Welcome to Stiq Figures, where the sales data is after the break and the posts don't matter.

We wound ourselves up over dream E3 reveals last week, but we haven't reminisced about the uh, high points of prior E3s yet. It's rare that a sales pitch isn't cringeworthy, especially when it's rehearsed, on a vacant stage and accompanied by applause from planted attendees. There are definitely past presentations that excel in awfulness though, and maybe if we talk about them, we'll inspire some last-minute script changes to spare this year's presenters from becoming tomorrow's GIFs! Or maybe zebras will sprout wings and burn down every metropolis known to man with their newfound fire breathing capabilities, but whatever, we can still have a little fun with this.

While the "finale" of Nintendo's 2012 E3 presentation isn't the most outrageous gaff, I think it's still the one that has drove me up the wall most. After burning so much time demonstrating Nintendoland and lacking a genuine surprise in the rest of their conference, I desperately hoped for a last-minute surprise, preferably something like the initial reveal of The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. Watching Nintendo instead wrap its conference with virtual fireworks was surprisingly agonizing – I've certainly never resented colorful explosions before that moment.

There's plenty of other moments to call out though, and with a new batch of conferences kicking off tomorrow, now's the time to recall the worst missteps we've already witnessed. Tell us about the convention moments that stick out in your mind as exceptionally terrible, right after you check this week's Japanese hardware sales after the break!

Wii U: 19,312 [UP] 10,288
3DS LL: 18,776 [UP] 402
Vita: 12,859 [DOWN] 1,211
PS3: 6,922 [DOWN] 643
PS4: 6,508 [DOWN] 1,035
3DS: 4,957 [UP] 107
PSP: 1,421 [DOWN] 58
Vita TV: 1,098 [DOWN] 44
Xbox 360: 255 [UP] 53
[Image: Nintendo]

This article was originally published on Joystiq.