 of them together like that... I can't help but think of the Wolfmother song "The Joker and the Theif".
They both sit like women.
It's not that they're sitting like women, they're trying to protect their nads from any sudden jabs.
I would prefer to see Steve Ballmer wrestle Eric Schmidt in a pool full of jello, in an electrified cage, floating on a raft in the Pacific Ocean...
or maybe a rap battle
Stallman, Torvalds, and Shuttleworth come out with baseball bats and kick some ass.
But Ballmer and his crew are around the corner with dead mozdevs ready to be thrown.
No no no...all wrong....u need to add:
Opera musica begins....Jobs and Bill pull out lightsabers...battle to the finish.
I guess to some an alternate reality is where two adults sit down and talk pleasantly. Yeah, I could see that.
Come on Linus! Don't let us down!
Get on stage and bring your soap box so you can release some ofyour gospel
You are mixing Linus up with Stallman. Linus is very pragmatic and straightforward. I've yet to hear him really make statements about "freedom," just technical merit. Stallman is the idealist, it's all he does.
Two words: Dance Off!
Are those the new "it" chairs?
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! ...
Gates announces that the technology behind Microsoft Surface is the same used in the iPhone.
LOL.. look at their body language.. they don't sit "like women", but the legs say "I wish I were somewhere else, or at least with somebody else"
Gates announces Microsoft will be going out of business in six months, all software and intellectual property has already been signed over to Apple.
Jobs announces he's already, in turn, signed it all over to Linus along with everything Apple owns.
Linus rushes to the stage, declares everything either company has ever made to be free forever, and announces his candidacy for President in '08.
If you look on the iphone, it seems as though there is an uneven number of widgets. There seems to be one missing at the bottom right hand corner.
Alternate reality: Jobs and Gates reveal the missing widget, it looks like a microsoft icon! Wait a minute. Now they are about to drop the bomb. Here it comes
Fill in the blank_______________! The crowd goes wild. Everyone comes to their feet and rush the stage.
Jobs chuckles at Gates' last joke and absentmindedly places his glass of aged bourbon whiskey on the coffee table between them. As he does, he notices that the coffee table is not a coffee table. It's a Surface PC. Consumed in a flash of rage that this "neutral" arena has been tainted by Microsoft technology, Jobs spits on the floor, throws his whiskey in Gates' face and storms out.
The Surface automatically charges his credit card for the drink.
C'mon. We all wanted to see the I'm a Mac routine. It wouldn't have been degrading it would have been momentous. Definitely number one on YouTube.
What a stupid post! These guys are my childhood heroes (despite being a mac fan) and I was just teary eyed watching it. What happened was exactly what I expected.
Now if it was Jobs and Balmer I'd have gone for a everybody at D5 unites to kill Balmer and then they party all night version.
Jobs and Gates, I just love'em!
I am a dirty fucking spammer: rbuccicone@gmail.com
If you look at the top of the Surface, it looks like an iPhone.
SImply because it is touchscreen with multi-touch dosen't signify that it is a copy of the iphone. Multi-touch is an age-old technology, formerly applied to large surface areas,such as walls and other "surfaces". Apple and MS have done nothing new with these products but add some glitz by making them more asthetically pleasing. The fundamental hardwrae/software is the same everywhere.
If you say that the surface of the MS surface looks like an iphone, then I can also say that my tablet pc or my desktop with a bitmap screen looks like an iphone. What sets the iphone and MS surafce apart are the sizes; it is much harder to make larger multi-touch devices. Though I applaud both for introducing this technology to the consumer market, it is by no means a new, patented, technology.
Say wha?
I said the Surface looks like an iPhone. That doesn't mean I meant that Microsoft copied Apple with multi-touch. Did I mention anywhere about multi-touch? No, I mentioned that it looks like an iPhone... which you can also touch. I'm not implying M$ stole multi-touch, I'm saying it looks like an iPhone.
Capiche?
If you look at the top of Alex Cormier, it looks like a fanboy.
Gates comes out with a webcam taped to his head... That would be the greatest moment in the history of the world!
Let the Slash Fiction begin...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slash_fiction
i always had a strange feeling that they would explode in a nuclear bomb if they make contact
Where's Stephen Hawkings microphone and tray table computer? Oh wait, that's Bill Gates. Sorry.
Jobs: "No, Bill, I won't be using your stupid slow mofu Vista OS on the next gen Macbooks."