Caption Contest: If BlackBerrys were wooly mammoths

It seems Canadian megacarrier Rogers Wireless is sponsoring Ottawa's Winterlude Festival right now, effectively incorporating the two things that come to mind when we think of Canada -- ice and BlackBerrys -- into a single exhibit. So much for that warranty, eh?

Chris: "Shortly before being packaged for sale, RIM attempts to remove bugs from the Storm's firmware using a 20G centrifuge."
Thomas: "Camerica explorers surprised to discover cryogenically preserved device with OS superior to Windows Mobile 14."
Nilay: "And you thought the browser was glacial."
Don: "Miley Cyrus' request for some 'iced-out BlackBerrys' didn't translate so well north of the border."
Paul: "The next firmware update is rumored to include a hammer and a chisel."
Jacob: "Must've been one heck of a Storm."
Darren: "I asked for a chilled blackberry martini, and got this."
Ross: "Not to be outdone, Telus has encased a Curve 8350i inside Vanilla Ice. Turn off the lights and his stomach might glow."
Sean: "RIM's metaphorical take on the 'new reality' of modern smartphones"
Joe: "It's a little too big for curling, but it does do SMS."
Josh: "David Blaine: BlackBerry user."

[Thanks, Bryan W. F.]