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The ghostly creature hovered in the air, quietly chewing on a chocolate chip cookie. Her iridescent wings flapped in slow, lazy arcs. "And you don't know where you got her?" Lolegolas asked. "No clue at all?" "None," Throgg confirmed. "I just opened up my pet bag and poof. There she was. She's pr...

May 17th 2013 at 3:00pm 0 Comments
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The man not named Spot stared at his bone. It was a good bone, from days gone by. He held it in his hands and heaved a huge sigh. Except for the thick glass of stout by his side, the man may have been holding back tears. "Hey, there, buddy," the bartender said. "Why the long face?" "This was gi...

January 25th 2013 at 5:00pm 0 Comments
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"Throgg, we're supposed to be finding your dog." "Our dog." "Your dog," Lolegolas countered. "What are you doing in there? We're in a hurry." "It's an outhouse," Throgg replied from behind the wooden door. "It's the Throne of Thunder. What do you think I'm doing?" "Forging Deep Thunder," Lole...

January 18th 2013 at 4:00pm 0 Comments
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Wandering through the isles of Pandaria, Throgg and Lolegolas are making a slow but inevitable trip toward Miranda. But for now, we'll enjoy some shock, awww, and general fun with their journey. The druid jogged down the hill to catch up with the dyanamic duo. He stopped short when he saw the di...

July 6th 2012 at 5:00pm 0 Comments
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When last we left our heroes, they were derailed by Diablo III. Because that certainly hasn't happened to anyone else. Unfortunately, their erstwhile trip to Sanctuary means Miranda remains in captivity. "Your friends are taking a long time to mount a rescue," the shadowy man said. "I expected t...

May 25th 2012 at 7:00pm 0 Comments
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As we now transition to a new chapter of the story, the narrator will take a moment and indulge in literary thievery -- I mean, literary homage. Well, not really literary, since I'm stealing from a different medium, but I've always liked the idea -- and shut up and read it already, OK? In patch...

May 4th 2012 at 3:00pm 0 Comments
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When we last left our heroes, Throgg was complaining about Garrosh, essentially proving his membership in the Horde ... or, alternatively, proving his membership in the Alliance. Hatred of Garrosh is a unifying force in Azeroth, similar to love of Legos in the real world. The four rode into Tiri...

January 27th 2012 at 8:00pm 0 Comments
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When last we left our valiant heroes, Throgg was making bad jokes. As a result, we'll be taking a slightly more serious approach this week and give those puns a chance to come off cooldown. Also, SOPA bad. The Gilnean and Miranda both slept in their respective tents. Lolegolas chalked it up to t...

January 20th 2012 at 9:00am 0 Comments
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Ashenvale creaked as impossibly large trees swayed in the afternoon breeze. The Worgen druid glanced appreciatively at the forest as he rejoined Throgg and Lolegolas. "The innkeep was surprisingly pudgy for a Night Elf," the druid said. "But he did say a pair of Tauren passed through here recent...

September 23rd 2011 at 1:00pm 0 Comments
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Throgg turned over the Necklace of Fetishes in his hand. When he'd explained more about the object, the Gilnean quickly waved his hands in the air frantically. "I don't need to know," the druid claimed. Now, though, Lolegolas stood in the middle of the room, carefully examining his bullets. "The...

September 2nd 2011 at 9:00am 0 Comments
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Throgg slid the plate boots onto his feet with a triumphant jerk. "They fit well." Lolegolas nodded in agreement before taking another sip of tea. His hands were shaking visibly, and the tea threatened to slosh over the side. "We can ignore the reflective top and assume you won't be tucking your...

August 5th 2011 at 3:00pm 0 Comments
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Lolegolas tapped the blade called Reforged Heartless against his leg. He'd taken it from the cow now bound tightly next to his campfire. Lolegolas wouldn't normally use slurs to describe fellow members of the Horde, but he was running out of patience. "The thing about addicts," Lolegolas said in...

June 24th 2011 at 3:00pm 0 Comments