Rampant Speculation Theatre presents: THQ trademarks 'Evolve'

THQ has filed a trademark for "Evolve" with the United States Patent & Trademark Office, according to an application dug up by Gamespot. The trademark's classification is rather wordy and all encompassing, ranging from what you'd expect ("computer game software") to what you might not ("providing entertainment services, in the nature of a site featuring entertainment information, discussion groups, non-downloadable video games, and downloads relating to video games").

Here on Rampant Speculation Theatre, it's our job to take news that is particularly svelte and jazz it up with lies predictions, so let's get to it: Evolve will be a Spore-esque artificial life simulator, covering the evolution of all planetary life from single-celled organisms through modern man. Evolve's differentiating factor will be the fact that all evolution takes place in real time; at 6 billion years long, it offers players excellent value for money.