This story isn't for the faint of heart. In fact, we wouldn't really recommend it for anybody, but we'll soldier on regardless. Thomas Martel hails from Colorado, and after upgrading to an
iPhone, he decided his big hands were just too much of a burden to bear. "From my old Treo, to my Blackberry, to this new iPhone, I had a hard time hitting the right buttons, and I always lost those little styluses," says Martel. So what's a man to do? Why, get those digits downsized, of course. Thomas went under the knife for a new technique called "whittling." The doctors made a small cut in each thumb and shaved down the bones, then they adjusted the muscles and fingernails to fit the new thumb size. Martel's new thumbs look a tad effeminate, and there's always that problem of expense and general discomfort, but he thinks the procedure "will pay for itself in ten to fifteen years. And what it's saving me in frustration - that's priceless." Whatever you say, Thomas.
Update: InformationWeek is
reporting this story as false. North Denver News hasn't pulled it yet, but given the far-fetched nature, we're certainly having doubts of its authenticity. Either way, we don't recommend you running out and getting your thumbs whittled any time soon.
Update 2: We called North Denver News, still no response, we'll keep you posted.
Update 3: North Denver News finally
confirmed the story as a hoax. "Satirical social commentary," as they put it.
[Thanks to everyone who sent this in]
posted Aug 10th 2007 6:38PM
I love the simpsons reference in the picture.
Signs you have an addiction to your portable device:
#1: When you have your thumbs altered to accommodate the keyboard of the device
This is getting unreal, first the zune tatoo guy, now this
same guy?
Next story: Man jumps off bridge to win iPhone bet.
How stupid are people these days to go that far for something so....unremarkable?
Hey, man. I actually had a friend do that for an iPod. Although he was using a bungee cord.
I thought they gave people psych evaluations to prevent people from doing senseless things like this?
Wow, what a winner. This makes the guy with the BSOD tattooed on his arm look cool
Actually, this "mod" has some use. The BSOD tattoo has absolutely no use, except to say that the guy who got the tattoo is an idiot.
Wow. I can't believe you went there lol.
simply weird.
http://www.informationweek.com/blog/main/archives/2007/08/thumbs_surgical.html
orly
I dunno what's worse, that someone could cook up a story like this or that people (myself included) believed it.
I guess in our society it isn't hard to believe someone would go and do something like this, but it is a little sad we've come to the point where we'll believe a story like this.
I'll be the first to call BS. It's a hoax
Actually I think you're like the third. Sweetsourpork offered the proof.
I call B.S. without pictures.
O RLY?! The phone's been out less than two months, and he's already had surgery and healed from it? Hmmm... unlikely. I'd expect observations of the "after" hands to mention scars and discoloration and the healing process. There's no online info for the patient of doctor mentioned by name in the article. Who's zooming who, here? Maybe somebody at North Denver News is writing an article on the gullibility of Apple fanbois?
That guy should also reduce the size of his head so that it fits more snuggly around his pea-sized brain.
Actually... I know a few guys who have had their hands altered for things that aren't even as much fun as the iPhone. I believe the procedure is known as "Marriage" where a small circular device is affixed to the male's hand thereby removing most, if not all fun from his life in return for sex with the same woman until death do them part. Luckily, the process can be reversed, and a restore point can be reached where the man can have fun again and hang out with his buddies, although its a pretty expensive procedure. The few who've paid for it say its worth it though. ;)
BEST.COMMENT.EVER.
LMAO... awesome
Man, this story is as fake as my love life!
So the keyboard function only works in 'portrait' mode? If you tilt the iPhone on its side, will the keyboard increase in size?
I guess it would suck if ten years from now speech recognition is so good that it replaces the keyboard.
I wanna flip this guy my surgically enhanced bird...
Likely a hoax.
http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/
This guy makes the guy with the BSOD tattoo seem almost normal
Well lets be fair, the guys talking about all devices with small buttons, he even mentioned a few, his current phone just happens to be the iPhone so all the tech sites are reporting it as an iPhone story
Something tells me he could have just paid Apple to make a special slightly-larger iPhone and spent less and lost a helluvalot less.
Enjoy your thumbpad thumbs, you senseless maniac. Inbreeding is BAD.
This guy is the perfect Apple drone. He has trouble with the keys, so, instead of assuming there's a design flaw in the device, he assumes there's a design flaw in his hands. Incredible.
I'm about 3 months from graduating MB ChB (MD for you guys stateside). You don't have muscles in your fingers, for starters, let alone the 10 other things wrong with this. (Fine movements are controlled by the lumbrical and interosseus muscles in your palm, and gross movements by the flexor and extensor compartments in your forearm). HOAX. No (ethical) doctor would even do this.
iThumb
Engullible?
it's called a frigg'n laptop. Or a Bluetooth keyboard. DAM!
dear sir,
you are a sick bastard.
that is all.
Pics or it didn't happen.
"While Martel's new thumbs now appear small and effeminate in comparison to his otherwise very large hands, he says he can still lift "pretty much anything I could lift before the surgery"
Let's face it, Apple's core user base are freaks, members of self-proclaimed sexual minorities from "furries" to BDSM. Your typical Mac user has too many piercings, self-inflicted scarification, and too many tatoos.
Making your thumbs look "effeminate" is a minor next step for your typical Apple user.
"Let's face it, Apple haters are freaks, who spend time looking at pictures and movies of children and animals being raped and tortured. Your typical Mac hater has too few brain cels left, self-inflicted mutilation, and has absolutely no life."
riiiiiiiight....
your comment could have been funny if there was some irony, but passionate and irational mac/pc war is getting borring.
I'd love to make a really clever joke(As I, get this, love to do) but this is just, so sad, funny, but, sad.
I thought apple users were supposed to be smart.
I repeat - there's something horribly broken about the mind of most Apple product users... It just.. does something bad to them.
I think we need to ban them - or find a cure RDF or something. This is just disturbing.
Man I know typing on the iphone calls for a great bit of dexterity, from personal experience, but this guy went too far
I didn't believe this for one second. I can't believe engadget ran this without checking some sources first. Maybe IW should get its act together also.
I can taste the stupidity.
Give me a break! You guys seriously posted this hoax?
That'd be great if it was a hoax.
'Cause I mean I had a Mike Gravel moment there, staring incomprehensibly at the this post as if the world around me didn't exist.
"The procedure 'will pay for itself in ten to fifteen years'"
In ten to fifteen years the iPhone will be nonexistent, so... No.
@Ash: Didn't Marilyn Manson do that, or am I mistaken? BTW, David, that marriage comment was pure gold
I don't believe this.
Better, stronger, faster - iFinger
I give this man two (unaltered) thumbs up for the effort!
I don't know in which category to put this...
In the ridiculous or in the sick section...
Engadget Taken Again! Sources, Anyone? http://blogs.business2.com/apple/2007/08/hoax-alert-ipho.html
well....I think it paying for itself in 10-15 years is absurd, the technology will be so different then, probably speech operated (which WE ALREADY have....this guy just spent probably the worst money of his life. And I actually don't believe a word of this, seems like a hoax to me....But Engadgt, you never let me down, so It's really probably not a hox, but very ridiculous....What a Moron!
Faslane
have any of you considered how large some peoples fingers and thumbs are ? mine are large enuf they casue me alot of problems when using mobile devices.....
http://northdenvernews.com/content/view/925/2/
They have admitted it was a humor piece. My god, some people will believe anything!
Humor piece requires it to actually be funny.
YHBT. HAND.
That's why these thumb button technologies are so unhelpful. It's the just the regular cellphone buttons in another form. I use Kyocera 7135 and Palm Pilot's Graffiti technology is far superior - few of my cellphone carrying friends can match the speed and quality of text messages I send out. iPhone hasn't pushed the boundaries of text entering interface at all.
I thought it was microsoft's thing to get there costermers to upgrade their hardware before they could use there devices.
Oh no, the kool-aid drinkers of the Cult of Apple aren't nuts or anything...
why not try this sleek innovative product?:
http://www.thylus.com/
They should have pulled a Dan Rather: "Well, the original story might be a hoax, but it's basically correct."