"Cell Phone Reunion" shows what happens when handsets stop being polite
By Tim Stevens 
posted Feb 10th 2009 8:04AM
posted Feb 10th 2009 8:04AM
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i enjoyed that.
I think it's sad. It's sad that people get so worked up about gadgets, that they need to take out their frustrations through fantasy. I mean, CHRIST, are people really this jealous of iPhone users?
Paul,
I think it's sad that you actually think people are jealous of iPhone users. LOL
You're experiencing the Five Stages of Apple Hatred, you know. You're in the Denial stage now.
This is how it works.
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
Zune users already know about this, but I'll go over the steps really quick.
Tomorrow, you're be Angry that no company has caught up with the iPhone.
The day after that, you'll be Bargaining that the first company that does catch up with the iPhone, gets your dough.
The day after that, you'll be Depressed that no company has caught up with the iPhone.
The day after that, you'll Accept that Apple will stay ahead no matter what and you'll move on to Denying Snow Leopard is better than Windows 7 and then the process repeats itself. Get it? I've already been through this with Vista.
Very nice touch. Compare Apple to suicide. Very impressive.
Lame
Its not comparing it to suicide, its the five stages of dealing with death. Ugh.
There is no cure to Apple Hatred, but there is a treatment. It's called Zunex. Ask your doctor for it.
Wow Paul, you've become so clouded that you can't tell the difference between Apple hatred, and a humourous cartoon? And you're telling us to go see a doctor?
No, I just saw a commercial the other day and I thought it would help all the people who feel some form of hope in this oh-so-classy cartoon. Well, there's another hope, people, and it's called Zunex.
{cue folksy music and a soothing baritone male voice}
"Apple Hater Derangement Syndrome is a contagious disease that affects 20 million Windows users. Once you contract it, you have it for life. There is no cure, but there is Zunex."
{cue beautiful redhead in a park, seated on a bicycle}
"When I first found out I hated iPods, I thought my life was over, but then my doctor prescribed Zunex and since then, I see beauty in every Windows product I see, even when they blue screen! Thanks, Zunex. "
{redhead rides off into the sunset}
"Zunex is a once a day pill which works by helping you to rationalize your unbridled hate for everything Apple. Ask your doctor for it. Side effects include sweating, shouting, chair throwing, lost of voice and possible hallucinations and feelings of bias from gadget sites. Call your doctor if these symptoms persist."
Maybe they just dislike the iPhone, have you thought about that?
I know I do, and I'm a lifelong Mac user.
Nah, it's jealousy. Just read the comments.
One of two things is happening here:
1. Paul is just messing with everyone because he likes to stir the pot.
OR
2. Paul doesn't understand what satire is.
Either way you slice it, that was a funny cartoon.
Why would I be stirring a pot? What am I, a gourmet chef now? If that is satire, then I guess I don't get it.
The only way this piece of fiction works is if people already have preconceived notions about iPhone users. I showed this video to a guy at work, a non-geek, and he asked me, "The iPhone speaks too?"
He just didn't get it, but of course, he doesn't engage in a daily psychic melodrama with Apple. And when I say that, I'm referring to all the losers who constantly jump into the comment sections to complain about "Apple bias" and get enraged by the littlest slight against their preferred company for gadgets. You guys know who you are.
This cartoon works as satire because it assumes the viewers have a certain level of jealousy about Apple products. People who dislike something just avoid what they dislike. People who are jealous become stalkers. See the difference?
At Paul:
"The day after that, you'll Accept that Apple will stay ahead no matter what and you'll move on to Denying Snow Leopard is better than Windows 7 and then the process repeats itself. Get it? I've already been through this with Vista."
How can you say this, you have no real knowledge of Snow Leopard - it hasnt been in public beta and there's hardly enough information on it to even get it out of vapourware stages, yet alone compare this to another OS, an OS which even in public beta stage and still being de-bugged is being praised on it's hardware-scaling capabilities (it can even run on a netbook!)
And no, I do not hate apple, iPod's are the only music players that I will purchase, what I do hate is the idiots who's heads are rammed so far up Phil Schiller's ass that their tongue serves as his very own bowel cleaner.
I think Paul is only so defensive right now because he may have realized that the video isn't making fun of the iPhone - but the zealous idiots it can turn people into. Satire is good.
Paul, you sound exactly like the iphone character - that's when you know satire really works (well not for you of course, just the rest of us listening to people like you). Btw, I'm on my 2nd iphone, best phone I've ever owned... but I still found the cartoon funny.
just like it's users, the iphone is pretentious.
can you shut up, paul.
@ Paul A Chapel: I find it amusing that you chastise people a la "It's sad that people get so worked up about gadgets, that they need to take out their frustrations through fantasy."
Then proceed to spend more screen real estate writing borderline slash fiction to prosthetize about Apple.
Way to prove a point!
@ Paul. You're an idiot LOL.
For the love of God Paul, just shut up. The more you say, the dumber you sound.
Hey Paul, could you stop posting your stupid "Zunex" commercial? You must have that thing in a separate document so that you can paste in in any case.
Jeez. Fucking shut up.
While I
While I love my iPhone, I'm glad it finally got what was coming to it. :)
lol ! that was damn funny.
Maybe next time they should have one featuring the Palm Pre as the Good guy... :P
...and the HTC touch HD as god
I meant:" as God", of course
And Diamonds as angels.
I was kinda hoping to see the Treo 650 or the super elite Sectera Edge.
Well done though.
Congrats to CollegeHumor guys! The best cellphone laugh I made for some time.
they managed to accurately portray 90% of the iphones demographic, and somehow made it look funny.
I bet you have an iPhone
And no girlfriend.
Sorry to hear about that, Anderson. Maybe you should go on one of those date shows or buy a Macbook Pro and sit in Starbucks until a cute girl asks you about it. Maybe you'll get a date. It worked for me. ;)
@ Paul A. Chapel
Funnily enough, most people can get by with their personalities to pull rather than relying on a brand image. Maybe you should try that sometime ;-)
Girls like things. A girl will settle for a guy with no personality, as long as he provides her with more things. And a MacBook signals that the guy might be able to buy her more things. Just saying. I'm a PC user too, but I morph into a Mac user when I'm out and about because it almost always leads to conversations with women and conversations lead to dates.
Are you writing this down?
@Paul
Enjoy your cheating Girlfriend/Wife. Girls who choose material goods over the person are more likely to cheat on their significant other because the only thing in the relationship for them are things, the person that they’re with brings nothing else to the table, in the end 90% of women outgrow this stage anyway so either you'll be stuck with a cheater or alone.
And because the girls who settle for personality are always incredibly hot, right? Good luck with that.
The good thing about the girls that like you for things, is that she can always be replaced with the even younger girl that likes you for things, even though you're old and ugly. Meanwhile, the girl that likes you for personality is getting old and ugly with you.
"Sorry to hear about that, Anderson. Maybe you should go on one of those date shows or buy a Macbook Pro and sit in Starbucks until a cute girl asks you about it. Maybe you'll get a date. It worked for me. ;)"
Remember, what works for Middle schoolers doesn't work for grown ups. Plus, why the hell would you get a MacBook Pro to sit at Starbucks? Isn't that what the MacBook Air is for? :p
I hear that MacBook Pro users have "bigger hard drives," if you know what I mean. ;)
I heard they had security issues. And not the Windows kind.
Actually I was hinting that girls might think you have a better PING in Counter-Strike, if you know what I mean. Of course, some would say that it's not the size of your PING that's important, but the latency.
That might one of the lamest things I've heard in a while Paul. Most non retarded people purchase products because they fit their need, not because they are trying to exude some lame ass image.
Self confidence champ, women find that infinitely more attractive than your freaking laptop.
Paul, I don't have a girlfriend because I've been happily married for 10 years. As well as being pretty hot she's also smart (two degrees, one a 2.1 in Business Studies) and certainly more than smart enough not to be impressed by some prick sipping expensive coffee whilst tippy tapping on a shiny bit of aluminum.
Which is not to say I can't afford to buy her nice things like, say, cars and holidays and stuff because I most certainly can, just that I don't have to.
In other news: You're still a cock.
And you still have an obsession with cock, apparently.
Paul got pwned by Mark Anderson. these iPhone fanboys are all the same. they're all sheep. if the iPhone is so great, how come it can do half of the things a phone from 3 years ago can? you know, bluetooth transfer, video recording, MMS, etc...
Huh, I got owned because someone said they have a wife? I thought I was just giving ole Mark advice about getting a girlfriend, but apparently we were in a cage fight. Okay.
But about this magical phone you have. I guess your phone also has 15,000 apps and games, 3G, Multi-touch, a real Internet Browser called Safari Mobile, Caller ID, Visual Voicemail, Visual Call Merge, Visual Call Swap, an iPod with CoverFlow and Video playback, E-mail, SMS, Wi-Fi, Bluetooth 2.0 + EDR, a Wi-Fi and Cell store, Ringtones, an SDK, Exchange Support with Push E-mail, Cisco IPsec VPN, IMAP and POP3 support, Remote Wipe, Multiple language support, Parental Controls, Web Apps, Enterprise App Support, Ad Hoc for Schools, MobileMe for Non-work related synching, A-GPS and Google Maps with Satellite View and Live Traffic Info, 16 GB of flash storage, a 620 MHz ARM processor, a 3.5-inch, 480 by 320 pixel, 163 ppi capacitive, optical glass Wide Screen, an Accelerometer, Ambient Light Sensor, Proximity Sensor, a Sleep/Wake button, a Volume Control button, a Ringer Control button, Earbuds with a built-in microphone, a Flush Headphone Jack, a Rechargeable ion-polymer battery, a YouTube app, a Photo app with geotagging, a Scientific Calculator, a regular Calculator, Stocks, Weather, Notes, Contacts, OS X, XP, and Vista support, and all for the low price of $199.
Yes? Boy, I'm impressed.
@ Paul
You realize way more then half your list is already included in other smart phones on the market? And that around half of that list is included in quite a few dumbphones? Or that at least 3-4 of those 'features' are required for a working phone? And that you are in fact not getting that for the 'low' price of $200? As you are bound by contract to pay $800+ if you continue on the plan and around $450 even if you terminate early?
I guess not, since you've been told this a thousand times and all you can do is copy and paste a features list (presumably not from your iPhone).
Paul got pwned by Gnormie too!