CE-Oh no he didn't! Part L: Ballmer says Android "just some words on paper"
By Joshua Topolsky 
posted Nov 8th 2007 12:43PM
posted Nov 8th 2007 12:43PM
You can't help but love Steve Ballmer. Besides being the ultra-rich, ultra-faithful CEO of Microsoft, you can always count on him to deliver some choice words -- especially if the competition is in the news. His latest efforts come in the wake of Google's Android announcement, a project which clearly stands to compete with Redmond's ubiquitous Windows Mobile platform. When asked what he thought of the forthcoming phone OS at a news conference in Tokyo, Ballmer noted that, "Their efforts are just some words on paper right now." Okay, let's be perfectly honest: that statement is true -- but don't you think that when a monolithic company like Google aligns itself with other giants such as Intel, T-Mobile, Samsung, and LG (amongst others), Microsoft might take it a little more seriously? Ballmer went on to say that, "They have a press release, we have many, many millions of customers, great software, many hardware devices and they're welcome in our world." Thanks for allowing Google into "your world" Steve, we're sure your subjects will appreciate it.
How come every time I see that picture, my fist clinches?
How come every time I see that picture, my butt clenches? Get away from me with that thing, Steve!
I was just about to comment on that also. It doesn't matter how many times I've seen it, it's still as disturbing as viewing for the first time.
Yes, can we plleeaaassee retire that picture? Engadget, you guys don't want me to wretch at work do you? I can't stand looking at Ballmer's ugly mug.
I think it's the smartest approach, underestimate the competition and don't react quickly enough. That always works...right?
fist clench? more like stomach turning. He makes me want to vomit instantly
I have involuntary clenching elsewhere.
Looks to me like he's ready to eat his words.
honestly ... i'd rather look at a gorillas ass than that pic ...
Yeesh.
It's just that his head is soo huge in comparison to his ... ugh ... tiny tongue. Scary.
He reminds me of two characters from the movie "Nothing But Trouble"... Bobo and Little-Devil.
Honestly I like Steve hes just too ridiculous for words
This man never ceases to amaze me. Especially considering how awesomely well his baby OS Vista is selling. Wait, what's that? You'll pay ME to use vista? Oh steve, you shouldnt!
True Story.
Number of Vista users:
88 million copies.
What a failure.
How many Apple users in total?
less than a fourth of that.
What a success!!!!
Hey Jeff,
perhaps percentages of user-base installing your latest-and-greatest OS is a more telling story. We all know that Microsoft runs the world, and in that sense, 88 million copies isn't so great. But Macs have a smaller market share yet I'd be willing to bet that the percentage of users that have upgraded to Leopard is much better than Microsoft's.
You're probably white too so that means you're better than other races because there are more of you. What a success!
C
now subtract from 88 million the number of computers that have vista on it but arent being used and are in warehouses or sitting on retail shelves.
The majority of their OS numbers come from pre-installs on hardware before the PC has ever been sold to a user so its not truely an accurate representation of figures.
88 Million Copies of Vista Sold
80 Million Users Pissed off, reverted back to XP!
8 Million Got BSODs and just decided to get Macs
:-)
Hey Chris,
That was a terrible analogy. You don't get to choose your race. You choose what OS you use. So go shove your...
Very telling how when hit with real numbers, Apple users:
A) Say that all those copies aren't actually being used.
B) Say that people bought them and returned them, and then claim they all bought Macs
And when actual sales numbers come out then they huddle in the corner because reality is just to much to stomach.
Seriously, did you think those canned, responses actually change reality? I know it makes you little Mac hearts all warm and fuzzy, but does little else.
No, despite the best efforts to fudge reality, Vista is not a failure, and stating that "well since Microsoft is so dominant, they should have sold 888 million" is just a cop out. Also saying that "Oh those copies are preinstalled so they don't count" is also a bunch of baloney. Can we take any preinstalled copies of OSX out of the running too?
Didn't think so.
I don't know what's worse, Apple users low self-esteem, which causes them to become the worst type of internet trolls, or their wholesale ignorance of reality.
@ Jeff
What in my comment says "I am a mac user"? Considering the sheer volume of XP users, it's safe to say that there is a higher percentage chance of me hating the memory hog that is Vista while still being a PC user. So congrats on your gross generalizations. Also, Steve Balmer is a shmuck. Just look at him.
Also, preinstalled copies of Vista do not count if the user eventually makes the switch back to XP.
@Jeff
Vista is such a huge success that Dell and others decided to keep offering XP.
Also, why so many reviewers including PC sites say Leopard is better than Vista?
I'm pretty sure Microsoft didn't get where it is today by caring about other people, or companies.
actually that is true. Microsoft got where it is today by Bill's mother being on the right board, Seattle Software having a thing called DOS and some stupid house wife saying no to a couple of IBM guys when they came looking for a operating system for their new product called a PC. Oh that and some questionable business practices. :p
Actually, Microsoft did get where it is 'til say, pre-dotcom by "caring" what other companies are up to and competing fiercely.
But then, Microsoft got where it is today, losing a hold in the net era, and digital lifestyle era, by dissing others' great ideas.
PLEASE stop posting that picture. Or at least allow us an option on this site of blocking any images of Steve Ballmer's tongue.
What, you don't use AdBlock Plus?
i'll be the first to abandon my WM5 Phone for a Google OS phone!!
why don't you make it so when you close a program its closed, not in the background using up ram slowing the phone down, Microsoft?!?!?
What a tool.
"Vista is a success" "The Zune is a success" are also "just words on paper".
LMAO.
You took the words right out of my mouth.
The Zune was a success, well at least to the guy with the Zune tattoo's
Neglecting to mention the fact that said piece of paper would instantly burst into flames...
you made my day
Excellent observation.... lol :-)
The rest of your day mustve really sucked then...
Hello, Aztec. Here on Engadget, we use the little green [+] button.
Whats so aggrevating about microsoft saying that? All the other major companies said similar things and yet, only Engadget blog boys get mad over a little statement THAT IS TRUE. Oh and nice photo, i'm sure you guys have some absurd pictures of Steve lurking somewhere (maybe in your porn folders).
Untill we see something other than a "transcript" and some multimedia of a press event then .... i dont really care about android either.
in before "lowest ranked"
Steve who?
Steve jobs .... were you being sarcastic?
I don't know what the big deal is, what was he supposed to say? "OMG android is godly, and will destroy all windows products, its open source will be used by millions and microsoft will be thrown into the pits of hell!" honestly, does anyone ACTUALLY see anything wrong with what he said? or anything different than what most competitive CEOs would say?
He could welcome the competition to the market?
Yes, because the extreme's are the right responses..."Andr...what?" or "OMG it will destroy us all!!!"
The normal person response would be to say "We've been following the announcement and find it to be in line with our goals for Windows Mobile. It's good to see, as an industry, we're giving the consumer as many options as possible" (of course it's all BS, but at least it's a measured corporate sounding response)
If they were to truly respond in Microsoft fashion, using their corporate strategy as the rule it would be more like "Why would you do that? Why would you separate from the collective? Come back to the collective and live. We know what's best for you...Dave."
Actually, I think he does "welcome" them. But he basically stated that Microsoft already "owns" the mobile market and he welcomes the competition.
Shortly after that, it's rumored that he was beaten senseless by Bill for welcoming competition.
"Why would you do that? Why would you separate from the collective? Come back to the collective and live. We know what's best for you...Dave."
No... that would be responding in typical Apple fashion.
Well, now that there is Android SDK released, it's not just "words on paper", and that's pretty fast for me, 4 days after announcing?
In your face, Ballmer ;)
I'm sorry but I prefer Bill any day. Ballmer is an asshole. What is it with Tech companies and asshole CEOs: Ballmer, Jobs, Ellison, McNealy...
"Their efforts are just some words on paper right now."
Which it pretty much is right now. We have not been shown anything so what can we assume except that its just words on paper?
Thank you! It IS just words on paper (at the moment, at least). There's no hardware, they've discussed what it's going to be, and who is in on it. While they've surely got some software and API's laying around, no one in the public has seen em. He's not wrong here, people. At least, not a the moment. But who said he was speaking about a year from now?
It may be just "words on a paper" right now, but I suspect it's actually further along than that. HTC has already committed to having a device out by mid-2008 with Android on it. Mid-2008 isn't very far away, so I bet Android isn't just on paper.
Imagine being married to that !
Man... that is one uuuuuuuuuuuuuuugly tongue.
great software...???? win mobile 6 is freakishly crappy for being 6th gen item, I can add copious amounts to david pogge's comments in the NYT's yesterday....
And, activesync is stupidly dangerous garbage that thinks it's cool to delete all your contacts, calendar and notes off of your phone...
Go get 'em Stevie B... I bet you can ride Microsoft right into the trash bin if you have your way.
Ummm.... "Just words on paper" is the dumbest phrase i've ever heard. I guess the Bible, or The Communist Manifesto were just words on paper ever...
Since when does something "just" being words on paper in any way imply it's insignificant?
-Taylor
Oops, meant "words on paper too"
When the object isn't just a work of literature (however inspired it might be). You're trying to be clever, and it's just not working.
I think a better example might be an architectural plan. Just because the building isn't up yet doesn't mean the drawings are valueless garbage. In the beginning stages it is about what can be done, not what is done, and the idea can still be powerful. Sure, the actualized product is the cool part, but the "words on paper" are a big part of making things happen.
Those two books aren't such bad examples of getting big results out of simple words; they have both inspired several acts of war.
Isn't that the dude who has the Young Frankenstein role in Mel Brooks' new Broadway show?
Android is currently vaporware. While Balmer could have been more PC it doesn’t irk me for him to speak his piece. I’m sure MS has people watching the development and will act as necessary when they need to. The more competition we have the better off all consumers will be.
Remember we still don’t know how unlocked the carriers will allow this OS to be on their hardware/networks. When Android phones are selling as well as WinMobile or iPhones then there will be something to take interest of.
Isn't there an unwritten time until a product is considered vaporware? Like, more than a week?
You can't take an interest in something until it is doing at least as well as the competition? Perhaps you confused this with the Enstablished blog, which covers items at the peak of their life-cycle.
Up until a year ago I didn't know Steve Ballmer was the CEO of Microsoft, I though he was some kind of spokesperson. I was shocked and still am as to how this moron could lead a company.
Oh no, wait a second......George Bush Jnr running the country and Steve Ballmer running Microsoft.....we're all doomed!
trooph, sad trooph
Worse yet: Hillary Clinton running the most powerful country in the world and Steve Ballmer running one of the most powerful corporations in the world! THAT is a scary thought.
Well until you have something to look at, compare, touch, take apart - you have to treat this as just words right now. You can either wait till there is something and move forward based on this actual info - or you can jump to conclusions and waste time preparing for something that hasn't been released and you only know through hearsay what it actually is.
Any bad news for either camp is unwelcome when trying to determine a market leader. No matter which way your fan blows.
You have proved it's incredibly easy to illicit negative responses to words from MS by putting an unattractive picture and spin on a quote.
Well done!
Hey try something harder try and find a George Bush picture where he looks stupid and search for a quote that matches.
Wow more negative responses.
You are either conducting the saddest social experiment in the world or just terrible journalists. You choose.
John P Vista rocks and I know more about computers than you so I'm right, I’ll wrestle you to prove it. :P
Ok, computer question 1: What has John P Vista got to do with Android?
Let's face it - I have a Moto Q which replaced my Palm Treo 700p, and I can definitively say that MS doesn't have good software. Windows 95 ported to a mobile device on a slow ARM processor just doesn't work that well. That said, they have partnered with better hardware manufacturers such as HTC - the Palm OS is/was good, but the hardware was very unreliable.
The market is aching for alternatives, this is why the iPhone got so much early adoption even though it's lacking features in some key areas.
If the Google platform runs well on good hardware, MS will have a big problem on their hands IMNSHO.
Just fyi, but it's extremely hard to read the post with balmer's pic next to it....
So basically engadget is ragging on this guy for calling a spade a spade. At this stage it's still vaporware until there's a product/SDK.
Simon
@ Chris
You may want to consider that one factor delaying the adoption of Vista is that for most people XP works really well and (Mac fanboys cover your sensitive ears) is very stable.
You might also want to consider that one factor that the adoption of Leopard surpassed expectations, and had been getting great reviews, is that for most Mac users ... Tiger works really well?
@Simon:
That's a fair comment.
As both a Windows and Mac user for many years, I have no problem in saying that XP in it's current form is one of the best things Microsoft have put together.
Vista on the other hand is a buggy, bloated, over-rated POS which doesn't even fulfil its first criteria - be a stable Operating System from which to run your software from.
As for releasing all it's "2008" software at the same time - that'll be interesting to watch - they've barely got all the "2005" suite working properly yet!
I personally can't wait until Google et al start to play ball properly, and *really* put the frighteners on Microsoft.
Apple seem to be getting to a bit of a crossroads as the business is growing ever more successful, if they're not careful they could end tarnishing the image they've spent the past few years building up.
Interesting times ahead..
Google was just "words on paper" at one point, too...
PS: Damn I love that picture!
I'm pretty sure that it was an actual website by the time that anyone actually heard about it.
Umm I don't really get why this is a CE-Oh no he didn't. What Ballmer said is true, we haven't seen what it looks like or what it can do. In fact all he seemed to say is that so far nobody's seen it so he can't judge right now but that he welcomes google into the business. I'm somewhat baffled that you guys didn't catch that, engadget.
Ballmer welcomes words on paper...
Ballmer picks rock instead of scissors...
and his kids still don't get to play Wii...
Micro$oft decides to make some words on paper to counterattack words on paper...
shows video of M$ Surface next to zune
announces xbox 360 controller compatibility with zune {it will happen}
Micro$oft mistakes Gmail-Paper as real, creates HotPaper.
http://www.roughlydrafted.com/RD/RDM.Tech.Q1.07/50755EA6-A759-42FD-84ED-EBB5A060AF16.html
Oh ho, I get it, you replaced the "S" in Microsoft with a dollar sign! It's funny, because they're a corporation and like money! Do you mind if I use that one sometime?
(; OK john
keep those comments coming.
Microsoft doesn't exactly control the mobile market they seem to dip their feet into everything so they can keep a shield around their core profit business.
I've seen lots of working models from Microsoft that have turned into vaporware: still waiting for the next cool thing that Microsoft uses to misdirect attention.
in then end it's just as Ballmer says:
MARKETING, MARKETING, MARKETING!!!
to bad Ballmer is PUG UGLY
And.. windows mobile is just icons on a cheap lcd screen. show me the money, ballface.
ugh balmer shut up!
this is why i've never paid for an install of windows.... :P
Surely doesn't everything just start off with words on paper...?
Please stop using that grotesque picture. I want to vomit.