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Yahtzee travels to America, visits Valve
We all know that Yahtzee -- of Zero Punctuation fame -- has a bit of a skewed view on American culture. So perhaps it's fortuitous that Valve invited him to fly out to Washington to visit their studio, fire guns, and witness the wonder that is modern American airport security.No video this time, folks. Yahtzee takes it all in through the ancient medium of travelogue, with a few pictures mixed in for good measure. Still, the tone is undeniably his, and you can practically hear the dulcet rhythms of his accented vulgarity. Check out the piece for some new tidbits on Valve's survival horror title Left 4 Dead, as well as some keen insight into the team's design process.
October NPD: Wii, DS dethrone Xbox 360
After the NPD group's short-lived hesitation in providing monthly US console sales data spawned many an unhappy emoticon, it comes as a great relief to present October's magnificent results. This is especially true considering that all platforms have ducked out of last month's Halo effect and returned to their familiar positions -- the Wii and DS are back on top and the PlayStation 3 is, well, you know. GameDaily notes that the industry once again saw over $1 billion dollars leaving wallets at uncanny speeds, placing total sales for the year (through October) at $10.5 billion. At the same time last year, the amount had "just" reached $7 billion. Nintendo Wii: 519K (5 million total) Nintendo DS: 458K (13.6 million total) Microsoft Xbox 360: 366K (7.1 million total) Sony PSP: 286K (8.8 million total) Sony PlayStation 2: 184K (39.4 million total) Sony PlayStation 3: 121K (1.9 million total)
Beat Portal's final challenge in one minute
Of course, those of you who have completed Portal would know that the above image is, in fact, a cake and not representative of the game's final challenge -- you'll find the enormous spoiler video contained safely after the break. Know that we do this not only for your safety, but ours. Angry spoilees would probably kill us. And tear us to pieces. And throw every piece into a fire.
Source SDK updated: make moar Portal maps
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who need to play more Portal maps, no matter the cost, and those sour wretches who'd be well advised to hide, woefully unaware of just how badly the first group needs a fresh Portal fix. Since we're quite certain bloodletting won't bring you more Portal maps, news of an updated Source SDK should prove to be more promising. You see, the engine that powers the wonderful worlds of Valve has "been updated with content and tools to create maps, models, and textures for Half-Life 2: Episode Two, Portal, and Team Fortress 2."Yes, we know, that's all well and great for the PC crowd out there (they couldn't even wait, getting a headstart on the fun courtesy of a Bethesda level designer) but what about their console counterparts? Hey Valve, we got a news flash for you: Portal prints money. Drop some DLC on the Xbox Live Marketplace, charge like a bajillion Billy Bucks for each level, and build a real Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. And then invite us over, okay?
Bethesda designer makes Portal level
It's no secret that the hearts of Joystiq are almost exclusively the property of Portal. Sure, we have dalliances with other games, but we always know on which side our digi-bread is buttered. So it's a comfort any time we hear we're in good company, like today when we learned that Bethesda level designer Daryl Brigner had cranked out his own custom map for the game called "Ren Test 2." You can download the files here and see the download instructions here. After spending a few minutes with the map, we can report that it is pretty difficult. It's also pretty brilliant, with a few mechanics not used in Valve's game that we don't even want to ruin for you here. If you're a Portal junkie who's hard up for a fix, you need to download this now.
Team Fortess 2's Xbox Live update now available
You'll forgive us for missing this tidbit of news this weekend, as we (along with some of you, no doubt) were much too enthralled by the other, other, other, other Game of the Year, this one nestled in Valve's sumptuous Orange Box. If you wanted to add Team Fortress 2 to your list of yearly praise but felt that lag ruined the experience, perhaps the title update for the Xbox 360 version will do away with your doubts. The following technical alterations to the charming multiplayer romp should take effect the next time you load up the game whilst signed in to Xbox Live: Reduced network bandwidth usage in multiplayer. Improved overall game performance. Arranged search results to favor preferred host conditions. Improved searching for ranked games. Addressed a possible false report of too little storage space on larger hard drives (not this again!) [Via press release
Nega-review: The Orange Box
To start with, there's "the horrendous box art, which I'm pretty certain was designed by a select group of mildy-talented fifth graders." (8)For Half-Life 2 and its episodic add-ons, "the visuals are not as good as they should be." (8) "The graphics don't compare with say BioShock, Gears of War or Halo 3," (6) and the game "suffer[s] from occasional framerate stutters and issues." (1) "There's also some noticeable pop-up." (6) "You'll ... see some chugs at certain points, such as during large chain explosions with equally large numbers of characters onscreen." (1)"There are mid-level loads that halt the action... often [for] 30 seconds to a full minute. This is especially aggravating when a load comes during a high-speed chase." (8) "Whenever you approach a new area, the game pauses and loads. This feels distinctly last-gen, especially compared with FPS of the moment Halo 3, which seamlessly loads new areas without pause." (6)As for the game itself, "some sections feel over-long, others just a lonely set of corridors." (3) Your AI teammates "can often get in your way when trying to move about small places [and] the AI often ignores [your] orders or will simply refuse to stay put and let you get through a corridor." (8) "Episode 2 is still linear. ... It's not exactly innovative - there's only one new enemy type and the lone new weapon isn't seen until the finale." (4) "The sense of familiarity can dull the game's appeal to [an] extent." (3)
Zero Punctuation likes Orange Box, but loves Portal
We've gotten used to the saucy Brit named Yahtzee hating whatever he reviews in his Zero Punctuation pieces for the Escapist; so imagine our surprise when a little ray of sunshine crept into the latest video (found after the break). This week Yahtzee tackles The Orange Box and generally seems dismissive of the whole thing -- except for Portal, which he loves. Yes, even ornery Yahtzee has sold out and is having a love-fest with the game, just like many on the Joystiq staff.Regarding Portal, the typically acid tongued Yahtzee says, "[Portal is] the most fun you'll have with your PC until they invent a force feedback codpiece." The Orange Box seems to have a little something for everyone, even for people like Yahtzee. Now how long will it be before the Portal theme song becomes a spontaneous geek sing-along anthem at every gaming convention?
Play Team Fortress 2 with Valve this Friday
We've been unapologetic about our love for The Orange Box, so we have to admit to being a little conflicted about an event this Friday that will allow you to play some Team Fortress 2 against the Valve team on Xbox Live. Sure, it would be neat to have a chat with them, but when we're staring down the barrel of a chain gun at someone who's brought us so much joy, we're not convinced we'll be able to pull the trigger. The event kicks off on Friday at 6 p.m. EDT, and we've provided a full list of gamer tags after the break if you want to take part. Just do us a favor, OK? If you see someone firing a gun into the air and screaming Point Break-style, just go ahead and ignore us, alright? We'll pull through.
Valve makes patch for Team Fortress 2 lag on 360
The only problem is that you don't have it yet. Valve knows that some of you playing the Orange Box have experienced lag while playing 8-on-8 or 6-on6 Team Fortress 2 games, and they've reacted quickly, making a title update for the game designed to fix the issues.Now, the title update must make it through the gauntlet of Microsoft's certification process. Should it make it out alive, 1UP says you can probably expect the lag situation to be improved by this weekend or early next week. Good luck, little title update. We're rooting for you.
Today's most vertigo-inducing video: Portal Lvl. 13 Time Challenge
All we can say is, don't stand too close to the edge while watching this video. You'll slowly lose your equilibrium and tip over, falling into the void without a Portal gun to save your ass. In fact, we just watched it a second time, but made sure that our seatbelts were securely fastened, and that our tray tables were in the full upright and locked positions. We survived, and have now ordered a cocktail and another packet of peanuts with which we can calm our jittery nerves. Portal continues to stick out of every corner of The Orange Box as one of the coolest, and shortest, titles we've ever played. We'd love to see some new levels made available on a regular basis, as well as some FPS that will let us use the Portal gun on unsuspecting foes. Bring it on.
Portal transformed into a Flash game
There are only two groups of people reading this: People who haven't tried Portal yet, and people who have beaten it and desperately want more. (On the off, off chance you've only started Portal -- what are you doing? Stop reading the internet and go play more!) For the rest of you though, you may be able to find a couple of minutes of diversion (or solace) from Portal: The Flash Game.Sure, this version may lack it's big brother's sense of humor and 3D graphics, but what is here actually manages to catch the Portal gameplay experience fairly well. Heck, the portals even sound the same. If you've just finished the brilliant game, this Flash outing might just bum you out more, like looking at pictures of an ex-boyfriend, or a recently-euthanized family pet. But we're more than grateful for the shot of methadone to help us kick our addiction. [Thanks, BPMΩ]
Metareview: The Orange Box (PC, Xbox 360)
Valve may have the most deficient understanding of episodic gaming EVAR(!), but they are masters of smoke and mirrors marketing. Valve made us completely lose focus on Half-Life 2: Episode 2 being in The Orange Box (YAY!) by bundling so much gaming goodness in the package, that instead of us cracking jokes about their episodic incompetence, we end up calling The Orange Box the gaming value of the year -- 'cause it is with Half-Life 2, Episodes 1 and 2, Portal and Team Fortress 2. Sure, if you've played Half-Life 2 on your PC it might not be such a fantastic value, but for console owners (minus those that played Half-Life 2 on the original Xbox) this is their first go at HL2 and its episodes. GameTap (100/100): "If your PC isn't quite up to snuff, the Xbox 360 version is a good substitute. Occasional framerate hitches, plus one minor gaffe with the gamepad (weapon selection) are the only things dragging down the 360 version. That, and it has freaking 99 Achievements spread across all five games. Due to the delay of the PS3 version, we haven't played it yet, but we'll update you when we do." Team Xbox (96/100): "So, is The Orange Box the best bargain in gaming? While there might be longer games (Oblivion, for example) or games that pack more titles onto a single disc (any of the 'classic' compilations), this is a near-perfect blend of varied games. ... Although this is undeniably one of the must-own games for the Xbox 360, we have a few questions. Will we be getting Episode Three over Xbox Live? And where's our Counter-Strike: Source?" IGN (95/100): "There's nothing else available on any console like The Orange Box. Though you could argue that Half-Life 2 is old news by now, there are still four components of the Box brand new to consoles. That so much great content is offered at the standard single-game price is astonishing ... And all on one disc. While Portal and TF2 may not be strong enough to stand on their own, coupled with the Half-Life titles, The Orange Box really is one of the best games ever released."
Team Fortress 2 video: Meet the Demoman
The fourth in Valve's series of Team Fortress 2 class videos has emerged, this time showcasing the Demoman. So far, the Demoman has received very little fanfare, with nary a bit of video footage in sight. Sure, we all like riddling things with bullets as the Heavy, or letting our turrets do it for us as the Engineer, but what about the pure, visceral joy of blowing stuff up? Yeah, the Soldier has a rocket launcher, but what about real explosive death? That's where the Demoman comes in. Rather than spoil the video for you, we'll simply direct you to watch it with your heads full of eyeballs.[Thanks, Sunny]
Joystiq hands-on: Team Fortress 2
We know that a lot of you who pre-ordered the game through Steam have already been playing around with the beta version of Team Fortress 2. We just wanted to put this message out to those of you who may still be on the fence. We've been enjoying the beta version of the game for a while now and, to put it mildly, we're extremely impressed.Let us give you the quick version, if you're a complete TFC noob. Two teams, each competing for one objective. Each team is populated by very different classes of characters, each with their own special abilities. Team Fortress Classic is one of the all-time favorite multiplayer shooters, and as 1/3 (or 1/5, depending on your view) of the Orange Box, TF2 is looking to reinvent the game.%Gallery-1634%
Orange Box unlocking 'just after' midnight Wednesday
Sure, Valve's Orange Box releases this week, and many gamers might be heading down to the local big box, sitting in traffic, listening to some sports radio (nerd option: Zelda tunes, Halo soundtrack), dreading the march though the incandescently lit store to the game section only to find ... an empty slot where the object of your desire should be, but isn't! Fortunately, if you pre-loaded or purchased Orange Box on Steam, you won't have to worry about that scenario, get the game just after midnight on Wednesday, and save some gas to boot.Valve has announced they'll be unlocking Orange Box "just after midnight Pacific time ... on October 10th," giving Steam purchasers the chance enjoy some release (late) night gaming. That means you might be stumbling into work as a raccoon-eyed, sleep deprived zombie, but hey, you were the MVP in TFC2! Totally worth it.[Via ars technica]
Shipping this week: fall colors edition
And the flood of new releases keeps on, um, flooding. This week's headlining title is easily The Orange Box from Valve and EA. Boasting what is probably the most bang for you gaming buck this year, The Orange Box contains Half-Life 2, Half-Life 2 Episodes One and Two, Portal, and Team Fortress 2. That's five bits of gaming goodness for one delicious price. Well, it's not a delicious price, but just remember that you'd be expected to pay the same price for just one of the other games being released this week. Speaking of other titles, let's have a look at all the games being released this week. The Orange Box FIFA Soccer 08 Sega Rally Revo Looney Tunes ACME Arsenal Thrillville: Off the Rails Now, go forth and purchase. The consumer machine demands it.[Via Joystiq]
New games this week: Orange Box edition
See, these are the weeks that picking the top release is easy. The Orange Box looks to be one of the best games of the year, but, more importantly, it looks to be one of the best gaming values. And we're all about the value here on Joystiq. We'd clip coupons, if our hands weren't already horribly misshapen and arthritis-ridden from decades of clipping coupons. Yeah ... we're pretty hardcore. PS3 is getting an interesting release too, with Folklore. Check out all the releases after the break.%Gallery-1634%
Orange Box includes single by geek troubadour Jonathan Coulton
As if the inclusion of Half-Life 2, HL2: Episode One, HL2: Episode Two, Portal, and Team Fortress 2 in Valve's Orange Box didn't already represent one of the most incredible values in video games ever, they've just announced geek troubadour Jonathan Coulton (he of "Baby Got Back" and "Code Monkey" fame – WARNING: MySpace link) has recorded a "surprise" track to be included in that massive package.But Coulton didn't go it alone. No, he had the help of the Valve design team (who are apparently fans, go figure) so we can surely expect something about Zombines eating your brains. At this point, with less than a week to go before the game's (games'? gameses'?) release, we're surprised the track hasn't already made its way to the seedy, illicit , peer-to-peer underbelly of the internet. Hey record industry, you should take notes!
Drool: Orange Box goes gold!
The wait is almost over, as Valve's The Orange Box mega-compilation has gone gold! October 10 is the date to circle on your calendars, as the package (which comes stuffed with Half-Life 2, Episodes 1 and 2, Portal and Team Fortress 2) heads to retail that day for both Xbox 360 and PC. The recently delayed PS3 version is still expected to ship a few weeks later. Maybe now the folks at Valve can take a break and finally deal with those Little Sisters.In case you've been living under a rock, The Orange Box will retail for $50 for the PC at retail, with the console variety demanding a bit more from your wallet with a "next-gen price" of $60. Of course, those who pre-purchased the collection over Steam will enjoy an additional 10% cost savings, though it's likely they're too wrapped up in the Team Fortress 2 beta to care.%Gallery-1634%
