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ATTENTION: STORMTROOPER SQUADS OPERATING NEAR KAMINO CLONING FACILITIES

It has come to our attention that one of Lord Vader's emotionally conflicted "Starkiller" clones has escaped. Again. We are currently unable to acquiesce to any transfer requests, and advise troopers who encounter Vader's twirling pet to remain calm, even in the face of his terrifying "dual-wielding" of lightsabers (see: ELEGANT WEAPONS chapter in "CIVILIZED AGES, THIRD EDITION"). Firing upon him is foolish and is not recommended under any circumstances whatsoever. Note: A self-inflicted wound from a deflected laser bolt will NOT count toward your appalling accuracy rating.

If an encounter is unavoidable and you somehow survive, you will most likely require medical attention. Be sure to bring any severed limbs to the medical bay along with your person. While it is preferable that arms and legs match the serial number of the torso, there is some degree of convenient interchangeability offered by the fact that you're all clones. Complaints of mismatched items being "gross" will not be tolerated.

This article was originally published on Joystiq.