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Joystiq Weekly: Telltale takes on Minecraft, Xeodrifter review, broken games and more
Welcome to Joystiq Weekly, a "too long; didn't read" of each week's biggest stories, reviews and original content. Each category's top story is introduced with a reactionary gif, because moving pictures aren't just for The Daily Prophet. Telltale Games looked at Minecraft's build-what-you-want universe and decided to build an episodic, narrative-driven game instead of a crummy castle like the rest of us. At this point, we wouldn't even be surprised if Telltale Games' next project is a narrative-driven series starring Samuel the rock ... it would probably be well-written, too. There's a bit more to this week's recap beyond Telltale's latest reveal though, including ports of the last two Devil May Cry games, free games for those that own Assassin's Creed Unity's season pass, a review of Xeodrifter and an assessment of recent high-profile, broken-at-launch games. All that and more is waiting for you after the break in this edition of the Joystiq Weekly!
Joystiq appreciates a good pun
The team here at Joystiq enjoys a good pun – though it's unclear sometimes if everyone else appreciates them quite as much as we do. Still, video games aren't beyond playing with words either and 2014 was a good year for particularly punny games. As we wind down 2014, Team Joystiq takes a look at some of our favorite wordplay moments in games for the year. It may be a low form of humor, but that doesn't mean it can't make us chuckle. >>A Good Year for Puns in Games<<
DC Universe Online explains how the Earth powerset rocks out
DC Universe Online players have known that the next major powerset has been set in stone for some time now. The Earth powerset is rolling along, and in the latest developer blog the team explains just how the set works for all sorts of players. At its foundation, the powerset is split into the Geokinesis and Seismic trees, with the former allowing players to shape weapons of stone and the latter projecting earthquakes and similar eruptions. Mastery of Geokinesis allows players to summon earth golems to fight alongside them, solidifying a defensive strategy with transferred damage and special stone totems. On the other hand, mastery of the Seismic tree lets you summon localized epicenters and yank pillars of stone from the ground, flinging enemies around and knocking them off their feet. While it doesn't seem like the new set will be kind to property values, players will probably have more than a few new tricks to use like a stone-cold killer.
Star Wars Blu-ray details to be revealed May 4th
After a CES reveal and finding out the release date of all the Star Wars films on Blu-ray (in The Complete Saga, Original Trilogy and Prequel only editions), what more could there be to find out? Apparently quite a bit, and LucasFilm has sent out an email informing those interested to keep an eye on maythe4th.starwars.com (great pun, George, did you come up with that one on your own?) where it is promised "all will be revealed" -- most likely details on the extensive special features and official box art -- at 9 AM EST. Clear your Wednesday calendar and keep refreshing that page, which currently features a conveniently ticking countdown to the main event.
Snowballs piling up in Hell: Faxion Online enters its second closed beta test
"Free to pray, free to prey, free to play," the tagline goes. While Faxion Online continues to milk all of the religious-themed puns the team can think of (and it's hard not to add your own!), this afterlife MMO continues to charge ahead with the second phase of its beta process. UTV True Games announced that Faxion Online has entered its second closed beta test, which has been expanded to include new players and a number of improvements implemented after the first test. Faxion now has an improved starter tutorial that invites players to learn about heavenly living or hellish confluct, depending on the class chosen. Other improvements include class reballancing, new areas and teleportation stones that help warriors get to the conflicts even faster than before. UTV's Frank Lucero credits the players for shaping the game's development: "The responses to the first closed beta have been incredible in helping us determine updates for this second phase." You can check out this tongue-in-cheek PvP MMO by signing up for the beta test or by vicariously experiencing the spiritual planes in our Faxion Online first impressions.
BBC comedians ridicule tech naming schemes, make us laugh along the way (video)
They say all good comedy has a modicum of truth to it, and there's no denying that the jargon that's built up around technology is littered with opportunity for mockery, fun-poking, and general satire. Leave it to two old pros from the UK, then, Harry Enfield and Ronnie Corbett, to summarily dispatch Apple, BlackBerry, Orange, Microsoft and everyone in between in one of the better tech-related sketches we've seen. See them do their thing after the break, but be warned: the video contains (a lot) more than your recommended daily allowance of fruit puns. [Thanks, Thanasis]
The Game Archaeologist's fear and loathing in the Kingdom: Interrogating Mr. Skullhead
I'm sure that after last week's introduction to our Kingdom of Loathing retrospective, many of you out there were going, "What? What is this tomfoolery? Where are my three-dee em em ohs?" Yet I guard a tiny flicker of hope in my heart that a reader or two out there felt their curiosity tingle, then burn, then spontaneously combust as he or she gave KoL a shot. In contrast to many of the other MMOs we play today, Kingdom of Loathing is downright old-school in terms of development and staff. There's no huge company here, no six floors of cubicles or corporate softball leagues. There's just a handful of gamers and writers who turned a pet project into a long-running success. Today I got the privilege of putting Josh "Mr. Skullhead" Nite to the question, and it was a treat to end all treats. An armageddon treat, if you will. So what's it like being one of the masterminds behind the most insane MMO in the world? And are the stories of its boozy origins true? Hit the jump and find out!
LEGO Universe lets pre-order customers start extra early
Anticipation for LEGO Universe has been building ever since the foundation was laid for the game. Considering the way in which players have assembled for the game's release, it seems no surprise that the team behind the game has put together something special for launch. We had known that there would be an early access event to allow players to start piecing things together, but now it seems that an even earlier release is being opened up for "Founders" to start playing -- one that starts this weekend. Starting at 10:08 a.m. EDT on Friday, October 8th, the pre-order customers known in community terms as "Founders" will be able to log in and start playing the game, allowing them full access over the weekend. If you can't wait until then and still haven't pre-ordered, however, you aren't out of luck yet, as the official announcement encourages players to visit the nearest LEGO store to pre-order the game and get a special mini-figure. LEGO Universe players will have to keep their eyes peeled for further instructions, as the end of the week is quickly approaching, and it promises quite a set of experiences.
Shocking revelations in the newest City of Heroes developer diary
It's fair to say that Going Rogue is going to be a fairly big shock to the system of City of Heroes -- especially if the control-oriented archetypes have anything to say about it. The fourth powerset included with the expansion, Electrical Control, hasn't gotten quite as much press time as Kinetic Melee, Dual Pistols, or Demon Summoning. But it's got just as much spark as the others -- more, in fact -- and a new offsite developer diary by Floyd "Castle" Grubb and Keetsie Braz da Cunha focuses on both the visual and mechanical design of the powers. As Castle describes it, the powerset wasn't originally designed for player use, but as a testbed of several concepts to see how they would play out in the game engine. It was converted to a player set when Going Rogue approached, however... which required a re-design of several parts of the set. The visuals were a hurdle as well, seeing as the set had to feel visually distinct from the many other electricity-themed powers the game already possesses. Take a look at the full diary to see how the problems were solved, showing City of Heroes players another peek at how the development team is conducted.
Don't be a foo, tweet to be a hero (and get closed beta keys for Kung Foo!)
Do you want to be a cool hero? As cool of a hero as the guy in the picture above? Or, even better, do you want to be cooler and more heroic than that guy? Yeah, we know you do. Well, you have two options. One of those options involves investing more money in rhinestones than the dude above, which is close to impossible. The other option, the more feasible option, if you ask us, is to get a hold of your tweety page and try to get the attention of Perfect World Entertainment's Kung Foo! twitter account. You know, the MMO that puts the FU in FUN? (We can't take the credit for that one. That was all Perfect World.) What the staff from the new kung-fu parody game is looking for are catchy one-liners/puns involving the #FOO hashtag. You know, things like "Give me #FOO or give me death" (not that funny) or "Get #FOO or get out!" (more funny.) Get their attention with an awesome one-liner, and you get to be a hero! Totally better than that guy! And if you're a hero, then you're totally heroic enough to deserve a closed beta key for Kung Foo! It's like a two-for-one deal! Or, hey, you could always go over and register for the Kung Foo! closed beta like a mundaneinite. We'd do that, but we've been told if we pass some Muse tickets to Perfect World's Jason Varden, we get to skip the closed beta scrutiny line. So excuse us, suckahs, we're skippin' 'da line!
Anti-Aionsed: This time, I put the joke of the title before the colon
The people who follow my personal blog or follow me on Twitter or listen to the Massively Speaking podcast probably saw this column coming from a mile away. Aion and I... we have some business to take care of.This week is Aion's launch week and I do believe that I need to put my thoughts down on the game, like so many other journalists are doing this week. Now, please, even before we start, I need to make it clear that this isn't a review. This is my collected thoughts about the game as I've played it through closed beta, open beta, the head start, and now the live game. I've made alts on all of the classes, I've gotten past level 10 as the templar, I've done grouping, and I'm actually going to continue playing after this column is done. I delayed these thoughts because I wanted to make sure I was confident in what I was about to say.So what are my collected thoughts on the game? Well let's start off with the good, and go on to the bad, and then finally hit our synopsis. Hit continue reading, because I can assure you that this is going to be daevafinitely interesting. (And, most likely, full of bad, bad Aion puns.)
unmarked software cleans up TextSoap 6
OK, when a Mac application has a fun word like "soap" in the name, you just have to roll with the puns. Please forgive me.The developers at unmarked software have scrubbed the dickens out of TextSoap, their text processing application for Mac OS X. Some dirty bugs had besmirched the application, especially in the trial version, so unmarked lathered up the code and washed 'em out. Now they're bubbling over with clean news about TextSoap 6.2.1.Bad puns aside, TextSoap 6.2.1 also adds some new improvements to the venerable text processor. You can read a complete list of changes on the TextSoap 6 history page. If you're not familiar with TextSoap, it brings powerful text processing and cleaning tools to just about any other app through the rarely-used OS X Services Menu. Plugins are provided for other applications such as Coda, BBEdit, and TextWrangler. If you own version 4 or 5 of TextSoap, unmarked would like to remind you that you can still upgrade to 6.2.1 for US$24.95. Those of you who are trying out TextSoap for the first time can use the free trial, and then consider purchasing the application for US$39.95.(While we're talking about soap, check out that cool Macintosh apple-scented iPhone soap in the photo!)
Man named Wii shares his tale
Even though MTV's story about New Yorker Wii Yatani will no doubt illicit numerous "lol, slow news day?" replies from hilarious internet japesters, we found it to be quite novel.Judging by his interview, Wii endured the same two problems that originally faced Nintendo's console when it was renamed: either people didn't know how to pronounce his name correctly, or they concocted the kind of puns about urine that should carry the death penalty (we're deadly serious).In the end, though, it all worked out. Nintendo coincidentally named its awesome console after Yatani, who promptly offered to become a spokesperson for the company (an offer that was declined), and who now has to endure a raft of new jokes from his friends. Jokes such as: "Oh, Wii, are you going to go home to play with yourself?"You probably had to be there.[Via Digg]
Confirmed: our future lies on the Canary Islands
As if picture-perfect beaches, low taxes and fifty weeks of sunshine a year weren't already good enough reasons to emigrate to the Canary Islands (linked for Americans ... I kid!), then we just found the absolute clincher: a bank in the region that is giving away Wiis ... for free!Of course, when we say "for free," what we actually mean is "in the form of a €300 loan (with 0% interest) that must be paid back within six months, providing you like the idea of keeping your house." That does mean you'll be paying an extra €50 on top of the usual price of a Wii in Europe, but we suppose the fact you don't have to cough up for six months makes things all better, or at least it does until Dad has to go to jail.Oh, and what is this fabulous promotion called? Why, it's the CrediWii. Ugh, they're not even trying now.[Via NeoGAF]
Wii Warm Up: Punniversary
This week, as part of our extended Wii anniversary celebration, we had a look at some of our favorite Wii puns found in other sites' (and our own) Wii-related coverage. But there's no way (no Wii, lol) we could possibly highlight every Wii pun on the Internet. There are too many and most of them are extremely (extWiimely, rofl) awful. But within the context of awful puns, some of them are fun.Now's your chance to step in and prove your expertise about a very specialized subject. What's your favorite Wii pun? We're sure you've seen a couple that we didn't mention.
Wii Groan: the 'best' Wii puns
Nintendo's latest console has a short, monosyllabic, easy-to-pronounce name. Perhaps you've heard it: Wii. It was designed to be universal, cute, and easy to remember, and it fulfills all those requirements nicely. However, its very brevity curses the Wii name to an eternity of use in puns. It is infinitely easier to find a single syllable in a word with which "Wii" can be substituted than to find a word that sounds even kind of like "Playstation 3" "Atari 2600" or "FM Towns Marty." Naturally, the Internet went crazy for Wii puns; it's quite easy to make a pun when you don't have to look anyone in the eye. We've collected some of our favorite Wii puns from across the Internet, categorized loosely by source. Well, maybe "favorite" isn't the right word. This list is by no means comprehensive, mostly because there are about a million instances of "Wii" used for "we", and also because it's really hard to search for these things when all you have to go on is that they involve "Wii" somewhere. With one exception, we've omitted the "Wii/we" puns, because, well, you get it. It sounds like "Wii." Okay, make that two exceptions: we can't let "Wii have caught you cheating on your husband" go by unnoticed.If you're one of the punsters responsible for a highlighted pun, pat yourself on the back! We aren't here to mock your wordplay, but rather to celebrate one of the most visible phenomena associated with the blossoming Wii fandom. So Wiilax!
