wiinjuries
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Wii blamed for ridiculous increase in British hospital visits
Nintendo's Wii has been maiming careless gamers since the day it was launched, but an inexplicable uptick in Britain has professionals scratching their heads. According to Dr. Dev Mukerjee of Broomfield Hospital: "There has been a 100 percent increase in patients complaining of Wii-itis." Turns out, Wii-itis is their word for playing so much Wii that you injure yourself. Astonishingly, up to ten people per week are being "hospitalized with injuries caused by playing Nintendo Wii games," which has forced medical personnel to "issue warnings of the dangers associated with the video game system." Some of the most common injuries are Wii-knee (seriously) and tendon stretching / tearing, both of which could likely be avoided if gamers would bother to stretch before breaking a sweat. Sheesh -- what do folks even learn in Physical Education these days?
Wii-tarded wiinjurie jokes escalating
First came the snapping straps, then the secret replacements, which were upstaged by the proliferation of fake wiinjuries and the class action lawsuit. It's funny that it's all become stupid in record internet time. Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt. Yup, we've got T-shirts already! At this rate the life cycle of this story will end within a couple weeks -- only to be resurrected by the mainstream media in, um, let's say two months. We'll talk about this all again at that time when ... oh heck, you guys make up the rest. What's the mainstream story going to be like? Get all FOX news creative on us.
Wii Tennis destroys girl's knee
No doubt growing tired of assaulting the smiling, unprotected face of its owner, the Wii console now turns its cataclysmic death beam to more useful parts of the human anatomy. One unlucky lady discovered this during a recent session of Wii Sports Tennis when her knee suddenly ceased functioning in a natural way. According to the testimony on Wii Have A Problem, the destructive console conspired with the high heels she was wearing at the time and ultimately brought her down to her dislocated knee.With the inclusion of an additional photo of paramedics surrounding the injured player, we once again have to consider the possibility of this being a fake injury (and one that could just as easily have occurred in a Dance Dance Revolution session). Perhaps it's time for our savvy readers to confirm or debunk this one. What say you?
Nintendo replacing 3.2 million wrist straps
Nintendo is biting the bullet and replacing 3.2 million Wiimote straps with thicker, stronger straps, in an effort to put a stop to TV damage and gamer injuries alike. The original straps, which were 0.6 millimeter (0.024 inch) diameter, are being upgraded to a thicker 1 millimeter (0.04 inch) strap. In order to acquire your new strap, you'll want to fill out Nintendo's replacement form and send it off right away, which will result in a new, beefier strap arriving in your mail box. Personally, we felt the original straps were more than adequate, however in light of all the reported injuries and damage to property, we're not surprised by Nintendo's recall.[Via Joystiq; thanks to all that sent this in!]
