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The ghostly creature hovered in the air, quietly chewing on a chocolate chip cookie. Her iridescent wings flapped in slow, lazy arcs. "And you don't know where you got her?" Lolegolas asked. "No clue at all?" "None," Throgg confirmed. "I just opened up my pet bag and poof. There she was. She'...

1 year ago 0 Comments
May 17, 2013 at 3:00PM
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"Throgg, we're supposed to be finding your dog." "Our dog." "Your dog," Lolegolas countered. "What are you doing in there? We're in a hurry." "It's an outhouse," Throgg replied from behind the wooden door. "It's the Throne of Thunder. What do you think I'm doing?" "Forging Deep Thunde...

2 years ago 0 Comments
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Wandering through the isles of Pandaria, Throgg and Lolegolas are making a slow but inevitable trip toward Miranda. But for now, we'll enjoy some shock, awww, and general fun with their journey. The druid jogged down the hill to catch up with the dyanamic duo. He stopped short when he saw the ...

2 years ago 0 Comments
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When last we left our heroes, they were derailed by Diablo III. Because that certainly hasn't happened to anyone else. Unfortunately, their erstwhile trip to Sanctuary means Miranda remains in captivity. "Your friends are taking a long time to mount a rescue," the shadowy man said. "I expected...

2 years ago 0 Comments
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As we now transition to a new chapter of the story, the narrator will take a moment and indulge in literary thievery -- I mean, literary homage. Well, not really literary, since I'm stealing from a different medium, but I've always liked the idea -- and shut up and read it already, OK? In patc...

2 years ago 0 Comments
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When we last left our heroes, Throgg was complaining about Garrosh, essentially proving his membership in the Horde ... or, alternatively, proving his membership in the Alliance. Hatred of Garrosh is a unifying force in Azeroth, similar to love of Legos in the real world. The four rode into Ti...

3 years ago 0 Comments
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When last we left our valiant heroes, Throgg was making bad jokes. As a result, we'll be taking a slightly more serious approach this week and give those puns a chance to come off cooldown. Also, SOPA bad. The Gilnean and Miranda both slept in their respective tents. Lolegolas chalked it up to...

3 years ago 0 Comments
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Ashenvale creaked as impossibly large trees swayed in the afternoon breeze. The Worgen druid glanced appreciatively at the forest as he rejoined Throgg and Lolegolas. "The innkeep was surprisingly pudgy for a Night Elf," the druid said. "But he did say a pair of Tauren passed through here rece...

3 years ago 0 Comments
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Throgg turned over the Necklace of Fetishes in his hand. When he'd explained more about the object, the Gilnean quickly waved his hands in the air frantically. "I don't need to know," the druid claimed. Now, though, Lolegolas stood in the middle of the room, carefully examining his bullets. "T...

3 years ago 0 Comments
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Throgg slid the plate boots onto his feet with a triumphant jerk. "They fit well." Lolegolas nodded in agreement before taking another sip of tea. His hands were shaking visibly, and the tea threatened to slosh over the side. "We can ignore the reflective top and assume you won't be tucking yo...

3 years ago 0 Comments
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Throgg and the druid sat around a campfire. Turkey roasted on a spit, and the worgen sipped quietly from his tea cup. "I will give this much to your Warchief," the druid said, flipping a piece of cloth in his hands. "The Hood of Disgrace will be an elegant message." "It's not going to go we...

3 years ago 0 Comments
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Throgg sat waiting in Orgrimmar. It had been a long time since the big orc had visited the capital city of his people, so he was understandably nervous. The druid reclined on the floor. A few orcs had commented on Throgg's "kitty," but they all seemed to take the feline at face value. "Pardon,...

3 years ago 0 Comments
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The worgen was clearly drunk, but at least it seemed to be sleeping soundly. "And you say, this was the puppy you had in mind?" Lolegolas asked. The blood elf had the urge to poke the sleeping werewolf with a stick, but he fought it down without much trouble. "Let me be clear here, though. Did...

3 years ago 0 Comments
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"Oh my god, Throgg," Lolegolas gasped. "What have you done to yourself?" "It's me hat! It is, specifically, Burgy Blackheart's Handsome Hat!" the ex-orc exclaimed. The orc had changed. Where once stood a powerful, green example of the Horde now swaggered a chest-high pirate gnome. "I'm a sword-s...

4 years ago 0 Comments
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"I'm not wearing it," Lolegolas said. "It's just not happening." "But you're a spell guy now," Throgg countered. "You cast spells and stuff. Like, lightning bolts and fireballs. Magic missile. You're very impressive, and this is a very impressive cloak." "Throgg, look at it," Lolegolas said, ...

4 years ago 0 Comments
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"Elune," Throgg muttered. "I've never prayed you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad, why we fought, or why we died." "Throgg," Lolegolas interrupted. "Seriously, it's just cookies. They're not going to kill you." "All that matters i...

4 years ago 0 Comments
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"I never figured you for the type to pay Alimony," Lolegolas sighed. He propped his jaw up on his fist as he wistfully watched his orc friend. "I'm kind of hurt you never told me." "Not like that," Throgg countered. The orc waved a meaty hand in denial. "It's from pirate named Tony Two-Tusk. He'...

4 years ago 0 Comments
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"Throgg, you better sit down," Lolegolas said quietly. The blood elf was draped in voluminous velour robes tied with a thick silk belt. "I have something for you." The orc looked up at his well-coiffed friend and took a seat on a bench. "What is that?" "Your father's sabre," the blood elf sol...

4 years ago 0 Comments
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"Wow," Lolegolas said. "Another sword, huh?" Throgg looked up from where he'd been busily grooming his monobrow with his tongue. "What you mean, little belfling?" "You have a different sword again," Lolegolas said. He tossed his flowing locks over his shoulder, revealing the glittering perfec...

4 years ago 0 Comments