Drama Mamas: Progression vs. friends
Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm.
I was going to embed this earworm because of this week's signature, but I just couldn't stomach it. I'm not a fan. So I've replaced it with a different earworm. Everybody clap and point now.
Dear Drama Mamas:
I am an officer and tank in a raiding guild with people I've known since mid Cataclysm. I took a break at the start of Mists due to getting a new job, and came back a couple of months ago to find the guild struggling on Horridon in 10N Throne of Thunder. I wasn't planning on returning to the game full-time and spent most of my time leveling and gearing an alt that I was using to fill a spare DPS slot when the guild needed me. I was eventually asked to come back as a full-time tank to help with progression, and since then we've slowly managed to clear normal T15, culminating in downing Lei Shen the first time a couple of weeks ago.
The issue, to be blunt, is that I think our progress is very poor and I feel that I could do a lot better than being barely 12/12N. We have some occasional attendance issues and we don't rotate raiders in and out as we don't have standby/extra raiders, forcing us to resort to pugging from trade, and some logistics issues that shorten our weekly raid times to just around 7 hours a week. We still sometimes wipe a couple of times on farm bosses because someone messes up (e.g. a bit slow kicking a turtle on Tortos). We have't managed to kill Lei Shen a second time in the 3+ weeks since we killed him the first time, usually experiencing the same issues that we saw in the weeks leading up to our first kill, which took about 40 attempts.
I'm trying very hard not to sound like a jerk but the more I think about it, the more it seems that the guild is just not that good; thinking back, we couldn't clear the second half of Firelands until the nerfs kicked in, after which we got 5/7H. Dragon Soul was fairly easy on normal but we had major difficulty on heroic until each progressive set of nerfs, ending at 5/8H. I wasn't around for T14 but I understand that the guild barely cleared HoF on normal and then ignored the harder bosses, going right to Terrace when they could and, of course, they were stuck for a long time on Horridon in T15, with each following boss usually taking at least 2 weeks of attempts to down.
Despite being an officer I get this continual voice in the back of my head that I can do better and i should look for a guild better suited to higher-end raiding which I enjoy, but I the other half of me feels bad abandoning my friends as I think we have some decent members, just the guild as a whole is lackluster. Taking the good people and forming another guild isn't really an option, but right now we're finding it very hard to offer anything worthwhile to recruit our numbers back as while we tout ourselves as a raid guild, our progress indicates a bottom-of-the-barrel type of guild on a server with quite a few guilds progressed into heroic modes, so we have trouble recruiting to look at replacing underperforming members. To compound things more, I want to change to the other faction but the rest of the guild doesn't.
I know that ultimately what I find fun is what matters, and I find raiding fun and want to progress further than what I've been able to accomplish in this guild, but I would feel like a jerk for leaving them, more so because I'm an officer and I'm friendly with most of them. Many of them already know that I want us to focus more on progression, but the reality is that we haven't been able to do it.
Thanks,
Wannabe Hardcore Tank
Drama Mama Robin: Whoa there, Wannabe. You want to change factions on top of wanting to be in a more advanced raiding guild? It seems to me that the only reason you are staying in the guild right now is out of obligation to your friends and your responsibilities as an officer. These are noble reasons, but this is your leisure time and you should be spending it the way you want. Ask yourself a few questions.
Are there enough officers so that your leaving wouldn't shake up the leadership too badly?
Is there someone who can take your place in raids?
Are you good enough friends with some of your guildies so that you would be willing to share battletags with each other?
Do you have a new guild already picked out in your new faction?
If you can answer yes to all of the above questions, then apply to your new guild. You don't want to leave until after you have a new home for yourself. Have a couple of options picked out in case the first guild says no or doesn't have room for you. In the meantime, start saying your goodbyes and exchanging battletags. There is no reason why you can't remain friends while still pursuing the content the way you want to.
If you can't answer yes to all of the questions, then start working toward turning them into yeses. See if there is someone who the other officers want to promote to take your place in the leadership. Help gear up your replacement for the raids. Research guilds in your new faction to find ones you like and who may have room for you.
You need to play the game the way you want to play it. So, as long as you take care of your responsibilities, feel free to move on to greener pastures without feeling any guilt. Good luck and let us know what happens.
Drama Mama Lisa: There's absolutely no shame in hungering for progression -- millions of players play because they relish pushing hard for the kill. What's causing you so much grief, Wannabe Hardcore Tank, is that you've tied yourself up in knots playing at a level you don't enjoy.
I think everyone would agree that it's time to move on. The key here is how to leave your guild without burning bridges. Please don't gloss over this vitally important step, or you'll find yourself skipping across the drama lava howling like Mario in Bowser's Castle. Read over our advice and give yourself time to think things through before you make any moves.
It also wouldn't hurt to review our tips on choosing the right flavor of guild. Obviously, you're looking for a progression guild, but that describes hundreds and thousands of possibilities. It's essential that you identify other characteristics beyond progression in order to ensure your new guild home is a good fit. (If you need more ideas how to find a new guild home, check our tips on finding a guild.)
Good luck, and don't forget to send a postcard/screenshot of your new boss kills!
Dodge the drama and become that player everyone wants in their group with a little help and insight from the Drama Mamas. Play nice ... and when in doubt, ask the Drama Mamas at robin@wowinsider.com. Read Robin's section of this post on how to get your letter answered and please remember that we cannot answer privately.
