jokes

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  • Simpsons 4x3 episodes coming in correct format by May

    Disney+ will stop cropping old 'Simpsons' episodes in May

    by 
    Steve Dent
    Steve Dent
    04.03.2020

    Disney angered Simpsons fans by airing pre-2009 episodes in widescreen, but it has promised the fix the issue by May this year.

  • Get the weather and a joke thanks to Funny or Die Weather app

    by 
    Mel Martin
    Mel Martin
    01.22.2015

    And now for something completely different. It's a nicely performing weather app, with weather sourced from Weather Underground, and along with the weather you get a joke or funny anecdote. The app, Funny Or Die Weather (free) has the usual stuff you want from a weather app, like current weather, a 5 day forecast, the UV index, sunset and sunrise times, moon phases and tides, but along with that are some nice animations reflecting the current weather and a joke. Sometimes it's silly, sometime a little profane or sarcastic, and it is sure to at least make you grin. It doesn't matter if the weather is good or horrible, a joke will always be there. If you like the humor, you can share it via text, email or social media. You can add multiple locations to the app by zip code or city name, and each city will have different humor when you access it. Funny or Die Weather is certainly unique, and it's free, with no in-app purchases or ads, neither of which would be truly funny. Funny or Die Weather requires iOS 8, and it is optimized for the new iPhones so you get full screen humor. Recommended.

  • The Daily Grind: What was your favorite April Fools' Day prank?

    by 
    Justin Olivetti
    Justin Olivetti
    04.02.2014

    You might not have noticed, but yesterday was April Fools' Day, and in the MMO industry that means a lot of studios blowing off steam by being abnormally silly and trying to trick players with weird promises. Some people like the goofs, some don't, but I'm willing to bet that there was at least one that got your nod of approval. So what was your favorite April Fools this year? Did you get genuinely tricked by anything or find yourself laughing in delight at the cleverness of developers? Every morning, the Massively bloggers probe the minds of their readers with deep, thought-provoking questions about that most serious of topics: massively online gaming. We crave your opinions, so grab your caffeinated beverage of choice and chime in on today's Daily Grind!

  • Guild Wars 2 inflates your character's head

    by 
    Eliot Lefebvre
    Eliot Lefebvre
    04.01.2014

    So everyone thought that Guild Wars 2 was just going to do Super Adventure Box again. But no, this year is going a different route. After all, you're super important in the game, aren't you? So why not let all of that importance go straight to your cranium? The designers have turned on the game's big head mode, and it's probably going to significantly improve your experience within the game as a whole. Maybe. Who knows, it could happen. The point is that the super adventure is now in your skull, which is greatly engorged, and you can log into the game right now to start playing with the biggest head your character has ever had in Tyria. Bigger even than Trahearne's head! Check out the full infographic on the update just past the break (click for a larger version) and enjoy the new visuals as you head into battle. [Source: ArenaNet press release]

  • FlapMMO brings non-combat gameplay to new heights

    by 
    Eliot Lefebvre
    Eliot Lefebvre
    02.12.2014

    For years, players have sought MMOs that truly offered a combat-free experience. FlapMMO, a massively multiplayer version of the sadly defunct Flappy Bird (not officially sanctioned), is that rare gem that delivers precisely that. In fact, it delivers everything you could ask for in the genre -- no combat, no levels, and a wide-open world to simply explore. It even offers exclusively horizontal progression (since that's the way the screen scrolls, you can't go backward). If all this sounds too good to be true, you should consider also the fact that the game is entirely free-to-play without so much as a cash shop. Chat functions are currently limited, as is character customization, but there's no word from the developer on whether or not this is part of the design or something that will be addressed in the first expansion. You might want to consider giving this wide-open combat-free exploration simulator a try if you've got some free time on your hands.

  • The 5 best pranks to play on anyone with an iPhone

    by 
    Mike Wehner
    Mike Wehner
    02.07.2014

    Do you feel like having some fun at the expense of your iPhone-toting friends? There are a number of nasty things you can do to anyone with a mobile phone -- switching contact numbers, for example -- but there are a few special tricks you can pull on those with the iPhone, and here are the best of the best. Note: These tricks apply to iOS 7, so if your friend is still stuck on iOS 6 or earlier, you're out of luck. Auto incorrect This one has been around for a while, but it's still one of the most confusing for people who don't know about the iPhone's auto-shortcut feature. Grab the victims phone (preferably without them knowing) and head to the settings page. From here, go to "General" and then "Keyboard," and find the "Shortcuts" menu. Here you can manipulate your friend's text input to do pretty much whatever you want. You can set any single word to automatically change into another word or even an entire phrase. You can make some mild tweaks like changing "are" to correct to "our" and "there" to "they're," which will simply make your friend appear as though they never passed fifth grade English class, or you can get a bit more brutal... The old switcheroo This is one of the easiest to pull off and it takes just a few seconds. Under the Accessibility menu, invert the phone's colors and then back out to the home screen. Believe it or not, there are plenty of iPhone owners who don't even know that this feature exists, which will lead to a whole lot of confusion once they try to use their phone. Unclickable icons You're going to need at least a minute or two with the victim's phone for this, so make sure you won't get caught before you begin. Start by taking a screenshot of the user's home screen (home button + lock button). Then, hide all but one of the user's home page icons on another page or in a folder and tuck it away somewhere that it won't be seen unless searched for. Keep the top-left icon in place, or else the phone may push all the icons from the next page onto the home screen, which will ruin things. Now, set that home page screenshot as the home screen wallpaper. Ta-da! You've now made a home screen populated by unclickable icons! Note: If the user has the parallax 3D effect enabled, they might figure it out sooner than usual, but you should still get at least a few laughs out of it. The never-ending text This is a great trick you can play on an iPhone owner without ever needing to touch their smartphone. There's nothing that boosts an iPhone user's anticipation like the "your chat partner is typing" animation during an instant message conversation. The evil geniuses at Miscellaneous Mischief ripped that animation from the messaging app and created an animated gif out of it. Now you can send the image to your iPhone-owning friends and watch their frustration build as your "message" never comes through. Evil and easy; a perfect combination! Lock them in! This one requires access to the user's device and a few minutes of your time as well, but the results will definitely be worth it. First, go into the Accessibility menu and turn on Guided Access. Now go into whatever app you want to lock the victim into. Triple-click the home button to enable Guided Access, which will prevent the user from stopping the app or backing out to the home screen. The phone will prompt you for a passcode as well, so only you will be able to free your friend's phone from the app you have chosen. Want to really mess things up? Open a music app like Spotify, crank the volume all the way up, press play, then use Guided Access to block the areas of the screen that control the tunes. Now after you lock the app, there is no way to turn off the music. The phone won't respond to being put in silent mode or the volume controls on the side, and it also can't be turned off with the power button. Try this in a public place like a restaurant to really cause a scene. Or, you can just use the screen-blocking feature to write a cheeky message on the screen. [Header image credit: Siraf72]

  • Why World of Warcraft passed on April Fools' Day this year

    by 
    Eliot Lefebvre
    Eliot Lefebvre
    04.04.2013

    World of Warcraft usually puts together some pretty ornate pranks for the first of April. It's hard to forget about the console version of Molten Core, the Bard class, or the Tinfoil Hat. This year, fans were treated to... well, nothing. That's a pretty dramatic departure, and it prompted community manager Zarhym to take to the field and answer the obvious question about why no one got to have a laugh this year. Zarhym explains that there were two main causes, the first being that the team simply hadn't come up with a joke that really stuck despite several ideas being bandied about. Add to that the fact that the team members usually responsible for assembling these jokes were otherwise occupied, and they were left without a joke and without people to implement the gag. So this year will go down as being sadly bereft of foolery from Blizzard.

  • Flameseeker Chronicles: Preparing for the Mad King in Guild Wars 2

    by 
    Elisabeth
    Elisabeth
    10.23.2012

    By now, Lion's Arch probably looks a little different than we're used to. It had already taken on a decidedly ghoulish cast in Guild Wars by Friday, so I guess the Mad King's influence shifted by a few calendar days over the course of the 250 years between Guild Wars and Guild Wars 2. Longtime fans of the original game don't need a lot of convincing to get anxious for the fulfillment of the spooky foreshadowing that's been going on for the past week or two. For those of you whose knowledge of Tyrian lore is either developing or a wee bit rusty, let's take a look at what's in store. Let us begin with a question. Why can't you borrow money from a Dwarf?

  • Mists of Pandaria Beta: Pandaren flirts and jokes

    by 
    Anne Stickney
    Anne Stickney
    06.05.2012

    One of the things that players look forward to the most with new races is what the heck they're going to crack jokes about, exactly. Sure, we've had emotes in the Mists of Pandaria beta since the beta went live, but we didn't have any sounds to go with them -- until now. MMO-Champion dug up a host of new info from the latest beta patch, including all of the assorted jokes and flirts for both male and female pandaren. While I love the sound and feel of the male pandaren voice, the female version was lacking something for me. The voice sounds fine; it just feels like the voice sounds a little too mature for the model design. However, the female pandaren jokes have all but changed my mind on that front. There's some of the usual pop culture references and some truly inspired (and very funny) joking around in light of the pandaren critics out there.

  • April Fool's jokes streak across the MMO community

    by 
    Justin Olivetti
    Justin Olivetti
    04.01.2012

    It may be the weekend, but that's never stopped pranksters in the past from pulling off truly epic April Fool's jokes. Many MMO studios, bloggers, and fan site operators are lining up to take a shot at the jester's crown today, hoping that their blatant (and entertaining) lies will at least amuse, if not trick, players. It would be fool-hardy (har har) to try to round them all up, so suffice it to say that office clowns have been quite busy thus far. From Star Wars: The Old Republic's announcement of playable ship droids and City of Heroes' offer of ludicrous marketplace sales to Blizzard's focus on educational kids games and StarCraft 2's playable supply depots to SOE scaring visitors with Chatdy, the gags are flying fast and furious. We might be the most impressed with a deeply detailed wiki entry for a Guild Wars mission called Annihilator 2: Searing Day, during which players are sent into the past to save Gwen from the G-1000. If you've spotted any other pranks, please share them in the comments!

  • Storyboard: They all laughed

    by 
    Eliot Lefebvre
    Eliot Lefebvre
    01.13.2012

    Over the past 80-odd columns, I've covered ways to improve dramatic tension, to provide interesting character interplay, to improve out-of-character communication, and to enhance the experience of roleplaying. What I have not covered, somewhat to my surprise, is an important but often forgotten component of good roleplaying: humor. I realize that there are circles in which humor is anathema, where the mood moves between "somber" and "depressing" with nary a chuckle between, lightless pits into which no good cheer is allowed. Far be it from me to say that you're doing it wrong if you happen to be one of those people, but there's a reason why people don't want to join you in a roleplaying session. You guys are kind of depressing just to be around, and your roleplaying has all the verisimilitude of a goth kid's poetry while his parents are getting divorced. But let's not kid ourselves. Doing humor effectively anywhere is hard, and in roleplaying it's made even more difficult due to a variety of circumstances. So let's start out by examining some common pitfalls and laying some ideas down for what you can do to make your humor go over better in a game.

  • The Road to Mordor: Baggins of Bag End

    by 
    Justin Olivetti
    Justin Olivetti
    12.24.2011

    It's hard to believe that it's been 10 years to the month since The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring came out in movie theaters. It's even harder to process that Peter Jackson will be bringing us back to Middle-earth with the two Hobbit films starting a year from now. The Jackson trilogy, while beloved by many (including, I assume, gamers), hasn't gotten a lot of space in this column to date. The general consensus from the community is that the films and the MMO are separate interpretations of the same source material, and never the twain shall meet -- nevermind all the other LotR games, like War in the North. While that may be true, they do meet in the hearts of those who simply love this franchise. I adore the movies, am a huge fan of the game, and like (yes, just "like") the books. But I think that it's worthwhile to go to the films for LotRO players because they do give a different perspective and perhaps clarify a few plot points that shoot over our heads in-game. If nothing else, if the movies can revitalize our excitement about exploring the lands of Lord of the Rings Online, then they've done well by us. I mention all this because this past week saw the release of the first Hobbit trailer, which I must have watched a good dozen times, and it got me pumped up once more for this game world. In today's column, I want to use this trailer to springboard a discussion of how LotRO and the films share a common bond and how the Hobbit movies use many elements that Turbine's been working on for years now. Plus, a bonus Hobbit Tribute Tour!

  • Croteam looking for fan-written graffiti for Serious Sam 3

    by 
    Mike Schramm
    Mike Schramm
    07.20.2011

    In a press release so tongue-in-cheek we're worried about their jawlines, Croteam has announced that its "Lead In-Game Wall Graffiti Artist" has decided to quit the company, leaving an opening for ... well, you. We're pretty sure Croteam is just joking, but the outcome is that it's having a contest for secret graffiti in Serious Sam 3: BFE, asking fans to submit some quick quips that will actually be posted in the game's environments, coded in Arabic and hieroglyphics. You need to submit lines, either through Facebook or Twitter, by July 29, and the team's favorite lines will actually show up in the game. We were going to suggest the old standby "Kilroy was here," but someone on the Facebook page already posted that one, so we're out. Good luck to everyone else who enters!

  • French basketball team 'trains' with robots, learns how to 'win'

    by 
    Jesse Hicks
    Jesse Hicks
    05.16.2011

    To the list of French accomplishments you may now add "robot basketball training" -- at least if the video above is to be believed. But you probably shouldn't believe it when members of Poitiers Basket 86 testify that amusement park rides improved the team's "spatial orientation" and helped them defeat top-ranked Chalon. It'd be different if the "robots" were teaching them perfect free-throw or helping them walk, obviously, but PB86 is known for its innovative advertising, and this seems like a quirky example. Hit the video above to see the pranksters at work, but know that, as with Sartre and Camus, something gets lost in translation. [Thanks, Antoine]

  • Colbert has an iPad 2, already wants the iPad 3

    by 
    Mike Schramm
    Mike Schramm
    04.05.2011

    Stephen Colbert can finally eat and sleep apparently -- he was able to pick up his own iPad 2. And as you can see in the video below, he's thrilled with it. Sure, it's mostly just because it's new (it doesn't really do much his old tablet doesn't do), but his excitement is essentially boundless. Boundless -- until it hits a boundary. We agree with Stephen: the new iPad 2 sure is great. But, um, won't the iPad 3 be greater?

  • Guild Wars 2 dev blog exposes the Commando

    by 
    Larry Everett
    Larry Everett
    04.04.2011

    April Fools! There is no Commando class in Guild Wars 2! Wait, you already knew that was a joke? OK, well, did you know that Cinematics Lead Horia Dociu posted up an article outlining his inspiration for the whole practical joke? ArenaNet developers take not only their work but their fun very seriously. Dociu explains that his work at Valve and his love for games like Metal Gear Solid and Rogue Spear were part of the inspiration behind this April Fools' hit. He was able to get a bunch of developers involved in the project because they believed it would be fun for the fans. In today's ANet blog entry, he tells us that "the key was starting early, so that people could work on this fun stuff whenever they had free time. I also made sure not to involve any designers in hooking up actual game play, since that would have put a major dent in their schedules." If you'd like to find out more about the good times at ArenaNet, check out the rest of the dev blog and the Commando class page.

  • BBC comedians ridicule tech naming schemes, make us laugh along the way (video)

    by 
    Vlad Savov
    Vlad Savov
    12.21.2010

    They say all good comedy has a modicum of truth to it, and there's no denying that the jargon that's built up around technology is littered with opportunity for mockery, fun-poking, and general satire. Leave it to two old pros from the UK, then, Harry Enfield and Ronnie Corbett, to summarily dispatch Apple, BlackBerry, Orange, Microsoft and everyone in between in one of the better tech-related sketches we've seen. See them do their thing after the break, but be warned: the video contains (a lot) more than your recommended daily allowance of fruit puns. [Thanks, Thanasis]

  • The Game Archaeologist's fear and loathing in the Kingdom: Interrogating Mr. Skullhead

    by 
    Justin Olivetti
    Justin Olivetti
    11.09.2010

    I'm sure that after last week's introduction to our Kingdom of Loathing retrospective, many of you out there were going, "What? What is this tomfoolery? Where are my three-dee em em ohs?" Yet I guard a tiny flicker of hope in my heart that a reader or two out there felt their curiosity tingle, then burn, then spontaneously combust as he or she gave KoL a shot. In contrast to many of the other MMOs we play today, Kingdom of Loathing is downright old-school in terms of development and staff. There's no huge company here, no six floors of cubicles or corporate softball leagues. There's just a handful of gamers and writers who turned a pet project into a long-running success. Today I got the privilege of putting Josh "Mr. Skullhead" Nite to the question, and it was a treat to end all treats. An armageddon treat, if you will. So what's it like being one of the masterminds behind the most insane MMO in the world? And are the stories of its boozy origins true? Hit the jump and find out!

  • Letterman lists 'Top Ten signs you've purchased a bad iPhone'

    by 
    Mike Schramm
    Mike Schramm
    07.14.2010

    The iPhone's ongoing technical issues made it to David Letterman's Late Show last night, as he presented a "top ten signs you've purchased a bad iPhone." It's as funny as Letterman usually is -- I especially liked the Pop Tart one, and you even get a nice less-than-sincere apology to Larry King for a previous top ten inserted right in the middle there. I wonder what kind of cell phone, if any, Letterman carries around. The guy's not exactly technically inclined, and while the iPhone would probably appeal to him if he tried it (how could it not?), he might just be too much of a luddite to even bother. In other late night show host iPhone news, Conan also tweeted about the iPhone 4's reception issues -- apparently the design flaw in his iPhone is that "people get angry when I talk on it during a funeral." I wouldn't worry too much about that, though, Conan -- Apple will probably fix it in the next OS update.

  • Cataclysm Beta: Goblin /flirt and /silly sounds

    by 
    Mathew McCurley
    Mathew McCurley
    07.01.2010

    NSFW Warning: Some work environments may not like these jokes. The Cataclysm floodgates have been opened, and the torrent of information coming is awesome! Here come the goblin sound files for goblin male and female /flirt and /silly jokes and flirts. A lot of it is what you would expect from goblins -- money, wheeling and dealing, bondage jokes and... wait, what? Some of this stuff is pretty racey, and I doubt it will stay in game like the infamous "kill two dwarves" troll emote. Nonetheless, here are your goblin sound emotes. More clips are after the break.