Step right this way 360 owners, past the bearded woman, under the tent flap and into "Bizarro World!" In this world, 360 versions of things are always delayed, while PS3 players get to enjoy them first. Look, over there! That's a PS3 owner enjoying the new Burnout Paradise update "Cagney" today, and you've got to wait for it! And not just a few days like we originally thought! No, Criterion's now saying you're going to be waiting until at least July 24! The terror!
And look, over there, it's ... actually, that's the only exhibit we've got, sorry folks. Drive safely don't forget that your ticket stubs are good for 50 percent off at Pizza In a Cup.