CE-Oh no he didn't! Part L: Ballmer says Android "just some words on paper"

You can't help but love Steve Ballmer. Besides being the ultra-rich, ultra-faithful CEO of Microsoft, you can always count on him to deliver some choice words -- especially if the competition is in the news. His latest efforts come in the wake of Google's Android announcement, a project which clearly stands to compete with Redmond's ubiquitous Windows Mobile platform. When asked what he thought of the forthcoming phone OS at a news conference in Tokyo, Ballmer noted that, "Their efforts are just some words on paper right now." Okay, let's be perfectly honest: that statement is true -- but don't you think that when a monolithic company like Google aligns itself with other giants such as Intel, T-Mobile, Samsung, and LG (amongst others), Microsoft might take it a little more seriously? Ballmer went on to say that, "They have a press release, we have many, many millions of customers, great software, many hardware devices and they're welcome in our world." Thanks for allowing Google into "your world" Steve, we're sure your subjects will appreciate it.

[snowglyder @ Nov 8th 2007 12:45PM]

How come every time I see that picture, my fist clinches?

[Forrest @ Nov 8th 2007 2:26PM]

How come every time I see that picture, my butt clenches? Get away from me with that thing, Steve!

[rock99rock @ Nov 8th 2007 12:48PM]

I was just about to comment on that also. It doesn't matter how many times I've seen it, it's still as disturbing as viewing for the first time.

[KR @ Nov 8th 2007 1:20PM]

Yes, can we plleeaaassee retire that picture? Engadget, you guys don't want me to wretch at work do you? I can't stand looking at Ballmer's ugly mug.

[Paul @ Nov 8th 2007 1:12PM]

I think it's the smartest approach, underestimate the competition and don't react quickly enough. That always works...right?

[Ari @ Nov 8th 2007 1:23PM]

fist clench? more like stomach turning. He makes me want to vomit instantly

[tony @ Nov 8th 2007 2:56PM]

I have involuntary clenching elsewhere.

[Toadlet @ Nov 8th 2007 2:07PM]

Looks to me like he's ready to eat his words.

[bsm0f0 @ Nov 8th 2007 5:11PM]

honestly ... i'd rather look at a gorillas ass than that pic ...

[Loonie @ Nov 8th 2007 6:09PM]

Yeesh.

[mike_p @ Nov 8th 2007 10:33PM]

It's just that his head is soo huge in comparison to his ... ugh ... tiny tongue. Scary.

He reminds me of two characters from the movie "Nothing But Trouble"... Bobo and Little-Devil.

[bakedlays @ Nov 9th 2007 1:10AM]

Honestly I like Steve hes just too ridiculous for words

[John @ Nov 8th 2007 12:47PM]

I'm pretty sure Microsoft didn't get where it is today by caring about other people, or companies.

[majortom @ Nov 8th 2007 12:59PM]

actually that is true. Microsoft got where it is today by Bill's mother being on the right board, Seattle Software having a thing called DOS and some stupid house wife saying no to a couple of IBM guys when they came looking for a operating system for their new product called a PC. Oh that and some questionable business practices. :p

[liin @ Nov 8th 2007 2:43PM]

Actually, Microsoft did get where it is 'til say, pre-dotcom by "caring" what other companies are up to and competing fiercely.

But then, Microsoft got where it is today, losing a hold in the net era, and digital lifestyle era, by dissing others' great ideas.

[Todd @ Nov 8th 2007 12:53PM]

"Vista is a success" "The Zune is a success" are also "just words on paper".

[Devon @ Nov 8th 2007 2:08PM]

LMAO.
You took the words right out of my mouth.

The Zune was a success, well at least to the guy with the Zune tattoo's

[Rowdehaj @ Nov 9th 2007 2:31AM]

Neglecting to mention the fact that said piece of paper would instantly burst into flames...

[dj-kenpo @ Nov 8th 2007 1:24PM]

you made my day

[Aztec @ Nov 8th 2007 2:51PM]

Excellent observation.... lol :-)

[riggs @ Nov 8th 2007 3:49PM]

The rest of your day mustve really sucked then...

[paloooz @ Nov 8th 2007 3:17PM]

Hello, Aztec. Here on Engadget, we use the little green [+] button.

[Dean @ Nov 8th 2007 1:09PM]

I don't know what the big deal is, what was he supposed to say? "OMG android is godly, and will destroy all windows products, its open source will be used by millions and microsoft will be thrown into the pits of hell!" honestly, does anyone ACTUALLY see anything wrong with what he said? or anything different than what most competitive CEOs would say?

[Kyrra @ Nov 8th 2007 1:16PM]

He could welcome the competition to the market?

[Paul @ Nov 8th 2007 1:17PM]

Yes, because the extreme's are the right responses..."Andr...what?" or "OMG it will destroy us all!!!"

The normal person response would be to say "We've been following the announcement and find it to be in line with our goals for Windows Mobile. It's good to see, as an industry, we're giving the consumer as many options as possible" (of course it's all BS, but at least it's a measured corporate sounding response)

If they were to truly respond in Microsoft fashion, using their corporate strategy as the rule it would be more like "Why would you do that? Why would you separate from the collective? Come back to the collective and live. We know what's best for you...Dave."

[Andir3.0 @ Nov 8th 2007 6:58PM]

Actually, I think he does "welcome" them. But he basically stated that Microsoft already "owns" the mobile market and he welcomes the competition.

Shortly after that, it's rumored that he was beaten senseless by Bill for welcoming competition.

[Mark @ Nov 9th 2007 12:27PM]

"Why would you do that? Why would you separate from the collective? Come back to the collective and live. We know what's best for you...Dave."
No... that would be responding in typical Apple fashion.

[S0urcerer @ Nov 12th 2007 4:04PM]

Well, now that there is Android SDK released, it's not just "words on paper", and that's pretty fast for me, 4 days after announcing?

In your face, Ballmer ;)

[ben @ Nov 8th 2007 1:13PM]

"Their efforts are just some words on paper right now."

Which it pretty much is right now. We have not been shown anything so what can we assume except that its just words on paper?

[JD @ Nov 8th 2007 3:49PM]

Thank you! It IS just words on paper (at the moment, at least). There's no hardware, they've discussed what it's going to be, and who is in on it. While they've surely got some software and API's laying around, no one in the public has seen em. He's not wrong here, people. At least, not a the moment. But who said he was speaking about a year from now?

[Jack @ Nov 8th 2007 4:02PM]

It may be just "words on a paper" right now, but I suspect it's actually further along than that. HTC has already committed to having a device out by mid-2008 with Android on it. Mid-2008 isn't very far away, so I bet Android isn't just on paper.

[John P @ Nov 8th 2007 1:22PM]

This man never ceases to amaze me. Especially considering how awesomely well his baby OS Vista is selling. Wait, what's that? You'll pay ME to use vista? Oh steve, you shouldnt!
True Story.

[jeff @ Nov 8th 2007 2:00PM]

Number of Vista users:
88 million copies.

What a failure.



How many Apple users in total?

less than a fourth of that.

What a success!!!!

[Chris @ Nov 8th 2007 2:40PM]

Hey Jeff,

perhaps percentages of user-base installing your latest-and-greatest OS is a more telling story. We all know that Microsoft runs the world, and in that sense, 88 million copies isn't so great. But Macs have a smaller market share yet I'd be willing to bet that the percentage of users that have upgraded to Leopard is much better than Microsoft's.

You're probably white too so that means you're better than other races because there are more of you. What a success!

C

[Nick @ Nov 8th 2007 2:55PM]

now subtract from 88 million the number of computers that have vista on it but arent being used and are in warehouses or sitting on retail shelves.

The majority of their OS numbers come from pre-installs on hardware before the PC has ever been sold to a user so its not truely an accurate representation of figures.

[Jon Graft @ Nov 8th 2007 3:00PM]

88 Million Copies of Vista Sold
80 Million Users Pissed off, reverted back to XP!
8 Million Got BSODs and just decided to get Macs
:-)

[Kurtis @ Nov 8th 2007 3:00PM]

Hey Chris,

That was a terrible analogy. You don't get to choose your race. You choose what OS you use. So go shove your...

[jeff @ Nov 8th 2007 3:35PM]

Very telling how when hit with real numbers, Apple users:

A) Say that all those copies aren't actually being used.

B) Say that people bought them and returned them, and then claim they all bought Macs

And when actual sales numbers come out then they huddle in the corner because reality is just to much to stomach.

Seriously, did you think those canned, responses actually change reality? I know it makes you little Mac hearts all warm and fuzzy, but does little else.

No, despite the best efforts to fudge reality, Vista is not a failure, and stating that "well since Microsoft is so dominant, they should have sold 888 million" is just a cop out. Also saying that "Oh those copies are preinstalled so they don't count" is also a bunch of baloney. Can we take any preinstalled copies of OSX out of the running too?

Didn't think so.

I don't know what's worse, Apple users low self-esteem, which causes them to become the worst type of internet trolls, or their wholesale ignorance of reality.

[John P @ Nov 8th 2007 4:11PM]

@ Jeff

What in my comment says "I am a mac user"? Considering the sheer volume of XP users, it's safe to say that there is a higher percentage chance of me hating the memory hog that is Vista while still being a PC user. So congrats on your gross generalizations. Also, Steve Balmer is a shmuck. Just look at him.

Also, preinstalled copies of Vista do not count if the user eventually makes the switch back to XP.

[Macniatic @ Nov 8th 2007 8:58PM]

@Jeff

Vista is such a huge success that Dell and others decided to keep offering XP.

Also, why so many reviewers including PC sites say Leopard is better than Vista?

[Taylor @ Nov 8th 2007 1:57PM]

Ummm.... "Just words on paper" is the dumbest phrase i've ever heard. I guess the Bible, or The Communist Manifesto were just words on paper ever...
Since when does something "just" being words on paper in any way imply it's insignificant?
-Taylor

[Taylor @ Nov 8th 2007 1:58PM]

Oops, meant "words on paper too"

[John @ Nov 8th 2007 2:01PM]

When the object isn't just a work of literature (however inspired it might be). You're trying to be clever, and it's just not working.

[Marshall @ Nov 8th 2007 5:13PM]

I think a better example might be an architectural plan. Just because the building isn't up yet doesn't mean the drawings are valueless garbage. In the beginning stages it is about what can be done, not what is done, and the idea can still be powerful. Sure, the actualized product is the cool part, but the "words on paper" are a big part of making things happen.

Those two books aren't such bad examples of getting big results out of simple words; they have both inspired several acts of war.

[Steve_S @ Nov 8th 2007 2:13PM]

Android is currently vaporware. While Balmer could have been more PC it doesn’t irk me for him to speak his piece. I’m sure MS has people watching the development and will act as necessary when they need to. The more competition we have the better off all consumers will be.

Remember we still don’t know how unlocked the carriers will allow this OS to be on their hardware/networks. When Android phones are selling as well as WinMobile or iPhones then there will be something to take interest of.

[booticon @ Nov 8th 2007 2:21PM]

Isn't there an unwritten time until a product is considered vaporware? Like, more than a week?

[Marshall @ Nov 8th 2007 5:22PM]

You can't take an interest in something until it is doing at least as well as the competition? Perhaps you confused this with the Enstablished blog, which covers items at the peak of their life-cycle.

[jamesparkinsongrant @ Nov 8th 2007 2:22PM]

Up until a year ago I didn't know Steve Ballmer was the CEO of Microsoft, I though he was some kind of spokesperson. I was shocked and still am as to how this moron could lead a company.

Oh no, wait a second......George Bush Jnr running the country and Steve Ballmer running Microsoft.....we're all doomed!

[BoZs13 @ Nov 8th 2007 2:29PM]

trooph, sad trooph

[Matt @ Nov 8th 2007 7:02PM]

Worse yet: Hillary Clinton running the most powerful country in the world and Steve Ballmer running one of the most powerful corporations in the world! THAT is a scary thought.