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Phat Loot Phriday: Cookie's Tenderizer

"Elune," Throgg muttered. "I've never prayed you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad, why we fought, or why we died."

"Throgg," Lolegolas interrupted. "Seriously, it's just cookies. They're not going to kill you."

"All that matters is that two stood against many. That's what's important! Valor pleases you, Elune ... so grant me one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, then to hell with you!"

Throgg roared and slammed Cookie's Tenderizer down among the gingerbread men. His massive biceps flexed as he moved the rolling pin back and forth, flattening the poorly shaped treats back into their composite dough.

"I suppose we can redo them," Lolegolas sighed.

Cookie's Tenderizer (heroic)

  • Type: One-Handed Mace

  • Damage: 802-1,491 (409.6 damage per second)

  • Speed: 2.80

  • Strength: 129

  • Stamina: 194

  • Equip: Increases your hit rating by 86 (0.72% @ L85)

  • Equip: Increases your mastery rating by 86 (0.48 @ L85)

How to get it: The Tenderizer drops from Captain Cookie, the penultimate boss in heroic Deadmines.
How to get rid of it: The rolling pin sells for 25 gold, 85 silver, and 76 copper. It also disenchants into a Heavenly Shard.

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Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing gray@wow.com.