Here's an interesting fact: In order to earn money through product placements, you actually have to have a pre-arranged deal with the advertised company. You can't just start interjecting their brand name into conversations and wait for them to send you a check. Alas, our meticulous plan for bringing some much-needed economic growth to the Japanese Hardware Sales Institute has collapsed under the weight of its own immeasurable incompetence. We've been forced to take the last measure available to us in order to continue providing this valuable service: Workforce optimization.
We've elected to simplify a startling number of positions here at the Institute, including Stat Trackers, Adders, Subtractors, Analyzers, Percentage Calculators, Red and Green Arrow Breeders, Pun Writers, Pun Editors, and our LOLcat Locator. We even restructured the guy who was in charge of the optimization procedures. We'd like to call this irony, but we can't be sure. We smartsized our Literary Device Examiner.
We also unhired our Witty Remark That Actually Pertains to The Current Week's Sales Figures Guy -- luckily, his services won't be needed, as this week's chart looks alarmingly similar to the last fifty. Just hop into our archives, and choose your favorite wisecrack. Take our word for it -- it'll still be relevant.