We apologize for any and all spelling or grammatical errors this post may contain. We're not at our usual razor-sharp level of literary acuity this morning, due to the fact that we stayed up all night to analyze the image you see above. According to Siliconera, that silhouetted figure up there is the first new fifth-generation Pokémon, and we need to know what it is. We'll find out during the February 21 episode of Pokémon Sunday -- but we both know that we can't be expected to wait that long.
So, let's just start riffing. It looks bipedal, right? That could indicate that it's a fighting-type -- then again, look at its plumage. Kinda looks like the trappings of a fire-type, doesn't it? Then again, it could just as easily be a new evolution of Lucario! Or -- wait, you know what it actually resembles? Our shame.