april-fools-09
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Braid II totally rips time a new one
Sorry, your high-res photo is in another castle Oh, April Fools, how funny you can sometimes be. This year's April issue of Game Informer had one of the more comical tricks in Braid II, the magazine's featured cover story. It would appear that Tim has spent his time between the first game and its sequel in the gym, totally getting ripped. With his delts and pecs in order, he can now finally set out to do what he always wanted to do: make time his bitch.
The best of WoW Insider: March 31 - April 7, 2009
That big baddie above is rumored to be the second boss in the Vault of Archavon, an instance in Northrend that can only be reached when either the Horde or the Alliance conquer the contested territory of Wintergrasp. He looks dangerous, no? But worry not -- whether you're fighting for the Orcs or the Humans, Joystiq's WoW Insider has tips, tricks, and everything you need to conquer the Vault of Archavon or anywhere else in the World of Warcraft. Read on for some of our most popular posts. News WoW Insider's Guide to Patch 3.1We're closer than ever to the next big content patch -- which means we know more than ever about what's in it. April Fools 2009 roundupA bevy of Warcraft-related jokes from the 4/1 holiday last week. WoW subscriber numbers still increasing, multiboxers trivialThe devs confirm that the number of people in Azeroth is still going up. Noblegarden tentatively rescheduled for April 26thBlizzard goes a little late on a patch, so it actually reschedules the in-game Easter holiday. Battle.net login servers down again tonightBlizzard just recently transferred lots of player accounts onto the new Battle.net servers, but apparently they weren't quite up to the job. Features Opinion: 25-man gear should not be better than 10-man gearThe 10-man raids are actually harder than the 25-mans. So why is the gear worse? WoW Rookie: Gaming terminology 101Don't know your "LFG" from your "PST"? Let WoW Rookie help. The Art of War(craft): Wintergrasp in patch 3.1 and beyondAll the news that's fit to print on the changes to the game's most popular battleground. Guildwatch: A kinder, gentler GWFor April Fool's Day, our guild drama column decides to focus on the positive instead. Lichborne: Tradeskills for Death KnightsProfession help for former members of Arthas' army.
April Fools 2009 Roundup
April Fools.I like it and I don't.It can sometimes be hard to distinguish between real news and fake news, especially with some of the elaborate schemes people do in order to make the fake stuff seem as real as possible. And there's a lot of it too. Google and Blizzard win the day, as usual. C.A.D.I.E anyone? The page is a throwback to the 1990s Geocities pages many of us made back then. My Geocities site had to do with Star Trek and lots of other nerdy stuff, although someone on staff had a Digimon site (I'm not telling who...).After the break you can check out our list of all the April Fools jokes that went on yesterday that pertained to WoW. And for posterity's sake we've taken as many snapshots of the pages as we could and put them in a nice gallery so 10 years from now we can all look back and go "Aww... isn't that... /facepalm."%Gallery-49097%
April Fools: StarCraft II's Terran base is more than meets the eye
It's the biggest StarCraft II announcement since the game itself -- and would make Michael Bay proud. Blizzard today unveiled the largest unit to date in its RTS franchise: the Terran Terra-Tron. This hulking bipedal war machine is actually built from the combined pieces of an entire Terran base. The base "transforms," if you will.As if its sheer mass and weapons load-out weren't enough to intimidate Zerg and Protoss adversaries, the thing speaks. Phrases such as, "Hell, it's transformin' time" and "Terra-Tron, terrorize!" should turn any rush into a retreat. Blizzard has videos of the Terra-Tron doing big things on the game's official site -- but hurry, it might be gone come April 2.[Via BigDownload]
April Fools: Chains of Olympus contains hidden 'Cube of War' mode
Hot off its "Best Handheld Game" win at the 2009 Game Developer Choice Awards, Ready at Dawn has divulged the existence of a previously undiscovered mode within God of War: Chains of Olympus. Called "Cube of War," it allows players to take on the game's menagerie of murderous malcontents as ... an Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube.RAD isn't saying how the deal to get the Cube in the game -- and out of Portal -- was struck, but it does have instructions on unlocking this tasty (like cake) triumph: "if you finish Chains of Olympus in god mode, no upgrades, and collect all the urns of power twice without dying you open up the companion cube as a hidden character." If you can muster that, we'd consider it a huge success. If you can't, at least watch what you're missing after the break.
April Fools 09: SOE gets silly
The fun thing about checking out the different pranks and events in SOE's various titles is just trying to chase all of them down. Sure, some of them are patently obvious like the class name changes in EverQuest, but others were a bit more subtle and took some looking to notice. Curious as to the various things we noticed? Have something you'd like to add to the mix of all the SOE April Fools' hilarity? Join us after the break for a quick run-down of what we found.
April Fools: Helghast find love in Lovezone
Killzone isn't just about death and destruction. No, the Helghan world is just like our own, with stories of peril, triumph ... and love. Black20, in collaboration with IGN, have created a trailer for a fictional romance set in the Killzone universe. "Lovezone" tells the touching story of how two Helghast can meet on the battlefield, and the struggles they must overcome to realize their love. Check it out after the break. [Thanks, Jay!]
April Fools: id reveals World of Quake Live
Imagine our surprise today when we tried to log into Quake Live for our usual 10 a.m. session of noob-fraggin' therapy, only to discover the image above. id has decided to do away with rocket jumping and replace it with epic mount riding, as it has revealed World of Quake Live. Much like the game of a similar name, this title promises epic mounts with up to four weapon slots (you can stack them with four BFGs!), as well as a new leveling system. Oh, and Aspir from Ludicrous Speed calls this the "best game evar." You should listen. Dude totally knows what he's talking about.
April Fools' 09: City of Heroes goes old school
Have you ever felt that the character customization options in City of Heroes are just too much? Sometimes they can just be too overwhelming, right? I mean, who wants to sit there and make a character that looks different from everyone else? Seriously, that's such a burden. So NCsoft has solved this problem with their newly announced City of Heroes: Golden Age. We think the premise behind CoH:GA is summed-up best by Lead Artist Ken Morse, "I think City of Heroes: Golden Age brings with it a level of detail that simply can not be accomplished with even the latest advancements in graphics technology."Of course this is just an April Fools' prank, but it's one of the best! The tricksters at NCsoft NorCal have done a fine job tickling our nostalgia bone while bringing a smile to our faces. Check out the complete "news announcement" on their main site, and be sure to read through the text-based interface screenshots to bring back some memories. Give yourself ten points if you laughed at the Hayes-compatible modem reference, too.
April Fools: Awesome handheld Witcher teased
CD Projekt RED, developer of The Witcher, and self-proclaimed "world's leading developer of games with 'The Witcher' in their title," announced the next title in its portfolio today. Currently in development for "all current-gen, next-gen and gen-after-next-gen handheld systems," The Witcher: Mysterious Secrets looks to marry the world of The Witcher with 8-bit processing power, 32-colors (though "half of the colours are not visible because the platform supports only 16 colours") and in a first for the Witcher franchise, downloadable content. Though little is known about the DLC as of yet, the company has already taken a firm stance on it, saying, "Yeah, DLC on a handheld. You wanna fight about it?"The game certainly sounds ... ambitious ... but the development team seems vigilant when they say in the developer diary (after the break), "We all realize that handhelds are far more powerful than PCs and consoles all put together, but thanks to this move, we'll be able to break through all the barriers we've encountered so far." We'll keep you updated as we near the game's release window, currently slated for "between Tuesday and Friday 2010."
April Fools' 09: Star Trek... Babies?
Sure enough, Cryptic has decided to get in on the April Fools shenanigans with today's announcement on the Star Trek Online site. In it, they are claiming that they've opted for a complete revamp in the direction they're taking STO, in the desire to make it a little less 'hardcore and strategic'. Dubbed Star Trek Babies Online, we can't help but flash back to Saturday morning cartoons and start singing the theme to Muppet Babies with "Star Trek Babies" over top of it in our heads. Shenanigans? Most definitely. But we have to admit, the idea of baby Klingons made us laugh pretty hard. Be sure to pop over there and check out all the 'new' screenshots and the revamped logo just in case they go away tomorrow.
April Fools: Bungie introduces BUNGLE, blows up your mind
Bungie takes the tournament scene seriously. How seriously? Enough to develop its own gaming league focusing on the niche shooter, Halo 3. How niche is it? It only sold a few million copies and there are a lot of people in the world. How many people? Stop asking so many questions. Google it, we don't know.Bungie's new venture, the Bungie Ultimate Ninja Gaming League Extreme is poised to set the world on fire. Those brave enough to walk out of their mother's basement and into the fog of war are free to sign up now. A word of warning, though: You may want to practice your skill on any of the BUNGLE-approved maps -- designed by Bungie, creator of BUNGLE (and developer of Halo 3).So, finish off your lunch burrito, wipe the shm?tz from your face and get ready to re-begin the fight you previously thought had been finished. BUNGLE is here and it's gonna tear you a new one.
April Fools: Behold! Diablo III's Archivist
Forget the pen being mightier than the sword. A single "shush" uttered from the lips of the Archivist packs enough punch to burst the guts of Sanctuary's most disorderly beasts. The fourth of five Diablo III character classes was revealed today, in historic fashion. So saith the annals of Abd al-Hazir: "These brave souls wade into battle wielding tome and quill, armored not in ensorcelled plate or links of chain, but in the knowledge of generations past. These archivists fight not only for our future, but for our past as well." The Archivist schools evil with such learned powers as the Lorenado and Quest Bolt, complimented by witty dialogue tree choices like "I've dropped knowledge" and "Test me and I will chronicle your pain." Man, somebody please point us to the library where this guy got his game![Thanks, Luis]
Public Service Announcement: WIM's modem sounds are a joke
We're going to cover all the April Fools jokes from around the WoW community tomorrow (after they're over so we're sure we don't miss too many), but I wanted to take a moment to give a PSA about the WoW Instant Messenger add-on.When you log into the game today, and if you're updated to the latest version, you'll hear a modem sound ring across your speakers. This is a joke, this is only a joke, and you have no need to be alarmed. We've gotten many tips in about this, mainly people thinking that it's the Confiker virus which was supposed to start today. Well, it's not. And from the look of things Confiker is bust too (at least for now). So you're safe and okay, and can be angry that you've been had by an add-on author. Or just laugh about it, which is what I've done.The author has even come out and said this is a joke, and is offering an apology to anyone upset by this.
(Not?) April Fools: Red Faction Guerrilla gains 'Ostrich Hammer'
Game developers aren't robots. If you cut them, they'll bleed. And so it went when the Sweeney Todds over at NeoGAF started teasing some early stills of Red Faction: Guerrilla. They cut and series developer Volition bled ... creativity! It all makes more sense after watching the video above. If you've ever shared our sentiment that today's multiplayer action games are heavy on metal (and/or energy-based) projectiles and short on bird-based bludgeoning, the Ostrich Hammer has been lovingly crafted with you in mind. Bon appétit!Update: When asked if the weapon would be unlockable in the final game, Volition's community manager told us, "We're just waiting to see what the community reaction is and we'll proceed from there." Well, what are you waiting for, community? React! %Gallery-49055%
April Fools: Wii Fit Balance Board gag
As if convincing more people to buy Wii Fit than Halo 3 wasn't a big enough gag already, it looks like Nintendo's Balance Board has yet another yuk up its sleeve. If it had sleeves, anyway. Those who fire up Wii Fit today will be greeted with the April Fools' Day joke featured in the video above."Joke" might be too strong a word, actually. It's not really ha-ha funny so much as it's "Mom-would-like-this" funny. Of course, given Wii Fit's demographic, that might be the point ...
April Fools: Alpine Legend makes us yodel with joy
Though many different rhythm titles featuring nearly every imaginable genre of music have been released, we've yet to get our hands on anything that caters to our ... peculiar melodic desires. Thankfully, developer Snowy Top Productions will finally fulfill our falsetto fancy with their upcoming 360-exclusive yodel simulator, Alpine Legend. We've got the debut trailer posted after the break, but to learn about the game's intriguing mountain goat expansion, you'll need to go to the official site.We actually got our hands on this bad boy at GDC, but haven't been able to discuss it due to an embargo. We understand your skepticism, but trust us, once you're blazing through "Ricola" on Expert, you'll be filled with a sense of righteous badassitude that you've never experienced before.[Thanks, ugotamesij!]
April Fools' Day 09: Second Life users pull the other one
April Fools' Day is quite the hodge-podge in Second Life. Linden Lab doesn't generally pull pranks on the user-population (some may disagree with us on that) but there are hordes of different groups and communities, and even a relatively low percentage of hoaxers lead to literally hundreds of hoaxes, almost all of which are spread by word-of-mouth. We'll quickly round up some of the most common gags that are going around this year (a few of which are perennials). Linden Lab is going back to charging for teleportation (the sum of L$1 per teleport). This one's formatted as a press-release, though the grammar is quirky enough to be a tip-off. Besides, this one came around the last two years as well. Linden Lab has been purchased outright by [Microsoft/Activision-Blizzard/Electric Sheep/7-11/NCsoft/AOL/Worlds.com/IBM].
April Fools: Jack Thompson wants government to legalize gamer murder
You may think he's a stick in the mud, but Jack Thompson does have a sense of humor. Want proof? Hot on the news of a slaying that may be connected to GTA, JT wrote us to say: "This is a switch, as it is typically the chronic players of these murder simulators that kill people - lots of people. In light of this new and welcome development, Miami anti-violent video game activist today puts forth a modest proposal to curtail sales of the Grand Theft Auto video games: Anyone who shoots and kills a player of the Grand Theft Auto video games gets a) a full pardon and b) a $5000 federal income tax credit because of the killer's successful efforts to reduce pollution."A hilarious call for mass murder in the wake of an actual tragedy and a classic literature reference? Be still our hearts.
April Fools: Nintendo releasing M-rated Smash Bros.
Well, we guess this is one way to show the hardcore that you haven't abandoned them. The always-dependable IGN says that Nintendo is rolling out the new "Wii Expand" service with Super Smash Bros. Brawl X: Extreme, a super-violent take on the company's party fighter.When it really comes out because it's really real, SSBBX:E will allow Link to decapitate Mario. So, yeah, it's going to be the best game ever.
