jokes

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  • Cataclysm Beta: Worgen /silly and /flirt sounds

    by 
    Michael Sacco
    Michael Sacco
    06.30.2010

    Cataclysm beta is active, as you might have guessed, and we just keep getting more great info thanks to diligent dataminers. Case in point: someone dug up the voice clips for male and female worgen doing /flirt and /silly emotes. If you were hoping for jokes about bacon, hairballs, butt-sniffing, and multiple nipples, you basically won the emote lottery on this one. If some of the flirts seem a little risqué, you're probably not alone; sadly, all of the best (read: most suggestive) draenei and blood elf flirts never made it past beta, either. More clips after the break.

  • Ellen pokes fun at Apple... and then apologizes

    by 
    Joshua Topolsky
    Joshua Topolsky
    05.04.2010

    After watching this video, we've come to one conclusion: Apple needs to learn how to take a joke.

  • April Fools' Day roundup: 'let me Topeka that for you' edition

    by 
    Vlad Savov
    Vlad Savov
    04.01.2010

    Alright, good netizens of Engadget, it's time for us to bring you the sort of hard-hitting news content you can expect only on the first day of April. First on our slate we have the earthshaking news that Google is to officially rename itself Topeka, with the company's official blog urging all future communications to be addressed to Topeka Inc. This is to honor the Kansas town that renamed itself Google in an effort to curry favor with Goog... excuse us, Topeka's 1Gbit broadband program. We also have exclusive and absolutely official confirmation of the forthcoming Android 2.5 update, an inflatable laptop from Toshiba, YouTube's textual deviance, and the hands-down best iPad dock you will ever see. You'll have to come after the break for all those -- they're too hot to handle out in the open. We'll be updating this post as the day goes along, so keep it locked.

  • iSaidWhat?! lets you put a twist on words

    by 
    Sang Tang
    Sang Tang
    01.20.2010

    Arguments happen, words are thrown, and words are sometimes misconstrued. "Stop putting words in my mouth!", someone might say to you. With Tapparatus's iSaidWhat?! [iTunes link], now you can put words in someone else's mouth. Well, sort of. In addition to serving as a basic voice recorder, iSaidWhat?! also allows you to cut and rearrange audio snippets. Take the following interaction between Jerry and Dorothy: Jerry: I love you. You complete me. If I had just... Dorothy: Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at hello. You had me at hello. Using iSaidWhat?!, you could break down recorded audio into blocks of words or into individual words. So, the above conversation can rearranged into the following: Jerry: You love me. I complete you. Dorothy: Shut up. Just shut up. The app is very polished and a delight to use. Users are presented with two tabs, one a list of their recordings and the other a list of their arrangements. A snappy and intuitive interface allows you to mark in- and out-points; and after you've completed marking these points, you're asked what you'd like to name it. After completing an audio compilation, you can share it with the world. The app allows you to share your creation via email (which it encodes as a .wav file), over the network, Facebook and Twitter. iSaidWhat?! is available for purchase at the iTunes store for USD $1.99.

  • WoW Insider Show live this afternoon at 3:30pm Eastern

    by 
    Mike Schramm
    Mike Schramm
    10.17.2009

    Our podcast is back on the air today at 3:30pm over on Ustream, and it's gonna be a hum dinger, as the old folks used to say. We'll welcome Matthew "Matticus" Low on with us, so we'll definitely be talking some healing, and The T will be back on with us after his absence last week. Should be a great time -- we'll be chatting about the most popular stories in the World of Warcraft, including (but not limited to) the latest PTR build, the Battle.net changeover, and how, probably soon, you'll be able to send items back and forth between factions.Plus we'll answer your emails as usual, since that's always a good time. Be sure to tune in and join us -- the show goes live at 3:30pm Eastern today, and you can listen on our Ustream page, via the Ustream iPhone app, or on the embedded stream below. You can also tune in a little early (like 20 minutes) if you want to hear us chatting during the preshow while we set everything up, or stay a little later to join us during the aftershow, where we turn off the recording and just chat live directly with the chat-room. It'll definitely be a lot of fun, so if you're around and available, tune in! See you there.

  • Paul Sams owns part of the Steelers

    by 
    Mike Schramm
    Mike Schramm
    09.25.2009

    Ok, admittedly, this is about as far away from the World of Warcraft as we go on this site, but stick with me here, it'll be worth it for the jokes: Blizzplanet has discovered that Blizzard COO Paul Sams and his family are now major shareholders in the Pittsburgh Steelers, of all things. The connection seems a little hard to find, until you check the rest of the list: Thomas Tull is also a shareholder, and he happens to be CEO of Legendary Pictures, the same company that has made a deal with Sams and Blizzard to make the Warcraft movie. I can't say I know that many CEOs personally, but I have to imagine that the conversation went something like, "Hey, wanna own part of a football team with me?" And who would pass up an opportunity like that?Fortunately for Sams and his team, they're supposed to do pretty well this year (and of course they're coming off of a Super Bowl win last year), so the investment is likely a good one. But, more importantly, we can now point out that if the Steelers make their way to the conference championships and half of Blizzard travels to Pittsburgh to see the game, we'll know why the patch isn't coming out that week.

  • iLaugh, therefore I exist

    by 
    Steve Sande
    Steve Sande
    07.02.2009

    Jokes are relative. What's hysterically funny for one person may not even crack a smile on another person's face. iLaugh [App Store], a database of over 50,000 jokes for the iPhone and iPod touch from developer Azure Talon, uses sheer volume of bon mots to ensure that you'll be able to find a funny story for just about every taste.You can pick from a variety of genres from Animals to Yo Mama!, and turn on/off sex or rude jokes as well as important categories such as Chuck Norris Facts. Each joke or story can receive a thumbs up or down from you and other iLaugh users, and the app allows you to filter out jokes that don't meet a certain minimum score. Want to share a laugh with friends? iLaugh has Facebook and Twitter buttons that send the joke on to the rest of the world, and you can also use cut & paste on iPhone OS 3.0 devices to email the offending lines to your friends.All of the chuckles are available for US$0.99, and iLaugh would be a smart purchase to make before those 4th of July picnics.

  • The Daily Quest: They really are

    by 
    Mike Schramm
    Mike Schramm
    07.01.2009

    We here at WoW.com are on a Daily Quest to bring you interesting, informative and entertaining WoW-related links from around the blogosphere. Grey Matter really dislikes the Moonkin set bonus on the recently unveiled Tier 9 armor. Pink Pigtail Inn has a pretty convincing argument for why "more epics" does not equal "new content." Burnout? With all of the new patch 3.2 information coming down, Pike doesn't know anything about burnout. Rhii of ISheepThings, on the other hand, isn't real happy with the World of Warcraft today. And finally, Sydera over at World of Matticus waxes philosophical about exploits and how Blizzard is punishing them. Click here to submit a link to TDQ

  • Forum post of the day: Nerf Pop-Tarts

    by 
    Eliah Hecht
    Eliah Hecht
    05.18.2009

    This is a few days old, but still a quality post. The original poster has a bad experience with a Pop-Tart, leading to nerf calls against fire damage - apparently a pastry being able to take his tongue down to 60% in one GCD is just too much burst. Of course, if the opponents hadn't been running a Pop-Tart/Toaster combo, this never would have happened; burn damage is highly situational. It's a good set-up, but the thread really starts to shine when later posters get into it, like "You didn't specify the flavour of the pop tart, so we can't exactly see what the problem was. If it was strawberry that's kinda understandable since it is considered a hero class, but if it was brown sugar, yeah, you're making this up." You heard it here first: Strawberry is the Death Knight of toaster snacks. What do you think: do Pop-Tarts need nerfs, or do you side with the poster who says that "Pop Tarts are fine. l2eat"?

  • Valve jokingly tips hat to MMOs in latest Team Fortress 2 update

    by 
    James Egan
    James Egan
    05.04.2009

    Team Fortress 2 from Valve is one of the more MMO-like first person shooters running. It's only played online, is class-based, has achievement unlocks which open up new gear possibilities, and after the last update there's a backpack with room for 50 items and mention (read: unconfirmed) of tradeable items. In some ways, TF2 is an FPS for MMO lovers -- or just those who use way too many acronyms. The comparisons between Team Fortress 2 and MMOs aren't lost on some of the more inventive TF2 players out there like goldenhearted who's made Garry's Mod mockups of a fictional "Team Fortress 2 RPG". Valve also got in on the fun in a slightly sneaky way in the latest game update. Steam users found this programmer's tip of the hat to MMOs in the game code:

  • Full text from "Legal Copy" ad isn't quite PC-specific

    by 
    Mike Schramm
    Mike Schramm
    04.21.2009

    You've probably seen all of the new Get a Mac ads we posted about on Sunday, and if you haven't yet, go ahead and watch them now. We'll wait. Just let us know when you're back, we'll be playing a little Zen Bound. Done? If you saw the Legal Copy ad, you know that's the one where as PC makes crazy and crazier statements about PC reliability, the screen fills up with unreadable legal copy. Unreadable, that is, if you're watching on a computer, and not so much if you're watching on a huge HDTV.And so yes, MacJournals has actually retrieved and reprinted all of the text that appears in that ad. When Hodgman says "PCs are 100% trouble free," there is a long paragraph about how computers are targeted by spyware and malware, and how you have to install software drivers if you want to use any peripherals, how PC users should back up their systems, and how if they are not under warranty, they are not guaranteed a refund or replacement.But wait a minute, says MDJ, don't those last few notes apply to Macs as well? Are Mac users able to avoid requiring backups, and is Apple trying to say that even after their warranties expire, they'll be giving out refunds and replacements (actually, they sometimes do that, though it's definitely not guaranteed)? Still, if the PC faithful wanted to nitpick -- and where exactly are the PC faithful these days, again? -- there's definitely plenty of nitpicking to do here. It seems like Apple needed to fill out the text for the joke of the ad, but it's too bad they couldn't just stick with PC problems (and there are plenty of those) rather than include some common computer issues in there as well.[via Aulia Masna]

  • The Daily Grind: Pranks, busted

    by 
    Krystalle Voecks
    Krystalle Voecks
    04.01.2009

    Afraid of April Fool's day? Concerned that every single site out there on the web will be spewing forth stuff you can't trust? Have no fear, folks - the Massively team is here! Our leaders have decided that much like last year, today we will use our powers for good. Rather than pranking our readership, we'll work along with you all to hunt down and chronicle any MMO pranks going on out there. Of course, if there's any real news that does somehow land out there today, we'll be sure to report that as well. If you'd like to join the team for today's Prankbusting efforts, all you have to do is leave a comment here with any MMO game or site pranks you run across. That way we all have the chance to either check them out - or know to avoid them. We'll also be running down things going on in different MMOs so those who don't have subscriptions can still check out the silliness each MMO has to offer.

  • GDC09: We write some jokes for Tim Schafer

    by 
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    03.24.2009

    Hosting the annual Game Developer Choice Awards is no joke -- but one does require plenty of amusing witticisms to make it off the stage alive. Double Fine's Tim Schafer has foolishly agreed to host the show again this year, prompting a mad quest to find the lolz necessary to combat the lulls. If you want to pretend to help him out, you can play the amazing adventure game, Host Master and the Conquest of Humor. Us? We're going to rescue the man from catastrophic embarrassment by offering the following jokes, free of charge: "Grand Theft Auto IV's a big contender tonight. Is anybody surprised? I know I'm not the only one who had a great time cruising around in stolen vehicles, running over prostitutes, doing stylish, drive-by shootings -- and then thought, 'Man, somebody should make a game out of this!'"

  • Breakfast Topic: To talk or not to talk on Ventrilo

    by 
    Mike Schramm
    Mike Schramm
    03.19.2009

    I like Ambrosyne's Vent chart, even if it is a little harsh. It's true, when you're not part of the raid leadership (and especially when you're a talker like me), it's sometimes a little hard to tell whether it's ok to try and crack a joke in the middle of the raid on Vent or not. Usually: no. I've learned the same thing by my own experience -- no matter how easy the fights are or how your guild is doing, the raidleader probably won't appreciate you trying to play some "Safety Dance" over Vent during Heigan's dance-off.However, in my experience, there usually is a place for joking during raids, and it's the guild chat channel. Actually, that's where I do most of my communicating -- I leave the Vent chat open for raidleaders to address the whole raid with the actually important stuff, and the rest of us hang around in the peanut gallery of raid chat, grats'ing each other on good loot and slipping in some commentary for the raid. You've got to have fun, right?Raidleaders, are there any good times to open up Vent and let everybody talk? And everybody else: have there been problems in your raids thanks to an unwanted Vent outburst, or does your guild pretty much understand that silence is golden?

  • iLaugh for iPhone gives you the giggles

    by 
    Cory Bohon
    Cory Bohon
    02.24.2009

    Recently updated, iLaugh [iTunes link] for iPhone is the go-to application for all things jokes. This simple application gets jokes from several different sources and allows you to get your laughs anywhere. You can choose from either gcfl.net, which allows you to read some clean jokes; jokes.com, which can include some explicit jokes; there's also bash.org, which allows you to read funny IRC (Internet Relay Chat) quotes. If you're looking for a fun application that could provide you with unlimited chortles, then this is the application for you. You can choose between a lite version and a paid version. The lite version provides you with the same functionality, except it includes some ads. The paid version is $1.99US. Update: The developer has let us know that today there were two new sources added to both the iLaugh paid and free apps. The two sources include Chuck Norris facts in both English and French.%Gallery-45680%

  • New World of Warcraft stein features Lich King

    by 
    Mike Schramm
    Mike Schramm
    02.18.2009

    Remember those World of Warcraft steins you thought were way too expensive and passed on buying? There's another one. Three Point Entertainment has released a new stein, this one featuring everyone's favorite bad guy, the Lich King himself, brandishing Frostmourne and leading an army of the Undead in the way he's apt to do. We have to admit, it does look cool and all, but at $90, we'll be drinking our ale from the usual sippy-cup, thanks.And just in case you happen to be burdened with too much money in this horrendous economy, you can get a "Legendary Collection" version for $175 that's signed by the artist, is limited to only 750 steins worldwide, and includes "premium hand painting throughout." No idea why you'd want your hands painted, but if you're really spending $175 on a World of Warcraft mug, you're already nuts.The new steins start shipping in late April and May. Considering all of the bailouts lately, your house will probably have regained its value enough for you to afford one of these, right? We say go for it.

  • It came from the Blog: Revenge of the Orc-Moms

    by 
    Robin Torres
    Robin Torres
    05.15.2008

    Last Sunday, It came from the Blog celebrated Mother's Day by taking a bunch of female Orcs to the Barrens and telling "Your Mom" jokes. I had a lot of fun and discovered that my ICFTB guildies were very creative. Daniel Whitcomb also joined us with Okasama, his Orc-Mom.On Saturday, I was on the WoW Insider Show with Mike, Turpster, Amanda Dean and her mom, Linda Emrys and we discussed what we would be doing for the event. Turpster joked that we would be telling jokes such as "Your Mom is so supportive, she's like a suspension bridge." I contradicted him on the show, but he ended up being right to a point. Many of the jokes did begin "Your Mom is so cool..." and "Your Mom is so hot...", but there were of course plenty of "Yo mama is so fat..." and the like, as well.

  • WoW Insider Show Episode 34: Blizzard's listening in

    by 
    Mike Schramm
    Mike Schramm
    04.22.2008

    Q: How many Warlocks does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Just one, but he needs two other people to click on it.Yes, that's the kind of quality humor that you'll hear on this week's podcast (and the best joke is right at the end of the show). It's now available for listening on WoW Radio and also in iTunes. This past Saturday, Turpster joined me, Eliah Hecht, and Matthew Rossi for a little discussion about all things WoW in the past week. We got in some good discussion about speccing as a mage and lots of other reader emails, as well as: A chat about just how much information Blizzard keeps about us Whether old world PvP nostalgia is just that, and what can happen with world PvP in the future Will Naxxaramas' migration to Northrend mean Tier 3 is going bye-bye? And we chatted about the "brutal" ratings required on Brutal Gladiator items in season 4, and why they're there. Plus of course instant feedback from the IRC channel, and the usual wackiness. If you liked the show or have a comment for us, feel free to send along a note to theshow@wow.com, and we might even read it next week live on the virtual air. Thanks for listening, enjoy the show.

  • Move in the flame wreath, and other fun bits of advice

    by 
    Adam Holisky
    Adam Holisky
    04.06.2008

    I really don't know why, but lately my friends and I are trying to get each other to do something stupid with content we've already mastered. Last night I found myself talking to a good friend of mine and the conversation went something like this:Me: "I'm bored. What are you up to?"Her: "Aran."Me: "Remember to move during the flame wreath."Her: "And stand in the blizzard, right?"Me: "Yeah, so you're cold when the flame wreath hits you."Now obviously this is the exact opposite of what you want to do. But the sheer absurdity of it makes me laugh. I mean, who among us hasn't seen flame wreath and thought, "Hey, it'd be really funny if I moved right now. Everyone would probably want to kill me... but still, it'd be a great Leroy moment."I don't think I'm alone in this. I've heard other people joke about it as well. That makes me feel good; proves that while I'm a geek, at least I have some company. But what I really want to know is what you all think about this. So here's what I want. Leave a comment with a piece of absurd advice that only WoW folks would understand. Then, next weekend I'll pick the top five or so and we can all vote for the most absurd piece of WoW advice. No prize for the winner or anything like that, just bragging rights.So tell us all - what is some of the most absurd and funny advice you can think of?

  • Nihilum apologizes...

    by 
    Amanda Miller
    Amanda Miller
    04.02.2008

    After reading an announcement on the evening of March 31st, 2008 declaring that Nihilum, whom we recently interviewed, would be quitting the World of Warcraft forever, WoW Insider received quite a lot of mail surrounding the issue. Was it true, or simply another April Fools joke?They even began disbanding their guild and joining others, and spoke of a plan to reappear together, perhaps in other games. There was an outpouring of love and concern from the community at large, and unlike the reaction to other jokes on April 1st, everyone was at least weary (ahem) wary that this one was not a joke.Nihilum cited several reasons for their departure, including dissatisfaction with Blizzard's designs and methods, and an overall trend towards casual play while depleting much of the rewards, incentive and challenge for hardcore guilds, including changes made in patch 2.4.At 12:01 a.m. on April 2nd, 2008, Nihilum confirmed that they were indeed yanking our chains, and even made a cheerful April Fools video. To quote, "Sorry for the scare everyone!" with a keen happy face at the end. We love you Nihilum!