Launch date invites celebration and dismay

In an unprecedented announcement, [developing company] stated in a press release today that [unreleased game] will launch on [date], much to the [emotion] of its fans. "We have always [past tense verb] our supporters, so we did exactly as they have been asking," [title] [proper name] stated to us this morning. "We've always said we would not launch until the game was [adjective] -- now it is, [interjection]!"

Unfortunately for those of you living in [country], you will not see the game on store shelves until [date]. To make up for this delay, the developers have planned a pre-release party in [city], [country] on [date]. The game's [title], [proper name], said, "Of course, we don't like people in that country, otherwise we would have released the game in all countries at the same time. Why do you think the [plural nationality] aren't getting the game at all?"

For everyone else, grab your [weapon], put on your [article of clothing], and get ready to [verb] your enemy's [body part]. Hail to the [monarch]!

Games Journalism sure is hard work, so we've decided to take a break today and let you write your own news! Too many stories about RIFT on Massively lately? Not enough about the game of your choice? No problem! Much in the style of Mad Libs, today is your day to create the news you want to read, all day on the :30s. Simply fill in the blanks and it's yours. Have fun!
This article was originally published on Massively.