One Shots: Video games are bad for you

One Shots Video games are bad for you
I love the snarky billboards in superhero MMOs. I don't know why, exactly, these games became the place to place them, but I'm not complaining. Reader Elliot sent in one of my favorite billboards from Champions Online. I'm honestly tempted to make this into a business card.

"I am not sure if this is up to par for One Shots," he wrote, "but I ran into this sign outside RenCenter in Millennium City and couldn't resist snapping the pic."

We now return you to a feedback loop of irony. A sign in a video game warning you about playing video games? My head spinneth. Let's check out the rest of this week's player-submitted screenshots before I need to go lie down, OK?

One Shots Video games are bad for you
I laughed when I saw reader Alan's screenshot from Guild Wars 2 because I have taken this exact same picture many times. I think it's because the sharks in that game always die in the same pose and make it oh-so-easy for you to snuggle up between their jaws for a photo op.

Of course, it would be even more hilarious if there were an after-death spasm and the shark chomped down one final time. Even more irony!

One Shots Video games are bad for you
EverQuest has come a long, long way from the ultra-crude 3-D models of 1999. Reader Ben has great evidence of this with the following screenshot. "Here's an impressive-looking giant spider in the new (circa 2005) tutorial zone, the Mines of Gloomingdeep," he wrote.

I guess 2005 is new, provided that you are just learning about iPhones and these new MMO things. But we'll go with it, Ben, because it is a terrifyingly beautiful screenshot that will send all of our arachnophobic readers skittering from their monitors!

One Shots Video games are bad for you
Our last screenshot of the day is this gorgeous landscape from RIFT. Reader Rade provided us with the associated tale: "Both exhausted, my companion from the fairy-folk and I were catching our breath in the last rays of sunset upon Seratos, the now kingdom of Regulos, God of Death. Will we make it to the lighthouse before the starless Black enshrouds everything -- will we survive another night of fearful darkness?"

Did you survive, Rade? One million Massively readers need to know!

One Shots Video games are bad for you
Encased in her magical, semi-transparent cocoon, Desiree looked in wonder at the starfield that now wrapped around her. The oracle told her that she would have to pass between worlds to recover the Ultimate One Shot, but she never thought that she'd end up floating through the cosmos.

A Tier 3 warship blinked into existence, laser probes darting about her small pod. "PREPARE TO BE ANNIHILATED!" a voice transmitted through her cocoon's walls. "GIRLS ARE NOT ALLOWED IN THIS UNIVERSE! THEY FREAK US OUT AND MAKE US PUT ON PANTS FOR DINNER PARTIES!"

Desiree narrowed her eyes. She may look defenseless to this star-beast, but she had a few tricks up her sleeve yet. Time to activate the Beatdown Protocol...

Want to be featured in a future edition of One Shots? Send your favorite MMO screenshots to oneshots@massively.com, and don't forget to include your name, the name of the game, and a description of the scene. Large, colorful, UI-free shots that tell a story and really show off the game make for the best images. Look ma, we brought back One Shots!
This article was originally published on Massively.