Do you download applications you don't even use? Do you stay up late, obsessively logging in to iTunes? If so, you may have appiphilia.
But don't worry: Appiphilia is treatable with Appien, from the makers of Extensionil and Kaleidoscept.
Talk to your doctor about Appien. For some patients, it can reduce the joy associated with buying new applications, meaning less time on the App Store, and more time doing the things that you love: like checking email or using Maps.
Only your doctor can diagnose appiphilia. If you spent more than $30 on applications in the last week, there's a good chance Appien can help.
Appien isn't for everyone. Side effects include nausea, projectile Zune ownership, and dry mouth. Tell your doctor if backing up your iPhone takes longer than four hours, since this can be a sign of a rare complication that requires immediate medical attention.
Talk to your doctor about Appien. Appien. Regain control of your iPhone.
[Via The Los Angeles Times.]