appears on eBay and suddenly implants within us desires that are nothing short of sinister. Crafted by the same hands and mechanical forceps (probably) that produced an equally attractive Legend of Zelda Wii makeover just over a month ago, this particular variant of Nintendo's portable powerhouse demands a dramatic increase in our current rupee supply.
We don't care how many blades of grass we have to mercilessly chop down or how many pots must be senselessly shattered to further our goal. This little device, with its customized charging stand and LED that is "calibrated to not be overbearing or too dim" must be ours.
Or yours, if you outbid us. True, a portion of your money would go to Penny Arcade's Child's Play charity, but we'd forever hold a grudge. The kind of grudge that will see all your precious (and amusingly buoyant) pigs tossed into the nearest ocean.