CE-Oh no he didn't! Part LVI: Dell states, for the record, he could take Jobs in a fight
By Ryan Block 
posted May 28th 2008 3:38PM
posted May 28th 2008 3:38PM
[Thanks Seenew for Jobs' Mii]
posted May 28th 2008 3:38PM
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How about we just throw them both into a snake pit and move on with life?
god dell sucks ass
You are both dumber than the square root of -1:
Your stupidity remains at levels undefined.
Actually the square root of -1 is a pretty important concept :P
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imaginary_numbers
Of course if you were being sarcastic I do apologize. The guys up above are definitely douchebags though.
@Forrest:
*clicks the ! button three times*
@Seth
That's why I clicked the [!] button three times. :)
Actually he's got a good idea....and while we're at it, throw Gates, Balmer, Torvalds, Mossberg, and any other "influential" tech person you can think of in there with them.
Why not do a Hell in the Cell? Last man standing owns all Computerdom.
Because it'd be hilarious to see the Jobs get the smirk knocked off his face. I wonder if he'd still wear his turtleneck and jeans to the fight.
Kamokazi, are you going to fill in the difference of 50 or so billion that Bill gives to charity?
And Ray, it would have been better to say "you are both dumber than one divided by zero"; or if you're cool, say they're Pi over 2 radians.
Steve don't fight, that ain't Zen...
All that Steve would have to do is say, "Boom" and it's over.
You never heard of the iRightHook?
It's a one hit ko!
The RDF will prevail...unfortunately. Michael Dell will be leaving that ring with a MacBook Air and some snake oil.
Ballmer would devour his young.
+1 For Michale Dell
-1 fore splling
+0 for me being too lazy to click + or -
@El Taco
-1 for saying "+0" because zero is not a positive, nor a negative number. It is neutral. :)
@Aguiluz
-0 to you because saying +0 is actually completely valid.
Steve's already beat him-look at the capitalization of their respective companies...
For every computer Jobs sells, Dell sells six.
Personally, I would rather have a Mac (and would much rather have a Thinkpad), but there's no denying Dell's success. He's like the Henry Ford of laptops.
Hardly. Apple's stock is worth four times Dell right now.
http://apple20.blogs.fortune.cnn.com/2008/05/04/why-apple-is-now-worth-four-dells/
That and Apple is selling 66% of computer's over a grand.
http://apple.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/05/20/0146218&from=rss
Dell is going the way of Gateway someday.
but dell is worth more and that is only through retail dell sells direct mostly.
@conor
I think you need to look at the math again.
Apple's stock worth as of today: 187.010.58 0.31%
as of 04:00 PM EDT on 05/28/2008 in USD (NASDAQ Delay: 15 mins.) : http://finance.aol.com/financials/apple-inc/aapl/nas/balance-sheet
Dell's stock worth as of today: 21.690.20 0.93%
as of 04:00 PM EDT on 05/28/2008 in USD (NASDAQ Delay: 15 mins.) : http://finance.aol.com/financials/dell-inc/dell/nas/balance-sheet
To recap:
187 > 21
Apple's stock is currently worth more than Dell's. And with only Total Liabilities & Shareholders Equity difference of 1.82 B between them. Apple’s balance sheet reveals that Apple has been piling up cash for some time now and cash and cash equivalents are about $19,448,000,000 as of March 29, 2008.
Apple's market value of $158.66 billion is now four times Dell's $38.97 billion.
And keep in mind, this is in a technological sales recession. 4 years ago, Microsoft had 64 billion in cash. Its current balance is currently $26.3 billion. In that same amount of time, Apple's increased it's cash balance from $5.5 billion to $19.4 billion.
In comparison to Dell, their notebook and other handheld device sales were flat at $3.8 billion, and its desktop PC business took it on the chin, with sales down 18 percent. Storage array sales--mostly disk arrays, but also including storage--were flat in the quarter at $600 million worldwide. The company's overall sales fell by 5 percent to $14.4 billion, and net earnings fell by 33 percent to $673 million. Ouch.
Those are the facts, and no amount of fan-boi ratings will change that. ;)
As of October 2006, research firms IDC and Gartner reported that Apple's market share in the U.S. had increased to about 6 percent.[64] Figures from December 2006, showing a market share around 6 percent (IDC) and 6.1 percent (Gartner) are based on a more than 30 percent increase in unit sale from 2005 to 2006. The installed base of Mac computers is hard to determine, with numbers ranging from a conservative 3 percent[65] to an optimistic 16 percent.[66]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macintosh
In the second quarter of 2006 Dell had between 18% and 19% share of the worldwide personal computer market,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dell
*BNL* Oh if I had a million dollars....
I'd buy you a house...
@o29
And when computer market share equals stock market share, that will mean something.
Saying "Dell has more computers out there" is meaningless and is completely beside the point of company worth, asset and current sales volume. Bottom line is Dell's sales numbers are down across the board, while Apple's is thriving. And not just Dell, many PC manufactures' numbers are also lower as well.
Not to mention Dell's recent legal problems related to it's business practices: http://www.pcworld.com/businesscenter/article/146371/court_finds_dell_guilty_of_fraud.html
Sorry, but the tired argument of 'XXX have more computers than you' is superfluous and isn't going to cut it.
I laughed.
*promptly forgets about this headline*
I think we should give them 4x4's with nails in them and let them go at it in a swimming pool filled with tigers!
and leopards, panthers, cheetahs, and jaguars!
Atari Jaguars. THAT would scare the crap out of them.
This argument is pointless. Everyone knows Kaz Hirai could flip both of them over and hit their weak points for massive damage. His war scream: "Riiiiiidge Racerrrrr!"
Sorry, but last I checked neither was a giant crab...
It's easy to beat Steve. Just punch him in the pancreas!
Oh MAN...
ROFL!
omg i laughed, i'm sorry! rofl
You are a douche bag. Watch some one battle though cancer, then die and see if you think such jokes are still funny... or better yet, get back to summer school you twat.
Jason, calm down lol.
The execution of this comment was perfect... I'm still laughing at it.
Merci, Jacques.
hahahahahahahaha!!! MEGA ROFLWITHABONER!!!!
Jason,
Even Randy Pausch thought the comment was funny.
@Jason - I totally agree with you, that was wrong. If he was Lance Armstrong I would totally kick him in the ball...
I lawled!
In a physical fight maybe, but Jobs can kill with his mind.
Of course that's the headline. You're talking to Dell. What did you think, they were gonna launch some Innovative and Cool products?
Get these posers out of here. Where's Jobs?
Uhhh, considering Dell currently has over a 30% market share of computers shipped last quarter and Apple is at 5%...Michael has pretty much already been kicking Jobs' ass for years.* Dell even topped HP last quarter.
I'd say that pretty much makes him the heavyweight champion. Apple still has HP, Acer, Toshiba and Lenovo to beat before it can even get a shot...and that's in the US. Outside of North America, Apple does even merit a back alley scuffle.
Of course, we're talking a physical beatdown here...Dell is a good 'ole Texan and no small fellow like Jobs.
(*according to figures from top analyst firms Gartner and IDC)
Oh yeah, Brad, quote that worthless number market share and then make wildly ludicrous claims.
Apple, with seven percent market share, makes more money than Dell, and has a bigger market capitalization (i.e. they're worth more) than Dell to boot! They also have a big pile of cash that Dell only could dream about as they try to stave off bankruptcy. Or hadn't you noticed they had to can their CEO for poor performance and bring Michael back from the old folks home?
So, I'd say Steve is beating the tar out of Michael with his pinky finger like the business Zen master that he is.
um...hey brad, now lets look at some other numbers, Apples worth 164 billion and Dell 44 billion "close down the company and give the money back to it's shareholders" - Michael Dell on Apple 10 yrs ago hmm Id give that advice to Michael right about now
http://images.macrumors.com/article/2008/04/16/184551-gartner_1Q08_us.png
Yeah, Dell is way ahead, and has been for years, but Apple is totally gaining on them. They're flying by everyone except Dell. Q1'07 Dell was up 15.7%, Apple was up 32.5%. Give them both credit, as the total industry growth was only 3%, but Apple is sure gaining on them.
Also, they ARE ahead of Toshiba, and are set to pass Acer I'd say by Q1'09. HP will take a good number of years to come and Dell will be a LONG time, but it's possible.